Sight Loss and Parenting

Tags

Beauty, Blind, Children, Disability, Gratitude, Life lessons, Love, Parenting, Peace, Sight Loss, Thanks

Inhaling the heat on the skin and the unwanted scent of illness in the small body, you can use more than eyes to observe illness in a child. The activated response to a smell of a dry nappy becoming wet, alerts you to the need for a swift change. Opening the door to smell if there is petrichor in the air before it starts to rain, lets you know if the children will need coats to keep them dry. When a sudden whiff of Sudocrem joins you in the kitchen, you know you need to follow the trail to confiscate the pot and start the clean up operation on everywhere that you cherub has covered with this villain.

When silence falls in a chatty house, you need to peek to see who’s turn it is being the ringleader in the mischief being caused. When your child’s jangling zip on their boot gets further away from you in the playground, you need to follow the sound to keep them safely in ear shot. When you hear your child’s favourite toy fall, you pinpoint the exact location to reach your hand out to reunite it with its joyful owner. When you hear the whizz of the bike wheels coming towards you, you remind your child that you must always be aware of all oncoming dangers and wait to cross safely. As you hear the squeal of joy escape from their perfectly formed lips, you join their celebration despite not being able to see what is exciting them.

Remembering the different feel of each of their coats, you help put them on the right child for them to go and warmly explore the great outdoors. Differentiating between the pristine feeling lunchbox of one and the scuffed one of the other, you pack their lunchboxes with their personal choices. Touching the top of your child’s head and feeling their unique hair type, you can tell the difference between your children of similar height. Cutting toe nails by touch, you learn to trust your judgement to do what others do by sight. Picking up toys with fingers on high alert, allows you to keep their favourite games together for the next time they want to play.

Knowing that they are going to fall before they do, allows you to be there to catch them. Tuning into the energy of their friends to know which will always make them happy, you are alert to those who will upset them and prepare youself to be there for them when they do. Knowing that you will not make the meeting as you need to be prepared, you are able to act calmly when the phone call from school comes when they have had an injury. Being assertive enough to tell doctors that they are wrong about it being a stomach bug and telling them it is actual a ruptured appendix, you don’t get shocked when they rush your child to theatre as you are just glad they caught it in time.

Memories of raising four beautiful children under the age of six, fills me with love and joy. These wildly different souls who are now adorable young adults, mesmerised me with their abilities as they grew. I may not have been able to see their expression filled faces or the true sweet mischief that they caused but I always saw their unique selves. Eyes only allow us to see what we want to see but other senses allow us to know on a deeper level. Maybe if I was gifted with sight from birth, I may not have known my children as I know them today. As my little cluster of beautiful being’s glide through life in whichever direction they want to take, I hope I can still learn from them each and everyday and see them exactly as they are.

I love you all in every way that you are.

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The Magic Of The Moment

Tags

Alternative, Beauty, Gratitude, Life lessons, Loss, Peace, Thanks, Wishes

As his giggled words “you make a better door than a window” floated through the air to his friends in the park, they all knew what he meant. Just as dense sooty fog obscures the vision of the driver, doors instead of windows allow only imperfect long vision. As necks crane around the seated human in front of them to see into the distance, a feeling of missing out washes over many. When tired blurry eyes loose focus and cannot see with clarity, the haze of the observed objects can be frustrating to the eager eye. Debris from life that ends up in conjunctiva, will always be under the threat of eviction as the owner of the eye tries to remain focussed on resuming normality. Temporary loss of sight is seldom welcomed.

The wave of panic that hits as soon as we lose what we feel what is rightfully ours, immerses us in a feeling of helplessness. A loss of a sense that has worked for us for so long, becomes our enemy as soon as we think it is working against us. We can often forget to thank the abundance of opportunity that the sense has given us in life and go straight into the lack of the moment that we are living in. Patience is a strength that we believe that we often use unless it is in times where it is temporarily not there. When we are so busy focussing on the obstacles that may have sneakily been placed there to push our problem-solving skills, we are forgetting to look at the object with love.

When you cannot see what others can, you learn to imagine what it is they talk about. The frustration that they feel about looking at things that causes them disgust, you feel protective about these things that they disregard. Talking about sights that they see daily but don’t seem to be in awe of, you feel blessed about by being given a chance to enter a world that you have never been in. The wise teachings that the sighted give about the world around us, you take in and memorize the beauty of it all. If disagreements between the sighted occur about what looks the best, you take the best bits and leave the rest as you learn what it must be like to see with clarity.
Next time you see a door when you really want to see a window, thank the person who made such a useful thing. As fog falls all around you, feel the change in atmosphere that nature has blessed upon you. When the person in front of you that is blocking the view irritates you, take a moment to bless that person’s existence as you never know how they may help you of you ever meet again. Tired eyes can always be refreshed so listen to your body’s need to recharge and look later at things through fresh eyes. If debris is an unwanted guest, stop for a moment to think is there a reason that you have been forced to stop what you are doing? Chances are there is a good reason.

