Get Yourself A Maid And Get Writing

Tags

Book Deal, Books, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Writing

Here we go again. I am in demand. Being this handsome has its challenges let me tell you.

The fans are now waiting outside the car to stroke me and tell me what a good boy I am. The party that was held for me last Saturday night was obviously not enough of a celebration of my awesomeness. Hang on, there is something wrong here, the less hairy two-legged race want to talk to the maid about something non doggy or book related. Why??
Not even a rub into their legs brings the attention to me from the humans. They must think that a half-hearted stroke whilst still averting their eyes from my direction is suffice in how they should address a dog of my status. Do they not know that I am a Labradoodle and therefore have a regal way of being in the world that needs to be acknowledged? What is the world coming too?

It seems a lot of people locally know about the book that I telepathically conveyed to the maid to write and it has allowed me to have more adoration from the people that have always loved me since laying their eyes on me. The maid has had the odd hello too which she should be happy with. To give her credit, she threw me a lovely party to show people how clever I was to write a book despite being a dog.

It was lovely to see around 70 family and friends turn up to celebrate the release of the book and we even managed to raise £252 in a couple of hours for the Guide Dogs. The maid has planned a few more book signings where she will be also raising money from the sale of the books to give to the Guide Dogs charity to train more dogs like me to help people with sight loss. Well, I say like me but I am obviously one of a kind so they will just have to be the average Guide Dog but hey it will have to do.

I have been eavesdropping on the maid’s conversations and apparently, she decided to write the book not just to highlight how utterly divine I am but also for different reasons She has said that she wanted to write the book to talk about the side of sight loss that is never spoken about, being the positives of not getting caught up in a world where we use only our eyes to look at the world. She also wanted to tell people what it is really like living with Marfan Syndrome that is with you from the day you are born until the day you leave this earth plane. She wanted to write it in a positive narrative which is sometimes missing from some other books like this. She wanted to write a book that helped people change the way that they looked at their own adversity in life and look at it in a different way. Reshaping their thoughts by offering a model to work from and answering questions that they never may have asked themselves, is all done on purpose to interact with the reader throughout the book. My idea therefore of the book just being about how your life changes when you have been Munched (the effect I have on people I meet) has been discarded. Ah well, I suppose I will have to deal with it.

If any of you have ever wanted to write a book and have never had the courage to do it, please do it. If I, a regal Labradoodle can do it so can you. The maid had to physically type away for me as I dictated to her obviously as my chunky paws may have got in the way but together, we did it. Wishing you well on your writing path and if you need a member of staff like I did, so be it. I must dash now as I need to turn these two legged less hairy race non dog lovers in front on me into putty in my paws.

If you want to purchase the book it can be found on Amazon and until October 27th, it is at a reduced price of only £1.99/ $1.99 for the kindle edition on Amazon. Happy reading.

The First Day As Published Authors

Tags

Book Deal, Books, Guide Dogs, Humour

How did we celebrate the first day of being published authors? Hmmmm.

Within 20 minutes of waking up on one of the most memorable days of my life, I found myself on my hands and knees in a puddled pothole that felt like it reached the core of the earth. Whilst not ideal, it was at that precise moment that I found out that my knee operation had worked. Yeess!! After 4 years of multiple full and partial knee dislocations, the moment had come when I discovered that the three-hour operation had worked and my knee had remained in place. Celebrating on my knees in this lake like puddle I really was loving life. Munch on the other hand was not.

I had rudely interrupted his walk by being the klutz that I am. He had tried warning me that there was a puddle there and steered me away, but I didn’t listen to the Lord and Master and ended up needing armbands to keep afloat. As I felt his breath on my face as he came close to see if I was okay, I knew I was in the doghouse. As he looked over each shoulder in turn any onlooker would have thought that he was looking for help which he probably was doing but deep down I knew he was checking to see if anyone had seen my stupendous splash that would ruin his image. He knows a lot of dogs and less hairy two-legged race in the area, so I have a sneaky suspicion that that his looking around was more for his benefit than mine. The loud sighs that he gave as I figured out how to get up confirmed my suspicions.

