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Due to the historical general implication of what street corners are famous for, standing on them does not appeal to me. Not wanting to be questioned for loitering with intent, I usually pass them by like any law-abiding citizen. Munch on the other hand has other ideas. For the last week or so, there has appeared to be a magnetic draw between his derriere and the floor on street corners. This puzzling behaviour has got me both worried and intrigued as it is so out of character for him. I have been scared to Google “street corner doggy behaviour” just in case I find something I shouldn’t.

The first time that it happened, I was concerned that he had an injury of some sort and could not walk but after I gave him a quick check over I ruled it out. Next on the mental check list was maybe he was thirsty, so I gave him some water in his bowl that I always carry but when he turned his nose up at this I knew that it must be something else. When his planted derriere still wouldn’t move I wondered if there was an obstacle in the distance that I couldn’t see which would have made him stop in our tracks. After zooming in on the location around us with the maximum capacity with the camera on my phone, I couldn’t see any obvious reasons for his odd behaviour. After what felt like an age, he finally got up, sighed and walked on.

This strange behaviour continued to happen a few times over the following week in different locations. The answer to his odd behaviour came a couple of days ago when he was in sitting protest mode. As a taxi slowed down and pulled up slightly further down the street from us, he decided to shoot up off the floor at record speed and try and pull me towards the taxi. It was then that I realized that this Diva just wanted a ride. Steering him away from the taxi muttering “no it’s not for us” to the stroppy soul, I twigged that he had been waiting for a lift each time. As our work days have increased over the last month we have been catching more taxis, buses and trains, so he just thought that we were getting a taxi to save his poor paws.

Munch’s sense of entitlement is always present as he saunters through life. Not one to break a sweat in his working life if he can help it. he is quite happy to be transported around by any means possible. Why walk when minions can come and save his paws from over exertion? If he can stretch out and snooze in any type of vehicle whilst being chauffeured around, his Highness is happy. The term “working dog” feels like a trade description breech when he in such dormant mood. Expecting such a regal being to walk when he can be carried, is such a failure on my part and I must try better in the future to meet his needs.

I think it is time for me to start saving up for a limousine to transport him around. I think it is only fair also that I arrange in advance for him to be greeted at each destination with a red carpet for him to feel that his status is honoured and respected. Maybe it is an idea to hire a full-time chef for his catering needs as one cannot be expected to eat any old slop. Who do you think would be best to design his robe and crown for his royal duties? Would it be too premature to arrange his inauguration for the masses to attend or should I wait until there is public outcry for his leadership?

My little Minster Munch has taught me many things, with patience being a main one. Findings ways around his demanding nature is always pleasing to my problem-solving loving mind. Until he is lying stretched out in his limousine wearing his bespoke robe and crown with a belly full of fine dining, he may have to make do with pounding the pavement with his paws with shop bought treats enticing him along the way. Sorry Munch, we all must slum it sometimes.