If we learn to change the perception of barriers in loss into the discovery of the true beauty in life, we can stop and appreciate what once we disliked. The place to be is always in the moment.

The Magical Month of November

Tags

Beauty, Fireworks, Guide Dog, Meant to be, Patience, Thanks, Worth the wait

With paws on the windowsill and head held high, Munch watched the fireworks with a wagging tail. Unlike most dogs who get anxious around loud bangs, Munch finds happiness in the symbol of celebration that they represent. I have a sneaky feeling that he thinks that they are put on just for him to celebrate his existence. I don’t have the heart to tell him any difference as he looks on nose in the air taking in the glittering glory before him. For me, the time around Guy Fawkes night took on a whole new meaning two years ago just before I was gifted with Munch.
Two years ago, this week, I had the strangest dream about what my guide dog would be like. I dreamt that guide dogs had contacted me to tell me that they had found an ideal match for me and we arranged to meet. Two lovely members of staff excitedly handed me a red, yellow and white bundle and told me that this was my guide dog! It looked like a mixture between Nemo form Finding Nemo and Doodles from the Tweenies. I knew then that I would end up with a unique looking dog that nobody quite knew what breed it was. I was so right.
I was in a firework display with my children around the same time, telling them of my weird dream when a friend I hadn’t seen for a while began to chat. I told her I was currently off work and waiting for a guide dog and she sounded a bit stunned and asked why I needed one. Resisting the temptation to joke I just fancied a pet I could take everywhere with me, I told her I had been registered blind for nearly two years. It felt like I had been slowly drip feeding the people that I knew with his new information in preparation for when they saw me with my NemoDoodles dog. I remember wondering if would this be my last Guy Fawkes night without a guide dog?
Just two weeks later after 17 months of waiting, I got one of the most life changing phone call possible. A voice of an angel (a guide dog employee I knew) told me that she had found a guide dog match for me. The words “I have an odd dog and I thought of you” (she knew me well) sang down the phone to my excited ear and I knew life like I knew it would change for the better. November to me is such a magical month as this is the month that my strange dream brought about my lovely strange Labradoodle.
As I cuddle into Munch as his paws rest the windowsill to support his upright nosy body, I smoother him in kisses of thanks. Two years ago, was the last time I went to a firework display as a non-guide dog owner. If I had known, then that two weeks later I would meet my handsome heart throb I would have had an early celebration as the fireworks whirled and whizzed high above me. Celebrating where we are in life can never be done too prematurely and can keep us in the mood of expectancy. I hope your dreams become a reality in this magical month. Expect the unexpected and sit back and wait for your own NemoDoodles to brighten up your life.

Monster Munch

Tags

Alternative, Beauty, Dog, Guide Dog, Judgemental attitude, Not scary

Many a person has told me that Munch reminds them of either their own dog or a dog that is famous from TV. I remember Sprocket from the 1980’s Children’s programme Fraggle Rock and understand why people make the resemblance between the two.

People have also told us that Munch looks like scruffy dog Alfred from Heartbeat

There have been numerous other likings that Munch has been linked to but as I can’t see what they mean I just take their word for it. There are times however that people comment on his appearance in not such a nice way.

Whilst out shopping a few months ago, we stepped out of a lift and were confronted by a less than happy lady. The words “Arrgghh, I thought I was a gorilla” screamed a lady who was kneeling to get something from a lower shelf. As we passed by, she continued her less than flattering comments to the person that she was with by saying that it was the weirdest and strangest looking dog ever. Obviously, diplomacy was not her strong point, but neither was sensitivity ours. Munch walked on unfazed by her judgement, so I followed his lead and let her carry on in her gorilla survival mode.

There have been many times that young children have leapt out of his way with petrified parents trailing behind as they see Munch approach. Parents in supermarkets shielding their children behind them as this canine cruises by is a common occurrence. I am mindful that not everyone likes dogs and can be scared especially if there has been an incident with one, so I keep him as far as way as possible from people. More than once we have heard the words “shouldn’t be allowed in shops” spoken loudly enough for Martians to hear but he takes it in his horse like stride.