After careful consideration of how I could get out of the puddle without calling the coastguard, the only option that I had was to crawl sideways like a crab (that is if crabs crawled on their knees) to find the grass edge which I knew was near a fence to reach dry land and re-join the upright community. Munch’s silence spoke volumes as he patiently waited for me to shift it so I could continue with our walk. Unfortunately as soon as I got up I realises that my foot was now demanding attention and directing the attention away from the knee. A hobbled step or two later changed our plans of going for a walk and letting Munch have a run on the field as it was hard to weight bare so we headed home. Even a thousand apologise later, a stroppy Munch would still not warm up to me, so I knew that the day had to be about him.

Whilst waiting for a lift to work, a quick doggy massage, play with some toys and a promise to share my lunch with him later, I knew that his icy approach was thawing as I heard the rotation of his helicopter tail rotate as least twice on the floor so I knew his happiness was returning. A soon as we arrived in work, he was greeted by staff who love him and told him how gorgeous he was which he lapped up and some even grunted a quick hello to me which was nice. The day passed in the blink of an eye and we left school on speaking terms which is always a bonus and went home. The original plan was to have a Munch celebration party for him as he was really the inspiration for the book and was merely his secretary in writing it. We had to change plans yet again that day as I had to pop to the hospital to check my grumpy foot out but on the bright side he got to spend tome with my parents who would spoil him and celebrate his book release with him by giving lots of treats and worshiping at his paws.

Leaving hospital with said grumpy foot which was only sprained and had soft tissue damage (a speciality of mine), I went to get the pampered pooch who had gone for a long run with my father and been fed treats and fanned by my mother who is in love with him. Arriving home, we sat and chatted about the day that he appeared on bookstore shelves around the world. To us it was just a normal day on the surface but deep down it was the start of a new way of life. Telling Munch all the lovely supportive comments that we got from friends and family seemed like preaching to the converted as he has always known how loved and supported, he is. Tipping over to his back with legs contently swaying in the air resuming position for a belly rub, he let the beautiful comments fall on his upside-down floppy ears. I promised to behave better the next morning and remain upright just like a normal person.

This new chapter in our same old lives will bring about many changes which I am so excited to explore together. If you ever want to read more about Munch’s tolerance of my embarrassing ways, there are plenty in our book What You See When You Can’t See which can be found on Amazon and many other bookstores.

The Countdown Begins

Tags

Book Deal, Books, Dreams, Guide Dog, Wishes

There is nothing quite like that feeling of when your first copies of your new book arrive.

After months of communicating with the publishers over cover designs, text fonts, pictures and many other behind the scene preparation for the birth of the book baby, it finally arrives. I admire all who have ever self-published as the work that goes into turning into writer to published author is mind blowing. Luckily for me, Hay House is such an awesome publisher to work with, as the knowledge that they possess about every single detail of publishing is amazing and I feel truly blessed to have been published by them. They have worked tirelessly behind the scenes to give this book the best chance of success.

With endorsements from two of my favourite authors Dr David Hamilton and Robert Holden appearing on both the front and back cover, I already feel full of joy and gratitude that I cannot put into words. When an idea turns into writing that turns into a book, life becomes more than it has ever been before. Stepping foot into the world of literature that will leave your footprint on the world long after your days, is a moreish place that I can imagine that I never want to leave but grow and evolve like many before me. The contagious feeling of creation is one that I hope I will never loose.

Munch has delivered a few author copies books to family members for them to read early. He is beginning to up his diva like demands now as he realises that people will know he is more than just a pretty face as they read what he is really like. He is happy in the knowledge that the aim of this book is to put a smile on the readers face and help them know that whatever they are going through in life that there is always beauty to be found even when it seems that only darkness falls. Munch does not like anyone being down on his watch and he hopes that this will show through in the book.

As these next nine days count down until the book is officially out, we will continue working as a team behind the scenes by doing interviews and promoting it as best we can. Fitting this around our working week is a challenge that is openly accepted and unconditionally loved. We only hope that even if it only puts a smile on one person’s face. it will be worth all the hard work that has gone into it. As September 24th (book birth day) approaches, we will be counting down the number of sleeps until Munch’s face appears on the shelves on bookshops in different countries.

We sincerely hope that whatever idea that you have floating around in your head that you want to create soon manifests into your everyday reality. If you can imagine it, you can do it and there is nothing in this world that can stop you. As we celebrate our exciting time, we wish that all your dreams are also coming true.

The Last Laugh

Tags

Book Deal, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle, Photography

My maid is so easy to train, it’s laughable.

