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The Sniff Of Approval

12 Sunday Dec 2021

Posted by thesecretblind in unconditional love, animal, guide dog,

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

Acceptance, Animal and children, Awareness, Blind, Blindness, Connect, Counselling, Diversity, Dog, Education, Equality, Free spirit, Guide Dog, Munch, Non Judgement, Pet Therapy, Visual Impairement

Going to counselling for the very first time can create a mixture of feelings. From nervousness to relief, most people will feel something about what lies behind the counselling door. Most people however, will not expect to be sniffed and may be a little perplexed when they are met with a friendly dog who has no personal space boundaries and happily sniffs them to analyse their whole entire life.

Munch’s initial sniff of approval will first tell him if of course they are “one of his people”. If said person enters the room with a hint of Suzi the Schnauzer scent on them, he knows they will be best friends forever. Anyone who loves dogs in his eyes, is a trustworthy person. To be fair, he accepts cat people too but may not go and get his toy to offer them a game of fetch as he knows that feline friendliness operates on a totally different level.

A quick sniff of their bag, will determine whether there is a chance they can bond over the love of food. The beauty of working in schools means that lots of young people carry food with them and therefore the cupboard love will begin from the first nostril full of beef crisps. In all honestly, he is a little more partial to the meat eater clients taste palate as he gets far too bored with his maid’s vegan one. Chicken will always be preferred over cucumber. He has tried to convince her to bring a far more exciting lunch to work each day but she stubbornly refuses. Sigh, you just can’t get the staff these days.

The mud lovers in life also come top in his favourite type of people as they are seen as the fun ones who would play with him outdoors. A sniff of a sweaty sports kits tells him that these are good friends to go on free runs with. They may not want to chase squirrels up trees with him but at least they would be more energetic than his maid he is stuck with. Despite the fact they are there for counselling, he will have ideas in his head that they have come to pick him up for a play date.

When tears begin to fall from their eyes, he is the first one there to catch them as they fall. He gives his doggy kisses to shaking hands and a gentle paw in their hand to know they are not alone. He smells unhappiness and won’t leave their side until they want him to as he snuggles in beside them. He sniffs cut knees through their trousers and unless stopped will try to lick them until they heal. He sniffs out emotions along with everything else , to tell him what is really going on with the clients.

He may not be a trained therapy dog but he is therapeutically active in each session. Guide Dogs chose him to become a Guide Dog due to his loving and clever temperament which has in turn given him the opportunity to meet people who need him in their lives. This friendly scruffy face they meet each week, always accepts them and has been there for them since they received his sniff of approval. Luckily they are all pre warned that there is a dog in the room before they come , to give them the option of having a dog free counsellor if they wish.

The sniff test is not part of the assessment for counselling don’t worry. The patient clients who choose to work with an over friendly dog who is best friends with everyone, are so lovely. They allow him to be Munchlike in the room and still accept him just the same. The sniff of approval does go a little unbalanced however when he gets a little over excited and let’s out a rather noxious anal exhale and fills the room with green smog. The clients are so brave to come back into the room a week after such events but they do.

Dogs always know far more about a person upon meeting them then other humans ever will.

The Deception Of Looks

06 Sunday Dec 2020

Posted by thesecretblind in Disability

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Acceptance, Acts of Kindness, Animal and children, Appearance, Blessings, Blind, Childrens Acceptance, Diversity, Earth Angels, Gratitude, Hidden Disability

I know what you are thinking. It is a Yeti croissant but no, you would be wrong!

That is the thing with assuming with our eyes, we never really get it right no matter how hard we try. We can never utterly understand what our eyes are tricking us into believing, as we only really see one perspective of an object that fits in with our world belief. Being led around by my hairy soul mate Munch lets people think that he is working for me, whereas anyone who knows him will know that I really work for him. Leading me to a place we need to go, results in a treat or two being eagerly hoovered up and me giving him at least a ten-minute worshipping ritual, telling him how he is the best living being ever in the world. We have found our power balance in our relationship and let us just say it is far from equal. Anyone with a Labradoodle knows that the power always lays with them and never with us.