If I had to like Munch to any type of monster I think it would be Sulley from Monster Inc. The big, hairy and scary look may be what non-dog lovers may see but his loving, soft and sensitive side is all that I know. Just like Sulley, as soon as everyone gets to know him they fall in love with his unconditionally loving ways. My little Monster Munch is like so many other misunderstood larger than life beings. Size only really matters if it is coming from a narrow mind. The only thing that this monster could scare away is somebody’s sadness so keep scaring this away Munch and keep fear at bay. We all need a Monster like Munch in our lives just to remind us that judgement says more about us that what is being judged.

Written In The Stars

Tags

Animal, Beauty, Dog, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Love, Numerology, Thanks

Getting preferential treatment is one thing that Munch is good at. It seems that wherever he goes, he manifests a whole entourage of people who pander to his needs and treat him like royalty. Up until now I have thought that it is due to his Labradoodle personality or the fact that he has been pampered and spoilt from birth. It seems however, that there may be more to it than that. When we were told by a Numerologist last week that his way of being was written in the stars, I was intrigued.

Munch being like a magnet for any spare attention, drew in a Numerologist we had briefly met before. He felt the urge to start reading Munch due to his magnetic energy. I love anything alternative and got excited when he started talking about the meaning of his name and what his date of birth said about him. He worked on his name Munch as he is affectionately known and used his birth date of 18^th December as the focal point of his tuning in. The information that he came up with could only have been known by someone who knew Munch well or a stalker, neither of which he matched.

My head nodded, and my mouth gapped open as the reading went on. This is the summary of what I was told about our little Minster Munch. He is as loyal as they come which is so very true. Loyalty in Munch’s world however, does not only relate to me but to anyone with food and can give him masses of fuss which takes us on to the next point. He believes he is the owner of many people and expects them to pander to his every need as he feels he is far greater than ‘just a dog’. His snob like personality (that is so spot on), helps him choose what he does and does not want in life. Hmmmm, has the numerologist been watching his eye rolling and sighing when he is given something below his expected standard?

Stubbornness is all part of his birth date I was told, so it’s not really his fault. Knowing this, it felt much easier to accept that it was not just my imagination that he was stubborn, It was a birth chart involuntary response that made him sit in protest earlier that day on a walk and not the fact that he wanted a taxi or bus home as I originally thought. His dramatic way of life and larger than life personality was his destiny and not the fact that he was spoilt from birth. He was not born to be a shrinking violet and his sense of entitlement was always meant to be.

Apart from all these diva-like qualities that are hard to ignore in him, he also has some of the most loving qualities possible. He is a friend to everyone he meets and loves to spread his joy wherever he goes. His sensitivity taps into people who need it and he has a calming nature that the neediest feel. He knows no fear as his bravery is as strong as can be. Lastly, his intuition should always be trusted as he senses things that we may be oblivious too.

Out of all this spot-on information about him, the nicest thing to hear was that he is happy being a Guide dog. The sense of purpose that he carries through life pleases him. Being of loving service to myself and others he meets along the way, helps to keep his tail wagging on day after day. His perfection that was written in the stars makes me fall deeper in love with him as time goes by. My naughty but nice dog was born just at the right time in just the right way.

Maybe We Could Start Doing It Right

Tags

Beauty, Gratitude, Kindness, Love, Manifest, Unconditional Love

Maybe we are doing it all wrong.
What if we chose to see others as mirrors of ourselves and only spoke words to them that we would want to hear ourselves. If we realized that we were not more or less important than anyone else and just equal to them, then maybe we would learn to see each other fairly. Would we not live in a more positive world if we chose to be more positive to others and received back what we gave out?
What if we chose to speak with kind words or not at all, to those that pass through our lives each day. If we realized that people’s mistakes were part of them being human and not what defines them, would we not encourage people to try again and not feel like failures? Would we not feel empowered by helping others find the power in their own lives instead of taking it away from them?
What if we chose to encourage children to help one another whenever they needed it and helped them build their own community where nothing but support existed. If we explained to children about the power of their words, they would have the knowledge to transform life for themselves and another in such beautiful ways. Would they not feel anything but love from then on?
What if we chose to not judge on appearance but on the authenticity of the person that will never fade with age. If we learnt that our opinions were not the only ones in the world and others are just as valid, we would learn to live alongside not against another. Would we not feel happier in a world that encouraged alternative voices instead of trying to silence them?
What if we chose to see the beauty in difference and not feel threatened enough to attack it. If we stopped our adoration of superficial beauty and learnt to love natural beauty, would we not find more smiles on real faces? Would we not feel more comfortable in a world that appreciated something out of the ordinary that could teach us about things that we may never have known?
What if we chose to be the kindest version of ourselves and nothing else. If we learnt to see the perfection in everyone that we met, we would learn that our perfection is no different just equal. Would we not feel that our lives were full of miracles if we chose to transform the emptiness by filling it with our own version of bliss?
Maybe we could start doing it right.

