Operation Munch

Tags

Animals, Doggie People, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle, Operation

So, the knee operation went well, and it is beginning to heal nicely. Most importantly though, I know you are all wondering how Munch has coped with it all. Here is a quick rundown of how he coped on op day.

7.30am – We arrived at the hospital and were shown to our own cubicle as they aware that Munch was coming in with me. As soon as we entered the room and the nurse left to get the paperwork to fill in, Munch went to jump up on the bed immediately. I caught him mid air and firmly told him to get down before Infection control on the ward had a total meltdown.

9am – Two nurses, the anaesthetist, surgeon, surgical procedure representative and a few passing people in the corridor had come to say hi to Munch and fallen in love with him. Many asked if they take him home with them, others just settled for a fuss.

10.30am – Munch went home for a little run and nap with my friend whilst I popped down to theatre. In the anaesthetic room the anaesthetist asked where Munch had gone which started a conversation off with the anaesthetic nurse about Munch and her nine stone New Foundland dog and the anaesthetist’s Golden retriever. After the spinal was administered and we were all busy laughing about doggy antics, the surgeon came in and asked whenever we were finished having our loud party, he was ready for us. Ooops, I always seem to get told off for laughing too loud and causing mayhem.

1.50pm – After a bit of ACL ligament removal and donor replacement, bone shaving, bone grafting and anchoring into place with some screws, I woke up in the recovery room to another nurse asking me about Munch. They had obviously been talking about him when I was in the sedated land of nod. After hearing more doggy stories from this new person it was time to go back up onto the ward.

3pm – During routine obs I was asked when Munch was coming back. My “when I get discharged” answer was not good enough apparently, so the nurse went to ask the other staff members and they said to bring him back now if I wanted to as they loved having him there. We settled on asking him to come back at 6.30 for the staff to have their Munch fix before they finished their shift.

6.30 – I was informed by my friend that brought him back that he was stopped in the corridor on the way up and was told by one of the nurses that he shouldn’t have taken him home as she missed him (Munch not my friend). I knew by the “Oh’s” that I heard when he came back that Munch was back on the ward and heading my way. After a quick sniff of my bandaged knee and a few gentle kisses he settled back down in the room but not before he gave me the obligatory “you are in MY bed” look.

7.45pm – Munch popped his head out in the corridor (whilst off harness but on his lead), to have a little nosey around. Two of the new night staff saw him and fell in love with him. I heard more and more voices coming over to him and cooing all over him as I was told there were six members of staff in all there fussing all over him. Questions fired at him and fuss was made, two even got sloppy kisses from him which I am sure they soon washed off with anti-bacterial wash

9.10pm – The porter came to collect us to take us to the main doors to go home. Munch had a quick sniff of him for approval which began off a whole new set of doggy stories from his own life.

All in all, it is fair to say that Munch had a lovely day full of fuss and attention. I had a day filled with sweet dog stories from all directions from people I never would have really had these conversations with them if it wasn’t for Munch. That day, my knee op was just a minor triviality in life with Munch. He has yet to go anywhere subtly and seems to always be centre of attention but that is the way that I always want to keep it. He is the best pain relief ever!

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Meet My Friend

Tags

Animals, Friends, Guide Dog, Humour, tortoise

Hey, come and meet my new best friend! I heard the maid wrote a post about me a little while ago saying that it was taking me time to get used to Faith the tortoise. Well, let me tell you MY version of events before you make up your mind about who is right and which maid was wrong.

I have known Faith and Hero (her brother) for the last two years and I have often gone up to the vivarium that they were in or the run outside that they exercised in and graced them with seeing my handsome face. I knew that my face would brighten up anyone’s day as who could resist my Labradoodle good looks? I sometimes barked to ask them if they wanted to come and play but the spoil sports never did.They lived with my two legged less hairy grandparents so I knew them quite well and it was on top of their indoor home that my treats were kept so there will always be a special place in my heart for them ( I mean my treats but I suppose I also mean the tortoises) .