The deception of looks alone has led us to many a faux pas in our four years together. From being mistaken as  Munch’s trainer as I “didn’t look blind enough to have a Guide Dog” (???) to being asked where my collection bucket was for the imaginary  fundraising collection someone though I  was doing as a fully sighted person with a Guide Dog,  assumptions can be wrong. Assuming Munch’s innocent face is incapable of being one of the world’s most notorious ball thief, is also another misconception. Maybe now is not the time to go into his known alias of “Good Boy” that everyone calls him when really, one of my friends knows him as the Pasty Thief that gently and lovingly alighted a pasty from her three year old daughters hand just as it was about to be transported to her mouth. A swift pasty replacement later and all was forgiven but the name has still stuck.

For me, one of the most infuriating misconceptions in the world today is when people criticize the “youth of today” from the narrative of the media alone without enough experience to make up their own minds about judging a whole section of society. Admittedly, I am slightly biased having worked with children and young people for the last twenty-six years on and off, but at least I have a privileged insight into their world. Working in schools with a Guide Dog brings with it many comments being directly and indirectly aimed at me. Some are hilarious, some are tactful, whilst others are said filter free but I for one love variety, so all are welcomed. There are times however that are heart melting such as the one  that happened last week.

Asking Munch to “find the steps” for us to lead us to our room, he quickened the pace before stopping at the end of the steps for my foot to find our starting point. Having the fuzzy triple visioned blurry light colour ahead of us seemingly reaching up to the heavens (which the sighted call stairs), we began climbing. I was aware of two pairs of footsteps ahead of me going in the same direction and held back a little for us not to get in their way. Mid climb, one pair of light footsteps stopped and began coming back down. Just as we were about to move to the side to let the lively feet and attached body to pass us, they stopped just in front of us. A sweet-sounding teenage boy seemed to lean towards us and ask, “Excuse me, do you need any help at all?”

It took me a while to wonder why he  would ask if I needed help? I began to wonder if I was walking in the wrong direction into a forbidden part of the school  or if something horrible had attached to me on our way up the stairs when I remembered I couldn’t see and had a Guide Dog with me. I know it sounds weird but if you have never been able to see clearly from birth and everything is always a blur, you know no different and it is never really an issue. This is my world where I forget I cannot see as I have never know any different. It is when I am totally oblivious to the fact that it is a disability, there is always a gentle reminder that appears to remind me that it is. When I walk with Munch by my left hand side, I totally forget he is a Guide Dog as I chatter away to him asking him to turn left or right or find doors and objects whilst praising him as we go. The problem when you have sight loss living in a sighted world is that you sometimes forget that people can see.

When my brain finally caught up with what the sweet boy meant, my heart melted. He must have seen someone with an obvious disability (even though I was too away with the fairies to remember I had one myself) and took time out of his day to ask if there was anyway he could help. He did it so discreetly, lowering his  tone not to draw attention which in itself showed what kind hearted soul he really was. I thanked him a lot for stopping to ask  but said we were fine. As he went on his way he told me to take care which I wished him back as my smile widened. There are more Earth Angels around us than we realized. This seemingly small interaction between a teenager from the Sighted world and a grandmother from the Sight Loss world spoke volumes about the world we live it.

To him, his kindness was a natural part of his being  . To me, his kindness was a gift that will get him so far in life that I hope his Karmic bank overflows. He saw me with a disability where I may have needed a bit of assistance. Whereas I saw myself as fully able bodied . We were both 100 % right  in that situation in our own ways. I hope that he always has someone around to help him if he ever needs it.