My Positivity Default Setting

Tags

Beauty, Blind, clarity, Freedom, Gratitude, Happiness, Inspire, Marfan Syndrome, Motivation, Positivity, Sight Loss

Apparently, the world is a place full of disasters, suffering and misery where negativity reigns over the masses and keeps them from living the life that they really want to live. In this place, happiness is only limited to the chosen few and withheld form many. People are blocked from doing what they really want to do by the social constraints that are unfairly forced upon them by people in power and they can never do anything to change this. People in this negative world cannot control which way their life goes as they do not posses all that they need. This place sounds like such a soul-destroying place to live in. I am so glad I live elsewhere.

My alien invasion on this world that others speak of, makes me eternally thankful that my reality is so much different. The world in which I live is full of miracles, blessings and bliss where positivity is available to all to help them achieve the life that they really want to live. In this place, happiness is available to all and withheld from none. People are free to do whatever they want to do by their innate drive to want to succeed and by the support from the people in which they choose to surround themselves by. People in this positive world chose the direction of their life and the thoughts that they think by realising the simple things in life are all that they need to achieve the unachievable. This reality is such a magical place to live in, I am so glad that I live here and wish we all would.

The world in which we all live in, is the same world regardless of how we wish to see it. Choice on our external circumstances may be limited but we always have a multitude of choices available to us on how we perceive our internal reactions to these, it is only our limiting beliefs that close or minds off to living our life to the fullest regardless of the resources we have available to us. Sometimes it is the challenges in life that give us the most positive outcomes, as growth sometimes needs resistance to make it worthwhile.

My life may have never been easy, but I have always been thankful. As my friends in childhood led carefree lives, I was in hospitals for tests, scans and treatments but I never once saw this as unfair. I was thankful that I had the care that I needed. As I had operations over time when others remained scar free, I was thankful that we live in an age where things can be fixed. Loosing the blurry sight that I was born with made me thankful for the other senses that I still had and use to understand the world that others talked about. Experiencing pain from childhood from injuries that most will never experience, makes you thankful that you feel the pain as at least you know you have the gift of life. Being born with a connective tissue disorder that can affect all your body systems makes you feel blessed that you are still alive when others are sadly not.

We always have the choice on how we see the world. Saying to people that I have never seen the negatives in life is never an easy thing as there always seems to be more of them than me. I think that there is always something proactive that we can do about the less than desirable things in life to change it. My positivity default is unlikely to change in a life that has been so kind to me so if I don’t feed into the negativity default of a situation it is not because I do not care. It is the exact opposite. Switching from the negative to the positive default setting is the best way to help another so I am always ready to help flick your switch if you ever need it.

Seeing You Through Perfect Eyes

Tags

Acceptance, Beauty, clarity, Gratitude, Happiness, Love, Sight Loss

I love to watch you go through life doing what you do best. Spreading your infectious joy with those that cross your path, nobody is immune to the sparks of delight that emit from you each day. As you laugh your way through life, life has no choice but to bring you more content for your personal show of happiness that you are always starring in.

When you stop in your tracks when you come across negativity, I know that your presence will diffuse even the most hostile of energies. You have that energy about you that all peace makers possess, and peace destroyers are envious of. You transcend pointless drama is an almost other worldly way, yet remain as grounded as can be.

Even when you are hurt, I know that you know that this is just a temporary state and normality will soon be resumed in your beautiful world. The tears of disappointment only happen because you see the best in life and are sad that the best is absent at that moment in time. Finding the way back to your contented zone will happen as your compassion compass will always guide you there.

Experiencing new things in life keeps you moving forward and will help you learn about things in the world that many people will ignore. As you celebrate the things that have long been forgotten by many, I can see why your soul now feels complete. You have a view on the world that should be taught to all to help them remember the true meaning of life.

Your beauty is a thing that cannot be classified by any language as the words do not exists to explain it. Your head turning beauty is just a bonus to the internal beauty that you have always had and will never leave you. As you choose to do beautiful things in the world, your beauty grows to match your surroundings. Life is what you have made it.

As you make the lives of those around you more enriched by your authenticity, we are all thankful that you came into our lives at exactly the right time. You are the common point of interest in everyone’s diverse lives and for that everyone is thankful. Being your true self rubs off on all those arounds you and brings them closer to their true self.

Being able to see you through imperfect eyes is such an amazing thing to experience. I may not be able to see your physical form, but I can see who you really are. Feeling is believing and as I feel who you really are, I believe that you are nothing but perfect. Seeing when you can’t see is the best thing ever to bypass illusion to see the truth. Keep being you.