When Hero went missing a few weeks ago after they had both hatched an escape plan from their outdoor run, my grandparents felt like they needed to be somewhere where they had more freedom, so the maid offered to have them. Hero is still missing in action although we believe he is exploring the great outdoors of the lush Welsh land so will be fine and will not starve. Faith however has made herself comfy in MY home.

Apparently, my barking at her when she arrived and touching her with my paw and mouth was not acceptable, so the maid kept us apart for a while. I finally got around to train the maid to give me a treat for every time I was around Faith on my lead and didn’t bark. The next step I trained her in was when she allowed me to go near Faith without my lead on. I remained silent and had masses of fuss and a treat. This training process of my maid only took me a matter of four days which was impressive as it usually takes me longer to train her in other areas.

We have now got to the stage that I go and find Faith when the maid asks me too and sniff her out where I will stay with her until the maid comes over. As the maid cannot see, I am her eyes in looking after Faith and have gone to get her a few times when Faith gets stuck between two objects and needs rescuing.

Although I am still top dog in the family and the two legged less hairy race, Angus and Faith are below me, I am willing to admit that I like having all of these around. Faith and I will get on just fine I think as I admire her pace of life and her low maintenance ways doesn’t interfere with my high maintenance standards. I think we will soon become best of friends.

Bring on the next challenge of letting me train my maid and trick her into giving me treats to stop my”unacceptable “behaviour. I wonder when my next new best friend will arrive for some more delicious training treats?

A Peaceful End To A Protest

Tags

Animals, Dog, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Respect, Tolerance, Unconditional Love

I wonder what his placard would have said if he had one.

I WANT FREEDOM. WHEN DO I WANT IT? NOW?

LABRADDODLES RULE.

1 HOUR WORKDAYS ARE TOO MUCH

YOU MUST OBEY THE KING

I BARK, YOU LISTEN

Many may have thought that this sit-down protest came out of nowhere but I, his maid, knew him well enough to know that I was obviously asking too much of him. I was asking him to pass a place of play that he loved to cause mischief in. His on-duty Harness wearing persona Minster was out doing his guide dog duties but his Munch like side was triggered by the sight of wide-open grass. What was a dog to do?

As his pace slowed down, I knew we were in trouble. His gentle leader clad head softly turned to his left as his heart began to long for some freedom. He wanted to bound around like a leaping lamb in the place where he has spent many a morning leading Elle the golden Labrador astray. A place where he has accidentally on purpose run off with a ball or two from some poor unsuspecting dog just for the banter. It is here that he has had many an unsuccessful attempt to jump up into the trees that may have a squirrel or two. Basically, this is one of the places that he can be free to be the clown that he was born to be.

The problem that I had on this day was that I did not have my cane with me or his bell collar that I use to hear where he is as opposed to seeing where he is so I could not really let him off his harness. He had already had a run in the morning and a 3 mile walk so was far from exercise deprived but his cold shoulder was telling me different. His sit down protest lasted a good 15 minutes and despite my reasoning with his rational side, he refused to budge. He was going in that field one way or another and I was just going to have to deal with it.

During our pointless one-way conversation, a person had passed by twice commenting “oh, you are still here then” on the way back. I really wanted to say “yes, my owner has decided he is not budging until he gets his own way” but I settled with the little fib of “Yes we are just having a rest in the fresh air”. Not wanting to be reported for loitering with intent (although I am not sure what harm a blind woman and a stubborn guide dog could be accused of), it was time to compromise. He would get his own way, but he would have to stay on the lead to help me avoid any trip hazards.

Slipping his harness off his body, I could sense his hopes getting up. When I failed to unclip his lead from his collar, I sensed his hopes fall. Not a good thing for this drama king to experience as I knew that although he thought had got what he wanted; he was not wholly free. His sulking shoulders were reluctant to move his legs at a quickened pace to begin with, but he soon warmed up to the compromise that we had come too with semi freedom being offered.

Over the last two and a half years, he has trained me very well. It was clear from the start that he was the one in relationship that called the shots and I was daft enough to obey. He works so hard for me and has allowed me to return to work and live independently again so it is only fair that there is a lot of give and take in the relationship. Learning to compromise in any relationship is essential to be able to hear each other’s needs be it a romantic relationship, family relationship, friendship or a relationship with animals.