What You See When You Can’t See

03 Sunday Feb 2019

Posted by thesecretblind in Blind, Sight Loss

≈ 29 Comments

Tags

Acceptance, Alternative, Blogging, Diversity, Education, Kindness, Photography

The following post relates to the above picture that was shared numerous times on social media which questioned if the lady was indeed visually impaired

What you see when you can’t see?
You see a blurred picture apparently showing a woman walking with a white cane in one hand and a phone in another. You see blurry squiggles on the laptop screen that the narrator reads out to you. You see the images from the spoken word forming in your mind and creating the picture that everyone is talking about. You see the innocence of the woman walking along carrying on with her life unaware that she is being watched. You see the courage that she has taken to learn the new skill of walking with a cane through mobility training that she now must use to carry on living independently. You see that now she uses a white cane; her disability is on display for others to judge.

You see that that the person who posted this did not do so out of kindness but out of ignorance. You see the person who did this has enough functional vision to be able to judge in appearance without a care about the persons feelings. You see that the person who posted this image on social media to entice others to join in the judgement does not understand the impact of doing such things has on people. You see the negative comments that people make is just an insensitive epidemic that could do with some educating in certain areas.

You see people’s emotions getting hurt when they talk about things that they know very little about. You see people hating on the haters instead of helping them think in different ways. You see people who once judged on appearance now listen to knowledge that they did not know and change from judgement to acceptance. You see sighted people understand what it is like to live with sight loss and that they too can use technology designed for people who aren’t blessed with perfect vision.

You see people from both the sighted and insightful communities coming together to talk about what sight loss is and what it isn’t.
You see separation change to oneness when people whether sighted or with sight loss learn to see each other as more than the labels that they carry around with them. You see that people begin to feel more open talking about the world that they know little about. You see that when knowledge becomes power then ignorance becomes obsolete. You see that the picture that was taken said everything about the misunderstanding of what sight loss is and nothing about the courageous woman pictured who could teach many a thing or two about living life successfully.
Sometimes it is easier to see the true beauty in life when you use more than your eyes to see.

Every Difference Has A Silver Lining

17 Sunday Jun 2018

Posted by thesecretblind in Gratitude, Motivation

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

Diversity, Gratitude, Happiness, Individuality, Inspire, Judgement, Kindness, Meaning of lIfe, Motivation, Positivity, Unique

If you ever find yourself feeling different to those around you, be thankful that by breaking the mould you have found freedom to be yourself.

If you ever find yourself feeling separated from those around you, be thankful that you have created the space to discover new things in the unknown.

If you ever find yourself thinking outside of the box, be thankful that you can now free yourself from constraints and enjoy as you expand into the world that you have yet to meet.

If you ever find yourself feeling like you are alone in the world, be thankful that you are at exactly the right place in your life to find your tribe of people who are waiting for you.

If you ever find yourself feeling like you are not perfect, be thankful that you realize that you are human and that your own perfection comes from being the best that you can.

If you ever find yourself feeling low, be thankful that you have had highs in your life to measure this against and know that life is full of ups and downs.

If you ever find yourself faced with adversity, be thankful that it is through adversity that many successful people have lived and you know that this is just a slippery stepping stone to your own success.

Finding the silver lining in every cloud can be a challenge if we choose to focus on only the cloud that hangs over us without thanking the cloud for being there in the first place. It is the polarities in life that allows us to live a life that is far from static. How can we ever grow if we remain the same? Choosing to see the positives in a situation will be far less draining than focussing on the negatives that zap our energies even more.

The good thing about feeling different to those around you is that you do not have to live by the similarities that bind them together. You do not have to live by the rules that keep them a prisoner to society’s expectations. You also do not have to act in a way that feels unauthentic.

If you ever find yourself feeling like you, be thankful that the beauty in your difference is exactly what the world needs.

