Tags

, , , , , , ,

Is your life goal to move as little as possible, sleep a lot and spend your days conserving your energy? If so, here is your chance to find out how to live that horizontal life to the max from one of the worlds leading experts in the field Minster Munch Cooper. In this fascinating interview from this professional sloth act alike, you will gain insight into what you personally need to do to become one of the most sought- after spots in history of Snoozetown. So, get comfy, settle in and feel happy in the knowledge that this will be your main spot for the foreseeable future.

Interviewer – So, I have heard that after many years of training in the field, you are the go-to guru that holds the key to transforming one’s life into a sloth like haven. What would you tell want to be sloths about life in Snoozetown?

Note – The interview was put on hold at this point for 45 minutes as the guru fell into a slumber mid-question and was unable to respond. Only a disturbance from Angus the cat walking over his face roused him from his sleep.

The sloth Guru – It’s comfy.

The Interviewer – You sloths are renowned for being gentle creatures. You must feel unthreatened by the environment that you are in and feel at ease with those around you. What is the secret to becoming the gentle soul that you are and trusting in people around you?

The Sloth Guru – Cuddle and show affection to everyone you meet.

The Interviewer – Oh that is so sweet. What advice can you give to others on how to conserve energy if they want the sloth like existence?

The Sloth Guru – Look cute, look needy and let others fetch and carry for you.

The Interviewer – Some wise words their Guru Sloth. How much beauty sleep do you need to keep you looking so beautiful?

The Sloth Guru – Sleep up to 20 hours a day without fail.

The Interviewer – Are you always in the sloth-like mode or do you ever get energetic?

The Sloth Guru – Not a lot of people know that sloths can swim so you may find me swimming like a fish. Then sleeping for the rest of the day and night.

The Interviewer – It has been noted that you tend to be a little…. clumsy, is that the sloth in you or is that just your adorable personality?

The Sloth Guru – No comment.

The Interview – Sorry if I offended you. Where is your ‘happy’ zone?

The Sloth Guru – Sleeping.

The Interviewer – What gets you excited?

The Sloth Guru – Sleeping.

The Interviewer – Tell me what is your ideal life?

The Sloth Guru – Sleeping.

The Interviewer – What inspiration can you give to others who want to live a serene life like yours?
The Sloth Guru- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

If you have found this interview as enthralling as the Sloth Gurus life, take his hints and life hacks to live the life that your inner laziness really wants you to live. The Sloth Gurus teachings can be found in the Land of Nod so get snoozing and get slothing.