If I had a guide dog that totally obeyed my every command out of fear of being disciplined, I would feel utterly heartbroken. He dedicates his life to helping me get around and fills the hearts of people that he meets with pure love and joy, so if he wants to have a little tantrum now and again so be it. We are equal beings with equal needs that need to be heard. If your animal is training you well too, be grateful that he/she feels comfortable enough to ask you. When we learn to listen and let go of control, we learn to love unconditionally.

Time Off For Good Behaviour

Tags

Animals, Dog, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Mobility, Thanks

Do you promise I only have a few more shifts to go until the holidays?

I know that is what he is thinking as I have been promising him this time off for a long time. The beauty of working in schools is that we have a lot of holidays which suits Munch just fine. He was put on this earth for many things such as giving and receiving an abundance of love, being a constant source of entertainment, training people to pander to his needs but work? ……not so much.

Most of his workday is spent laying around on his bed, client’s feet or in a corner in a huff. When he is not in his horizontal hibernation, he can be found playing with his toys, giving a client his paw to demand attention or doing the dying fly impersonation on the floor to centre all attention around his dramatic display. Keeping all of that in mind, I use the word work in the loosest of terms in relation to Munch.

He is even more excited this year as he has an extra week off than our usual 6 weeks so 7 weeks of off duty fun awaits him. When he will be running around freely on a field somewhere or swimming in a river, I will be slightly out of action with a healing knee after the upcoming operation that is happening in 2 weeks-time. I cannot wait to hear from his dog walkers what mischief he gets up to on his days out.

Everything is planned out to make sure that he has the most fun summer ever. A timetable of fun awaits him whilst I may be stuck indoors for a little while. I have a feeling that as he hangs up his harness for a few weeks he will have no regret, only happiness coursing through his body. I cannot wait to sense how happy he is each time he is brought home with a tired-out body and his bank of joy filled up.

Healing from the operation will be much easier if I know everyone is taken care of. The children are all sorted, and I know will be a great help. Angus and Faith will be happy doing their own cat and tortoise thing, but it is Munch who I have been most concerned about. Will he unlearn his guide dog commands when he is off? Will he have a tantrum when his harness goes back om him in a few weeks? Will he demand new working conditions when he returns to his role when I am more mobile?

I know that even when I am on crutches whilst wearing a Robocopesque leg brace, we will learn to listen to each other and work as partners in our own unique way. Munch is rather a fan of the slower pace of life, so I don’t think my new pace of walking will annoy him too much. A pocket full of treats and lots of fuss and praise may help soften his heart when he returns to a slower pace of work life.

I will keep you all posted on his summer escapades which will no doubt bring a smile or two to your face. The harness free pics will hopefully show his fun off duty summer that he deserves so much. Let the fun begin.

When The Mighty Fall

Tags

Animals, Dog, Drama King, Humour, Labradoodle

She calls herself a dedicated maid who loves me so much but here I am having to rely on a supermarket toilet hand dryer to give me the blow dry that I should be receiving everyday as part of my grooming regime.

Do you think it is too late for me to request new staff members who treat me with more respect and appreciate my regal ways? Here she is bringing me to a common place and not even apologising. The untrained eye may see me as just a guide dog and not the King that I really am.

She makes me walk and refuses to carry me because apparently, I am too big. She refuses to give me all her food when I look at her in “that way” with my adorable eyes and only gives me bits whilst muttering “don’t tell anyone form guide dogs or the vet that I am giving you this”.

She makes me shower when I don’t want to. I will swim in rivers and the sea whenever I get a chance, yet she finds it puzzling that I will not walk in the rain. Apparently to the maid it is odd, but I think she is the odd one who expects me to be reasonable with her. I don’t do reason very well. I overheard her once laughing and saying to a friend that she doesn’t think I am trained when it is obvious that SHE is the one that is not trained. I have high standards that she clearly has trouble meeting such as now.