New Opportunities For The Same Old Souls

13 Wednesday Jun 2018

Posted by thesecretblind in Book Deal, Gratitude, Guide Dog

≈ 17 Comments

Tags

Animal, Diversity, Dog, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Happiness, Humour, Individuality, Love, Unique, Writing

I often wonder why the trainer paired Munch and I up together as they always try and match the personality of the Guide Dog with that of the Guide Dog user. Hmmm, So the question that needs to be asked is “am I really as bad as Munch”? The only animal that I have ever worked with is Munch and I admit, things don’t always go as planned with him. When Munch turns into on duty Minster, he can act a little bit more like a trained dog, but I never hold out too much expectation for him. If he does behave it is a bonus and if he doesn’t, it just is what it is.

We were recently invited to take part in an interview with a friend of mine who has also written a book and is an amazing entrepreneur. He is the founder of the fantastic Warriors of Peace network that we belong too which he set up to bring like minded individuals together to provide a team of people who offer their services in a spiritually conscious way. He asked for an interview with Munch and I to talk about landing the book deal that we have been offered and to talk about the process that we went through so that it can help other inspiring writers to get published. I was a little nervous about the interview, not just because I am not a fan of any type of camera but also because I know how my little Munch is a master at doing everything that I don’t want him to do. Stupidly however, we agreed and set off for the interview with every possible body part crossed in hope that our authentic comedy act would remain hidden from the normal people in life that would be viewing it. I obviously did not cross things hard enough.

As I persuaded my ever optimist self that Munch would just chill quietly in the background, I took him off his harness as soon as we arrived at my friend’s house. I stupidly thought that he would sit down quietly like any normal dog. I forgot that normal offended him. As we settled down and began the interview, he moved with purpose around the room, looking for any opportunity to cause mass destruction. As he had never been to the house before and could smell the dogs that lived there, he took on an imaginary sniffer dog role to seek out possible new partners in crime. His scratching around, sniffing every object possible and whining provided the tranquil background music that would please any dog lover.

To keep him company in his unprofessional manner, I thought being my authentic self was the best option until I remembered that it probably wasn’t. I am proud to be Welsh but to be fair my accent is not one of the most camera-friendly ones around. Team that with my total lack of correct use of grammar and you can imagine the frustration of the viewer watching it. From a land that thinks phrases such as “Who’s coat is this jacket” and “I will be there now in a minute” being perfectly acceptable to us, turning up to an interview having not rehearsed using correct language was asking for trouble.

As Munch created distractions in the background and I chatted away in my own version of a coherent language, my poor friend held the interview together amazingly. I think he would have preferred a roomful of excited pups and two-year-old tornados ripping through the room as he probably would have got more sense bless him. Towards the end of the interview, Munch went and flopped down by the door in protest to having his right to free roaming taken away from him. He was not impressed. We really don’t make things easy for people.

We have just volunteered to start speaking to different groups in the community about the amazing work that Guide Dogs do. With the combination of the pair of us doing things our own unique way, I do wonder however how it is going to go. We also have been asked to facilitate a section of a workshop later in the year, but I do wonder if the public are ready for such an odd pair. I don’t think we were put on this earth to demonstrate perfection. We could both attempt to change to fit in with the more ordinary people in society but where would the fun be in that? Wearing a false mask sounds sheer pain to me and I know that Munch feels the same, so I think we will just continue being who we are and doing the things that we really should try and avoid.

If you ever overhear somebody talking about a Diva Guide Dog with attitude and a weird sounding Welsh grandmother who induces melt downs in the grammar police population, it is probably us. We really don’t mean to annoy you, it is just us being us. Sorry about that.

The Questioning Child

10 Sunday Jun 2018

Posted by thesecretblind in Diversity, Guide Dog, Shopping

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Animal, Children, Childrens Acceptance, Diversity, Dog, Food, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Happiness, Humour, Individuality, Inspire, Kindness, Love, Pets, Positivity

The common sense seeking scenarios that go on in a child’s mind is anything but boring. For children to develop schemas for the world that they live in, they need to explore and question everything. As all parents or those who work with children know, young children across the land get fixated on the why, how and when’s of anything from why they can’t keep a giraffe in their bedroom to when they can start their own second hand tooth business. Lulls in bizarre questions never last. Throw an animal with a funny looking thing on his back into the mix and the questions get a whole lot more …. entertaining.

