Munch and I had spent the day doing what he wanted to do. He had been for 2 walks, received lots of fuss, had a free run and a mad half hour in the garden throwing his toys around and making me chase them and retrieve them which I could only do by feel as I could not see them. I thought he would be okay when I broke the news to him that I fancied going to the gym that night to yoga class. I thought it may give him a little incentive to keep trying the new Dog Yoga that has become popular. I realized that one of the many stumbling blocks that may put a halt on our new imagined joint hobby was that Munch had the grace of an ice skating clown and coordination of an octopus on a tightrope, so I wasn’t sure if he was cut out for it. Also trying to keep a yoga pose whilst having a 35kg clumsy dog balancing on me sounded like a trip to A & E may have to be pre-booked. Ever the optimist, I listened to YouTube videos and continued attempting some home tuition. We had been practicing in the house for the last few days. I though we might as well, as he constantly invaded my yoga mat whilst I was practising. It was usually only to compete for attention though, as Angus the cat was on there with me, weaving in and out of my outstretched arms and legs. It really wasn’t going as planned.
We hadn’t been to Human Yoga for a few months due to a reoccurring protruding disc and a dislocated knee for the seventh time. Now they were both back where they should be, I fancied going back to the yoga that I loved. Munch on the other hand was a little less enthusiastic although I knew he would love it when he got there. After spending the day doing dog happy stuff, I thought this exchange of an hour of yoga was reasonable. A brewing Diva strop that was emitting from him reasoned otherwise. Gliding through the gym with his Poodle like presence parading his mere maid behind him, he located the dance studio doors. We took up our usual spot in the back corner of the room, where his ample body and my clumsiness would not get in the way of anyone. After some of the regulars had come to greet him and say how much they had missed him, he got comfy and took up his usual regal pose where he could keep a watch over his two-legged fans. It was a relief to be back in the class and all was going well until I was inhaling and exhaling blissfully in downward facing dog. As my inhale tunred into an exhale, I caught the tail end of a familiar smell. As I inhaled deeply on the next breath, it was obvious that Munch had let out an anal exhale. The stench that was enticing bile up for a vomit party, was the after effects of the stolen cat food from Angus and the sneaked vegan cheese and spinach sweet potato wrap from the kitchen counter that had mysteriously gone missing earlier on. I wondered if I would ever breath fresh air again, whilst he blissfully lay in the corner seemingly proud of what he had produced.
He began settling in and relaxing more just as my body was being stretched to its limits. As I stretched I heard his claws on the floor behind me stretching out and he let out a large sigh as he got comfortable. As I did Cobra pose, I felt his paw being placed gently on my ankle and I knew that his Diva strop had passed, and he was beginning to enjoy the music and energy in the room. As the instructor talked though some new poses that I didn’t know and could not see to copy anyone, I just did my own random things in the back that resembled a mix between yoga and the dying fly. Munch was obviously worried about my odd behaviour, as he edged closer to me and nuzzled into my shoulder. As his sloppy kisses drenched my face, I knew that I had been forgiven for bringing him.
The most difficult part of the evening was trying to remove his paw, head and at one-point half of his body from laying across me. I don’t think he will ever be a Dog yoga enthusiast as it probably seemed like too much hard work for him. He seems quite happy just to watch me. He obviously was not put on this earth to join the Dog Yoga movement. He was eager to join in the relaxing meditation in the end and excelled at the Shavasana pose (the corpse pose) where he snored away loudly in the darkened room. He had mastered that pose some time ago. I think we may have to find an alternative joint hobby to keep him happy. Ah well, at least I tried.