Here we are AGAIN on another photoshoot for a magazine article and she is expecting me to do as I am told. I have been in her life for over two and a half years now and she thinks that I obey her commands. Fair enough, when I am representing guide dogs with my harness on and we are out walking I will do my bit and act like the angelic guide dog that I am. As soon as my harness slips off however, I will return to my strong-willed authentic self. I will only act in ways that I find satisfying to my soul whilst off duty and I have certain conditions that I require to be met. This is especially true when I am asked to pose for photos and the staff don’t get it right first time around. Here are my requests for this photoshoot which I find totally reasonable. What do you think?

– I demand a long run around before the photoshoot to let my hair down. The cheeky maid says it helps relieve some of the mischief, but I just need her to run around after me to let her know that she will always be trailing after her real owner.
– I will only come back on my lead when I am ready and not when she is ready for me. Best thing come to those who wait so I am doing her a favour by making her wait so that she gets the best of me.
– I will send chills of panic down the spine of the maid and the photographer as I flirt with the idea of jumping in the river so that they will only be able to get the soggy doggy look and not the perfect picture that they are after. It was so funny to hear the sheer panic in their voices when they saw me dipping my paws in the river. I am all heart though as I only had a quick paddle before returning to the less hairy two-legged race.
– I work on treats alone. Mere compliments of me being such a good boy falls on deaf ears as I know I am good, so hand the treats over otherwise I will not be so good. I have the training down to a tee so that I will stay put for one treat and then move around for another one so that I am able to get multiple treats in a short space of time whilst the photographer shifts at lightning speed to get the perfect shot.
– I demand that I am always centre stage and if the maid must be in it, I will ensure that I will always look better than her.
– I require that I have ALL the “what a beautiful photo” comments directed at me if the maid is in shot as I am the one that gives the photo the wow factor.
– I will always work to bribes. At the end of each shoot I will require being pandered too and maybe taken for another walk, a play with a ball, have masses of fuss and an extra special treat of the humans forbidden food. If not, I will refuse to partake in another photoshoot ever again.

I must give the maid and photographer credit this time that they did adhere to my demands so it is likely that if I can fit them in for some more in the future if I fancy it.
The most rewarding photo that was taken today however was this last shot that the photographer captured. Just minutes earlier the maid had been lying down by the side of me for a photo of us both and she was not being professional as I and was taking her time to get it right. I thought enough was enough and I let out a few somewhat aromatic anal exhales that I had been keeping in for this perfect moment. She soon hurried up and got the poses right so that she could escape out of shot for some fresh air away from my exploding derriere.

I love having the last laugh.

Are You Talking About Me?

Tags

Book Deal, Guide Dog, Humour, Interviews, Labradoodle, Media

She is at it again. Speaking on my behalf. I am Munch and I am the real owner and should be listened to, not the maid. She may have physically written the book, but it is I who is the inspiration to write the book and its my telepathic abilities that got her to type out my thoughts. Does nobody see this?

I have had interest about the book and interviews coming out of my floppy ears recently and don’t get me started on photos that everyone wants. Being such a handsome Labradoodle is no doddle, it takes a lot of effort to look this good, but I must keep my fans happy, so I am willing to look as gorgeous as possible especially when the media are around.

Last week the maid was interviewed about how I had changed her life and brought spiritual meaning to her by Spirit & Destiny magazine which will be out in January of next year. She did big me up in that interview which I was pleased about and we have just been for some photos to send off to the magazine which shows all my good sides.

Earlier on this week, I had a journalist travel seven hours on trains to come to interview me, but I let the maid do the talking as I casually snoozed curled up on the sofa next to her acting my usual angelic self. The journalist had read my book and the things that the maid had written about my mischievous self were obviously hard for her to believe as I behaved impeccably in front of her. I have a photoshoot with the rest of the staff (or the maid and the rest of the family as they like to be addressed) later this week to accompany this article that will appear in a few weeks in the Femmail section of The Mail.
I have another radio interview scheduled with Hay House Radio the day before my book in released so as you can see. I have been a very busy dog.

Unfortunately, I must rely on the hired help to speak on my behalf and she sometimes tells of funny stories I would rather we forget about. I am using my innocent eyes to try and tell people of my perfection and to ignore the true stories that the maid is saying and try and convince them she is exaggerating but shhhh please don’t tell anyone of my pleading eyes tricks. I will also be acting like the well-trained dog that I am meant to be in front of people which may be difficult to keep this act up for a long time, but I will try my best. I am even planning on listening to what is asked of me and obeying it in front of these important people, but I am not sure if this is a step too far for my innate stubborn self.