Our shopping trips consist of far more than just buying things. We usually get stopped and asked questions about Munch, whilst Munch tries his best to distract shoppers despite apparently being trained not too. Munch takes me to his favourites aisles first before I can carry on with my shopping and whilst doing this, we carry out our obligation to provide a prompt for some inquisitive questions from children being fired at their poor worn out parents. As Munch leads me around the shop, our ears burn as we are being talked about by curious children. I feel sorry for the parents left to search for the answers, but I just love that momentary insights into the workings of a child mind. There have been some hilarious questions asked by these innocent minds.

A few weeks ago, as we were walking towards the toilets in a shop, I heard a little boy ask his father “Daddy, will that dog be able to pee in the toilet when he stands up?”. As we disappeared around the corner the voice of the father trailed off after he replied “No, it is the lady who is going to the toilet not the dog and..”. I would have loved to hear what came after the and. I laughed so hard as an image of Munch standing up on his two back legs and aiming for the porcelain came into my mind. To be fair, it was a valid question that he had.

His doggy bits have been discussed by kids behind our backs more than once. Just last week, a little boy walking behind us asked at the top of his voice “How can that dog sit down without any bum cheeks?”. Again, a good question from a bright mind. We once got stopped by an authoritative looking boy and girl whilst coming through a shop door where they swiftly told us that you could not bring a dog into a shop. When I explained he was a special dog that helps me see I was quizzed on why I needed him as I had my own eyes, they were not satisfied with my response when I couldn’t stifle a giggle any longer. After they had asked me why I couldn’t see well, does he get paid to work for me and is the thing on his back a coat that has gone too small for him (his harness) we were allowed past as their apologetic mother steered them out of the way whilst apologising profusely. I assured her we enjoyed the questioning from such bright minds and thought it was sweet. I really love how children’s minds work.

My gorgeous granddaughter is one of Munch’s best friends. He gets so excited when he sees her and as she is around the same size as him, they physically see the world through similar eyes at their level. She has the same serene chilled out energy as him and both love company and attention. They understand each other on such a special level. She offers to give him her potty which he kindly declines. They share the same love for food which she always offers whatever she is eating. He usually accepts. If she cries after a fall, he comes running to see if she is ok and rubs his head into her and gives her his paw to give her the healing that she needs. When she sleeps over our house, Munch and Angus the cat are the first ones she calls to check if they are ok and he runs up to her to say hello. They reflect each other’s loving selves perfectly. She rarely questions anything about him as my Guide Dog to her is normal as she has grown up knowing no different.

I love hearing children questioning the world that they live in whilst others innately know the answers as they live with the answers every day. Children need to question to learn about the world around them and the peculiar sights that they have never seen before. Accepting diversity in the world can only happen when the unknown becomes known. Answering the questions of children can help them embrace difference and make them a normality. A win win situation for all.

Different Gold Dust For The Night

03 Sunday Jun 2018

Posted by thesecretblind in Acts of Kindness, Blind, Guide Dog

≈ 30 Comments

Tags

Acts of Kindness, Animal, Diversity, Guide Dog, Happiness, Inspire, Kindness, Love, Meaning of lIfe, Motivation, Pets, Positivity, Unique

As his head hit the cushion and I tip toed out of the room, I felt a pang of guilt shout out in the silence. Not one to be happy in his own company, I hoped he would not feel lonely whilst I was out enjoying myself. Munch would not be alone as he had my father and my son pandering to the pampered pooch’s needs, but I still felt uneasy about leaving my partner in crime. We had merged into one over the last 18 months and it was strange to be leaving behind my extra limb at home whilst I was going out all day and night. A night cwtched up on the cuddle chair would be a far better option for him though than parading around pubs, causing a trail of fuss wherever he went.