Here I am, King Munch having to rely on a hand dryer to get the blow dry I should be getting daily. Appearance is everything to a handsome fella like me so does she think that daily brushing is enough for the upkeep of my public persona? My telepathic pleas for a permenant personal poodle pamper staff member has fallen on an unreceptive brain so what is a dog to do? The only way to get through to her to demonstrate my needs is obviously to show her although she cannot see. By stepping between her and the hand dryer each time I am hoping that she will get the message that I should have a far more deluxe version at home for my personal usage which I will choose at my convenience.

Could you do me a favour please? If you ever see me lowering my standards and getting blow dried in public could you, please give my maid a nudge to tell her that she needs to install a full doggie grooming parlour in my residence please? Between us we will educate her on my needs as a regal being. Falling from my pedestal is never easy so please send loving thoughts my way until my correct positioning in the hierarchy in the family can commence. Much doggy love sent your way.

When Two Become One

Tags

Animals, Beauty, Dog, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Oneness, Thanks, Unity

When a guide dog meets his/her new working partner, neither of their lives will ever be the same again.

After months of training to become super intelligent guide dogs that will give their time and love unconditionally to their new partners, they begin to weave their magic into the life of their new best friend. The blessed person with sight loss who has been awaiting this guide dog gift day for a long time can begin to attempt to return to some normality of life safe in the knowledge that they have a furry friend helping them. It will be the mix of both of their energies that will create a foundation for the most life changing bond that they will ever experience.

Matching guide dog to partner goes way beyond pairing up the first dog that is available. The needs of the guide dog partner are known and is key in choosing which dog will be suitable. Some matches will not work out and the partnership may be brief, whereas others will last for over 8 years and will create a bond that will never be forgotten. The guide dog will become part of the family, part of the community and most importantly part of the person that walks along their righthand side throughout life.

Guide dogs are far from over worked robots who do nothing but serve the person in their life. They are far more than a pet and far less than a slave. They go places that many animals never get to experience, and they get admired by the onlookers who see their beauty and their worth. They get to put smiles on the faces of people who live in loneliness and feel the love from strangers that surrounds them when they cross their paths. The extended family that the guide dog comes from with the old puppy walkers, trainers and guide dog staff have all had an essential role in helping the dog reach their full potential.

Since Munch came into my life the “I” has ceased and the “we” has begun. His needs are always top priority (along with the children) when I wake in the morning. Creating a happy life for him is key in us being able to work as a partnership throughout our life together. People always see us as a package now and where they see one of us, they expect to see the other. He plays more than he works, and he is pampered and never struggles. My love for him grows each day, and the mischievous imperfections that make him who he is, I hope will keep evolving.

The universe was in cahoots with our souls when it matched us together and for that I will be ever grateful. Being known as the one with “the unusual guide dog”, always makes me smile and my heart fills with joy. Becoming one with this drama loving, chilled out mischief maker means that I get to witness things that I never would have without him. I really hope that you get to become one with a furry or non-furry being in life and appreciate their quirky ways. Merged lives can expand the solitary life that will soon become a distant memory when we trust the oneness of all living beings.

A New Arrival

Tags

Animals, cat, Dog, Sharing, tortoise, Wishes

This may take a while.

How hard can it be introducing a new pet into the family? The moment Munch stepped paw into the house two and a half years ago, he was confronted with Angus my adorable black rescue cat who wouldn’t say boo or meow to a goose. He did however want to say hiss to a great big oaf of a Labradoodle that came hurtling through his front door. A swift swipe of his outstretched paw told Munch that he was being met with a hostility stand off rather than a welcoming committee. That set the tone for the relationship that they have today. Sweet Angus still rules, and Munch just obeys which to be fair is shocking as Angus is the only non-staff members of Munch in the family.

Now we have a new animal on the block in the form of my parent’s adorable tortoise Faith, Her brother Hero is still missing in action having escaped from their garden three weeks ago. The plan is that if he returns form his little jaunt, then he will be coming to join his sister in his new habitat. Introducing Faith to Munch has not been as smoothly as we had imagined though as he is not sure what to make of this odd-looking walking shell. A sniff here and there has only added to his confusion to this non canine like creature.