My plan is to ensure that everyone will believe that I am as innocent as my face looks, do you think it will work? I have five weeks before the book is out so I will try not to “accidentally borrow” another tennis ball from a shop, do any more dodgy doggy cuddles between strangers legs or be a panini thief in the run up to it to avoid bad press. I solemnly swear to allow Angus to eat some of his cat food and not take it all, keep the eye rolls to a minimum and not run off with another dogs ball for at least another five weeks to ensure that I will only been seen in a good light. Who knows maybe I will decide to write my own book about the maid then to tell of all her naughty ways which would be a good read I promise.

I am just off to perfect my look of innocence. What ever other people say about you just remember your inner angel and let it shine out for all to see.

A Writer’s Flow

Tags

Blogging, Book Deal, Humour, Iamwriting, Motivation, Writing

I am not sure which is worse. Writer’s diarrhoea or writer’s block?

As you may have noticed from any previous posts of mine that you have read, I cannot stop waffling on as my firework mind shoots its contents onto the page. I have always admired the talented writers that keep their focus on one subject and allows a gentle trickle from one point to another to offer the smoothest delivery to the reader. As words offer a tempting bridge between the reader and the writer, it seems impossible to do anything but to merge into the flow of words. These are the ones that I imagine really have their s**t together.

The bunged-up writer who struggles with writing blocks are the ones I really feel for. It must be so hard keeping genius pieces of writing in the creative headspace that they were organically formed in and not know how to create the written mark on paper that will mesmerise the masses for eternity. A writer’s block seems so cruel. I belong to the group of writers’ that do not flow steadily or get blocked but the ones that gush like a waterfall which isn’t always a pretty sight.

Writer’s diarrhoea is a thing that I don’t think any prescription can cure. If you are a divergent thinker like me, you know what it is like to go from a to b via x, y, z, around the planet, break the sound barrier and return to your destination via teleportation. Sound familiar? Join the club. In this writer’s runs club, it tends to get a little messy if you loose focus on your original point but if you leave any of your gazillion thoughts out for the reader to try and figure out, it feels like you are letting the whole story down. If you suffer from this leaky ailment try and surround yourself by people who can help mop up.

My angelic mopper upper came into my life in the form of my editor for my book that is due to be released in September. This pillar of sensibility has not only reined in my partying mind, but this genius has been able to make sense of my rambling words and made them flow like a proper writer. What a true miracle worker. The final edit is almost complete thanks to her patience, knowledge and Midas touch and I sit back feeling truly blessed.

Having a touch of writer’s runs means that you cannot easily cut off, so you have a surplus of ideas that need to be channelled somewhere. My ‘somewhere’ just happens to be into another book that I have just finished writing. I didn’t really mean for it to turn into another book, it just kind of happened. From nearly 60,000 words which flowed out over the last three months, I have a fully formed manuscript that I need to tackle the basic edit of which should be fun as I can’t even remember everything I have written.

Whatever group of writers that you belong to, the result is always the same. Our own unique relationship with our work comes out whenever it is ready, and the flow is perfect for us. Nobody’s way of writing is better than another way, it is just our way. If you get there in the end, you are a success.
Keep writing your own way.

The Power Of Books

Tags

Author, Book Deal, Book Review, Kindness, Motivation, Writing

There are some people who you can sit and listen to for hours on end and still crave more. Dr David Hamilton is one of these people. It was my third time at one of his talks but Munch’s first and I think it is safe to say he enjoyed as much as the rest of us, His enjoyment was enhanced even more by the fuss and attention that he got from a lot of the audience members and the author himself. Subtlety has never been his strong point.

If you have never read one of David Hamilton’s books, let me assure you they are well worth a read. One of my favourite books by him is The Five Side Effects Of Kindness. This is an audiobook that I love to dip into for a feel-good factor. The book focusses on the health benefits of kindness from lowered blood pressure to slowing down the ageing process by reducing wrinkles. The former chemist really knows his stuff and presents research findings on the subject in an easily understandable format.