Leaving your Guide Dog behind is a big thing when you become so reliant on them not only as a safety net but more importantly, as a piece of you. Choosing not to take my less appealing looking cane (or weapon of blindness as it is also known), I would use my amazing friends to dodge the dangers that lay ahead. There is a time and a place for Munch, my cane or my family and friends and now was the time for my friends. I love spending time with my friends who make me so happy with their unique, comical and loving ways and the ways that they go from compassions to urine extracting in milliseconds. They are true gold dust.

Over the loud music, different voices at different times shouted in my ears “watch the step”, “turn left”, “the sink is here” and other welcomed auditory descriptions. We got through the night accident free. As kind hands passed me my drinks that I could not see on the table in front of us, I appreciated them more and more. Descriptions of the scenes around us really made me feel that I belonged to a world that I grew up feeling separated from. As I searched my memory banks to match up names of friends of friends to their voices, I totally forgot again that I couldn’t see. With so much valued sensory input going in, I didn’t need vision to let me see. I truly love these people so much as their selfless ways make the difference between feeling isolated and feeling wanted.

As we celebrated my beautiful friends 30th birthday, my feeling of guilt from leaving Munch disappeared. He needed the well-deserved time off from his dedication to his work that he has. Giving thanks to him and my friends and family for their compassion cannot be expressed enough by words alone. By innately doing relative small acts of kindness, they make such a huge different to my life. I hope one day to be able to pay them back tenfold for their loving ways. Their karmic banks are really beginning to overflow.

Acts of kindness do not need be huge to be life changing, they just need to be authentic. Gifts are only valuable if their true value is more than the cost. Empowering another person will always mean more than trying to rescue someone who is not ready for the help. You may never truly know the positive impact that you make on someone’s life, but know that you will be the gold dust that will never be forgotten.

Finding Life Purpose in Adversity

20 Sunday May 2018

Posted by thesecretblind in Diversity, Life Purpose

≈ 26 Comments

Tags

Diversity, Equal Opportunities, Happiness, Individuality, Inspire, Kindness, Life Purpose, Love, Meaning of lIfe, Positivity

If Louis Braille had chosen to accept he could not read or write, blind and partially sighted people may have remained isolated from the written word. Sign language as we know it today may never have been developed if Juan Pablo Bonet and other founders had waited around for someone else to publish a text for an alternative form of communication. If Stephen Hawking had feared ALS and focussed on its limits, he would not have contributed so greatly to the world of science through his life-long dedication to research.

Temple Grandin chose to use the beauty of her autism, to become an inspiring lead in the field of psychology and agriculture and has helped raise positive awareness towards disability. It was Viktor Franklins search for meaning that got him through the darkest of times and it was this determination that helped him devise Logotherapy. Had Nick Vujicic been born with limbs, he may not have become one of the worlds leading motivational speakers today inspiring millions.

A world without the Paralympics may restrict people’s idea of what people with disabilities are capable of. Without models with Down Syndrome and amputees now gracing the catwalk with their natural beauty, an archaic view on beauty would still exist. If campaigners had not fought a discriminative system, Equal Opportunity legislation would not exist today.

A life without adversity, can be a futile environment if you are struggling to find your true-life purpose. Many breeze through life without any hurdles yet never seem to discover their life purpose. Then there are the Midas magicians that use their adversity to make these hurdles disappear and their life purpose finds them. As these Midas magicians go through life, they choose to find purpose where others may see misery. Life becomes more precious if you know that it can change in an instant.

The difference in suffering and living your life on purpose, can be from thought alone. One person’s adversity can be another person’s drive. Inspirational people are not born with a magic wand, they develop a magical way of living through the way that they choose to see the world. Living with a disability, health condition or in adverse circumstances can make you question life on a much deeper level than many will ever experience. It is here in the realm of questioning that the true meaning of life can be found.

Finding out your own life purpose can come about in the strangest of ways or it may remain hidden for years. Even in adversity there is beauty to be found by those who wish to look. There are few circumstances in life that are too big to be fought through to create the change that you wish to see. Finding your own life purpose will be the greatest gift to yourself and to the world. So, what will yours be?