We have been searching like mad for the best way to introduce a tortoise to mischievous Munch and we are still crossing our fingers that he will soon act nonchalant like he does to everyone else. Apart from squirrels, he never gets this excited over any living being so I am crossing every body part that I have, that his excited barks will soon ease off and be replaced by a silent glance over his shoulder as he watches Faith slowly walk past him on a lazy afternoon stroll. Surely her chilled out attitude in life will speak to his inner sloth and they can become the best of friends.

Until then short bursts of sniffing Faiths new home, alternating access to free runs in the garden and treats for every time he does not bark and try and scare sweet Faith may be the way forward. I am crossing my fingers that I will one day be able to take a picture of Munch, Angus and Faith all being friends as their beautiful soul’s merge into a trio of friends.

A Panini Thief? Where?

Tags

Animals, Dog, Foodie, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle, Sharing

“Well, his official name is Minster as he was sponsored by Lincoln Minster Prep school, but I have nicknamed him Munch”, joked the trainer that had brought this beautiful hairy soul into my life. It wasn’t long before I knew why his nickname had come about.

Led by a typical Labrador stomach, Munch cruised through life hoovering up unwanted food debris with utter dedication to this life path that he had chosen. One of the advantages of being a guide dog was that he could go places that other dogs were not allowed. Working alongside his maid in different schools around the area meant that he had a lot of ground to selflessly cover in relation to removal of food waste. Not a break or dinner time went past that this hard-working soul was not on high alert for removing any food-based slip hazards that the two legged less hairy race could slip on. No corner remained unexplored on his shift.

Just the other day he was faced with preventing an urgent food spillage that was about to happen right before his eyes. As his maid was taking him through the reception area of a school, he spotted a potential health and safety hazard about to occur on his patch. Being the ever-vigilant hero that he is, he knew he had little time and had to act fast. Prevention was always better than cure, so he stepped up to the mark without a second thought for his safety. There in front of him dangling at face height was a chicken tikka panini in a careless hand. Knowing the damage that such a spillage could cause on the carpeted floor he sprang into action and put his own safety on the line. Saving the school cleaner a messy clean-up, he did what any decent citizen would have done and went in for the chomp.

Rescuing the whole panini in his mouth, he stood with pride showing off his heroic skills. The gasps of the astonished people all around him was obviously a shared appreciation of his bravery wasn’t it? As he stood with half of the panini poking lengthways out of his mouth, he pondered how he was going to get the whole lot in his mouth at record speed. It was in that moment that everything changed. Out of nowhere, the cruel hand of the maid came around to remove the mid-air panini part out of his mouth for some strange reason. There he stood, the top food spillage preventor around, being relieved of his duties. How could this be happening?

As he quickly ate the remaining of the chicken tikka panini that was safe in his mouth, he heard a lot of commotion from the two legged less hairy race. The maid was saying sorry a million times for some strange reason and there was a lot of giggling going on around him. As the maid offered to buy the pupil a new panini, he stood in utter amazement that nobody had stopped to thank him. After all those years of perfecting his cleaning up skills, nobody could see that he was just being of service the best he could. What had the world come too when a top dog is no longer celebrated? The mind boggles.

Entering the office in reception a few moments later, he received the standing ovation that he rightly deserved as the three receptionists laughed at his little show. With his helicopter like tail rotating in excitement, he allowed the ladies to come and stroke him. The maid was still rambling on about some “little monkey” that she knew but he did not know what she meant. A quick sniff in the bin under one of the receptionist’s desks gave the ladies in the office the all clear from any potential food disasters. Regardless of the maid carrying on about being embarrassed by that little monkey that she kept harping on about, he went straight back into his professional role. He was not a quitter.

Arriving back in their counselling room with a full belly and job satisfaction, he drank two bowls full of water and settled down for the afternoon. The lack of appreciation from the maid filled him with disappointment. He decided to put her in the doghouse and give her the cold shoulder for the remainder of the day. Withdrawing his love for her he made her beg for his forgiveness to get back in his good books. He is sure he heard her saying something about there being a panini thief around, but he couldn’t be sure. He needed a rest before he had to go and tackle any more crime and prevention.