His other books include How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body, I Love Me, Why Kindness Is Good for You and The Contagious Power of Thinking to name but a few. All these books that I have binge listened to help to understand the correlation between the mind body relationship and owning our own choice of behaviours. To me, such books are music to my ears as they speak of concepts that I have always been aware of even from a young age. The coming home feeling that these books give always excites me.

The books we seek to read and the films that we choose to watch, are reflections of parts of us that will always wants company. We are what we read, write, watch and listen to, so making good choices in these is key to a happy life. Feel good influences will always be more beneficial than seeking out the doom and gloom in life. I don’t think anyone in history has ever complained that their life is too happy, as they have chosen to make it so by surrounding themselves with inspiration.

Munch may be seeing more of David Hamilton in the future as our book that is out next year is being published by Hay House which is the same publishing company as his. Becoming part of such a positively influential company feels such a privilege. It is weird to think that from next year onwards Munch may be at his own book events and taking centre stage. I cannot wait to see who we will meet along the way.

Things Happen For A Reason

Tags

Animal, Blind, Book Deal, Dog, Happiness, Hay House, Inspire, Love, Meaning of lIfe, Motivation, Positivity, Things Happen For A Reason, Writing

Giving thanks to failures and challenges in my life has never been as powerful as it is today Kissing the closed doors that have shut in my face and celebrating all my body parts that don’t function as well as a ‘healthy’ body, I can’t wait for magical days ahead of me that are waiting to be lived. If I was given the opportunity to have born with perfect sight, I would have turned it down. These things have all happened for a reason.

If my sight had not gone from bad to laughable, I would not have met my furry soul mate Munch and we would not have been about to embark on a very exciting time together. If he wasn’t born with not only the ideal temperament of an amazing Guide Dog but also the personality of a star, I would not have started this blog. A personality such as his needs to be shared to show that dogs are not just possessions that owners keep but equal beings that enhance life of the less hairy friends they end up living with.

The love of reading books was challenged many years ago when I stopped being able to read them. Isn’t the only option left then in such a situation, to write them instead to keep this love affair alive? It is this love of the written word that I have never seen clearly, that motivated me to attend a writer’s workshop 6 months ago. As Munch got lots of new beautiful admirers, I got lots of new ideas. A competition to win a book deal with one of the world’s leading publishers was offered to one lucky winner. As I scribbled down words that I could not see to look like I fitted in, I felt like an imposter in a room full of professionals.

Never one to pass up a challenge, I thought I may as well submit something and worked on a proposal for 3 months only to change my mind on the subject. As Munch lay his head on my lap during a meditation one night I knew that the book should be about him and his beauty. Relying on narration on the laptop to write the blurry words, we didn’t have long to chuck something together and make it look something like a few chapters.

Without all of things happening for a reason, we would not be about to start a whole new way of life. As the voice of an angel phoned me the day before the official date of the winner being announced to tell us we had won the competition, I thanked the universe for giving me a life full of luck. Three days on, I am still checking the video of the announcement on the official Hay House page to check that this is not just a long day dream. Why would they have picked this book proposal out of so many talented writers with books that people need to read.

Over the last 17 years, I have become a Hay House groupie. I have many of their books that I cannot read but bought to pass on to others who need them. Oracle cards line the shelves in my bedroom and I have their logo on Vision boards of things that make me happy. I have been to many of their workshops and seminars because they have people who you cannot help but love. These true earth angels spread messages that gives people hope and motivation to change the way people think and live. They are here for a reason.

I believe the reason that I was born with a connective tissue disorder was to be able to feel whole even in an imperfect body. The reason that I was partially sighted form birth was that it allowed me to see the world in a different way than many. The reason that Munch came into my life was to teach me it was now okay to tell the world that I could not see after pretending I could for the last 38 years of my life. The reason that all these things happened was to be able to have a story to write that helps people see the beauty in difference.

Things happen for a reason that we may not realize. When we think we are suffering, we are making room for better things. When we suffer physical pain, we are reminded of how precious health is. When we lose the ability to do something, we gain the ability to live life in a whole different way. When we think we are not good enough at something in life we are admiring the perfection in another person that exists within us that we need to wake up.

As Munch and I enter a dreamlike reality, we really hope that you find yours too and are just as ecstatic as we are with your new lives. I feel so blessed that such an amazing publisher is interested in my writing that has been inspired by Munch and countless other two-legged beings. Keep focussed on your dreams. Miracles really do happen.