If you ever need a food spillage expert to come to your area for a major clean-up operation, just give Munch a call. He knows you will appreciate him more than his maid does.

Confessions Of An Eye Rolling Enthuisiast

Tags

Animals, Dog, Drama King, Eye Rolling, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle

To my fellow eye rollers, I am writing this post on your behalf to educate the static eye gang on why the art of eye rolling should be pursued. Now, if we were having this conversation around 60 years ago, us eye rolling enthusiasts may have been called flirts due to the fact that our dramatic eyes were a sign of flirtation, but I can assure you that my eye rolling is usually due to another reason. Well, if there happens to be a nice-looking Labrador in the vicinity (especially light-coloured males), my eyes may do some old-fashioned rolling. In normal circumstances however, my eye rolls are just a visible by-product of wearing my emotions on my adorable face.

Many two legged less hairy beings (aka humans) believe that us dogs do not roll our eyes but let me assure we do. Admittedly, my eye rolling behaviour was non existent before I moved into my maid’s house, but the eye rolls soon began when I realized what I was expected to put up with. After my guide dog graduation in my bright new harness, I was told that I was ready to be a fully working dog. Nobody told me how hard the work was though. I mean, I sometimes must even work up to 2 hours a day in harness. I know what you are thinking, how do I cope? This is where the eye rolling talent comes in as I can let all those around me know that I am not impressed. To be fair, the maid cannot see me rolling my eyes, so I am extra thoughtful to her and just give her loud sighs.

Here are a few situations that you may see me roll my eyes in protest and I know that you will feel my pain and fully support my visual display of distain.

1. When the maid wants me to get out of bed before 7am for her to take me for a walk (which means working).
If, however, one of my favourite dog walkers comes to take me out for a nice walk and free run, I am totally fine with that.

2. If I must go out walking in the rain.
Swimming in lakes and rivers is totally fine with me but not rain.

3. If the maid tells me off for eating Angus’s cat food.
If she wants me to work for her, she must understand I need fuel to function at such high levels that I do.

4. When the maid refuses to go and retrieve the ball that she has thrown when we are playing catch.
I will maybe retrieve the ball for the first three times and take it back to her to throw but then it is up to her to throw and retrieve the ball and attempt everything to get me re-engage in the game.

5. When all the two legged less hairy race complain about my anal exhales.
They have yet to master the art of appreciate the organic aroma that I produce and share with others, they really need to live more by the sharing is caring motto in life.

6. When the maid takes me to clothes shops.
Unless there is a Pet food aisle in a shop, I do not want to be there. Hoovering up stray bits of dog or cat food (I am not fussy) that has fallen on the floor from a ripped bag is me demonstrating my helpful nature. I do not wear clothes so therefore such shops don’t interest me.

7. When playtime ends.
When I am put back in my harness by my maid or on the lead by one of my dog walkers, my eyes will roll in protest. Play and sleep are the only two modes that I can ever be found in and surely, they don’t want me to sleep all day, do they?

8. When I gently take food out of any hand that is at my level and get told off for it.
I am polite and I never snatch. If there is food at my level, it is obvious that they want me to have it as they know that a regal being such as I need to be fed. Apparently, taking food off children is frowned upon. What a stupid rule as they are usually the ones with the tastiest of foods.

9. Having been told off yet again for digging up the flower beds.
I am a dog, I dig, Get over it.

10. When the maid uses that annoying sing song voice and talks to me in a childish voice.
I am far more intelligent than she will ever be so why she talks to me as if I am a baby I will never know. I have trained her and my other staff well and they should know that I should be spoken to like a king.

Eye rolling is just my way of expressing that whatever you are saying or doing is not okay with me. I am Munch and I am an eye rolling enthusiast and always will be until the day that my maid and other staff learn their wrong doings.

Munch’s Day Of Drama

Tags

Animals, Book, Books, Dog, Drama King, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle, Writing

We were all set and ready to go.
There we sat, with one of my favourite authors of all time, ready to be filmed. Munch lay chilled out between his feet and I tried getting comfy and pretended to relax. See, Munch and I have a very different relationship with the camera. He adores all the attention and either gives his best poses or makes the one in charge of the camera work hard to get the shot. I on the other hand shy away from the camera as much as possible.
It was a dream come true as we got ready to be interviewed about my book by the brilliant Dr David R Hamilton. For those of you who have read his fascinating books, you will know that his knowledge of the mind and body connection is mind blowing. The pure passion that he has for his work is infectious and makes you start seeing your life in different way. On of my favourite books of his is The Five Side Effects of Kindness which makes you want to live your life in a whole different way right from the word go. He so generously agreed to endorse my book What You See When You Can’t See, and this interview was the icing on the cake.
The interview started well with David starting with the best opening line ever by saying “You had me at Hello” as he enjoyed the book from the first page. My nerves disappeared and we casually went into a lively conversation about the book. His interviewing techniques were so natural, and the chat flowed with ease until a funny odour began to emerge. Do you know when you think you smell something weird and then as if by innate curiosity you have to breath a bit deeper to check and regret it the instant you do it? Well that happened as soon as I smelt the rancid anal exhale of Munch.
Panic set in and I tried (but failed) to keep a neutral face as my body pleaded with me for some fresh air and I denied it its wishes. I felt so bad for David who just carried on so professionally and unfazed where I was losing my trail of thought as my brain screamed out for some oxygen amongst the green smog of Munch’s insides. Luckily, the cameraman halted the interview for a bit and poor David commented that as he was in the direct line of fire for Munch’s body part it had gone right up his nostrils. Thanks Munch, just thanks. What a way to make an impression.
We also had a pre-launch meeting at the office for book which focussed on possible book translations, media coverage etc which was so fascinating to be in. The work that Hay House Publishing put in behind the scenes is immense. I felt so blessed that these experts in the field oversaw promoting my book. We left the office on a high and minus the incident of singing poor David’s nostrils with Munch’s toxic fart, all had gone fantastic. The rest of the day was surely going to be just as great wasn’t it?
A nice walk in Regent Park in London was a must to let Munch to have a bit of off duty freedom. Walking in the grass he suddenly went limp and couldn’t put any weight on his right front paw. The poor soul began to roll around in the grass in pain and began licking his paw constantly trying to heal in. I was with my friend Steve (who is luckily fully sighted) who checked his paw over to check that there was nothing stick in his paw. We panicked as it looked like it could be an injury of a bone or a ligament, so we knew he needed a vet asap. We had a train to catch in 2 hours-time, so we rang around to get an appointment with a local vet.
As if by magic a local vet had one in an hour and a half’s time which was cutting it a bit fine, but it would have to do. The only issue was the Munch could not walk. Here we were over 200 miles away from home, in the middle of a huge park with a 6 stone Labradoodle needing to get to the vet which was a mile away. This was going to be fun. Uttering the words “we need something on wheels to move him” to Steve started the ball of manifestations rolling. He looked around and saw a Park Warden van in the distance, so he ran over to ask them if they had any ideas. They kindly offered to give us a lift out of the park and to a taxi. Steve carried Munch’s bulky body over the green and into the awaiting van as Munch leisurely took in the sights around him with his head held high. In the van he began whining again in pain. The Park Warden parked next to a taxi and Steve began phase 2 of the moving Munch operation and carried him into the taxi. Phase 3 was completed as he listed Munch from the taxi and into the Vets. Witnessing his pain was horrible.
Luckily as soon as we walked in, I heard the receptionist on the phone tell a client that they had missed their appointment, but they could swap for the time we were booked in for, so we had their appointment. The vet took us into the room and examined him and took him straight down to the treatment room. Ten minutes later, in bounded Munch happy as anything and was ready to take us home. Apparently, something had gone into the hair between the paw pads and made it a bit red. The dramatic rolling around on the grass in pain and whimpering that he was doing throughout, I thought that there may have something far more serious. £90 later and still in time to catch our train, we started out journey home.
I think it is fair to say that wherever Munch is drama will always unfold.