I Do Not Care About That But I Do Care About You

02 Wednesday May 2018

Posted by thesecretblind in Blind, Sight Loss, Unconditional Love

≈ 289 Comments

Tags

Blind, Diversity, Happiness, Individuality, Judgement, Kindness, Love, Positivity, Unconditional Love

I do not care if your eyebrows are not on fleek. I do not care if the spot that you think is huge, is there. I do not care if you have dribbled mayonnaise all over your top from your lunch. I do not care that you have some spinach between your teeth. I do not care that you wore the same top to go out for the fifth time in a row. I do not care that your body is a different body than what it was twenty years ago. I do not care that your roots are showing through. I do not care that your appearance to the outside world is not always perfect.

I do care that you are healthy. I do care that when you look in the mirror you like what you see. I do care that you wear clothes to impress yourself not others. I do care that when you smile it is real. I do care that your body is as well as you can make it. I do care that over the years you have grown into the person that you have always wanted to be. I do care that you know that your beauty comes from your soul. I do care that the outside world sees you for who you truly are.

Seeing is not always believing. For me, sight loss has meant insight gains. The beauty of a person goes deeper than the body that they dwell in. I don’t know what society’s perfection looks like as I have never been able to properly see. I can tell you though what a beautiful person is like. A beautiful person is loving. A beautiful person is kind. A beautiful person is empathic. A beautiful person is wise. A beautiful person is compassionate. A beautiful person is altruistic. A beautiful person exists within every one of 7 billion people that are in this world.

I care that although life gets tough, you realize that life will not always be like this. I care that you realize how much of a positive impact you have on others in your life. I care that you inspire others to reach their happy zone. I care that you are you. I care that without functional vision I can still see you. I care that I am not the only one that can see past the spot on your face that has natural eyebrows and appreciate the spinach between your teeth. I care that we can see past your mayonnaise covered aging top that covers your unique lovable body and your wisdom strands that many see as hair roots. I care that others do not use their eyes alone to judge.

I care because we all should.

The Emotional Impact of Sight Loss in Children

22 Sunday Apr 2018

Posted by thesecretblind in Sight Loss

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Blind, Children, Children's Milestones, Childrens Development, Developmental Psychology, Diversity, Equal Opportunities, School LIfe, Sight Loss, Sight Loss in Children

Imagine this. You a 7-year-old and you are sitting in a classroom surrounded by peers who know what is going on. They use their magical powers to complete the work that you have yet to start. Your friend who usually whispers to you what you should be writing is absent that day, so you sit there not knowing what to do. The only way to get out of the class is to use a diversionary tactic by pretending to be ill and hoping that the nurse will believe your fake sudden onset illness and allow you to go home. You know that you cannot face the day ahead without any help. Your peers already think you are stupid as you always get things wrong. You trip over things that others avoid. You don’t know what your friends are talking about with their latest favourite film. You never understand what everyone points at and comments on. You are lonely.

You have always been slower at reaching developmental goals than others and everyone around you questions if there is something intellectually “wrong” with you. Your parents did wonder why you were slow to smile, respond and copy facial expressions of others but they thought you were just taking the world in at your own pace. Your self-esteem has shrivelled up over the years. Fear, Anxiety and Depression are the three thieves that have stolen your happiness in life. Your memory of locations of places and things are outstanding, yet you feel like a lost alien in any new place. You dread new life experiences as you cannot cope in new surroundings as there is too much sensory overload and not enough safety.

Your mind can never switch off completely, as the auditory cues that you pick up from others will depict how you believe that you will need to act when it is your turn to do something. Those in closest proximity to you will be today’s teachers and those far away from your will fade into the background. The word Autism has been thrown around about you by professionals and adults in your life, due to the repetitive nature of your behaviour, speech and odd movements when asked to copy someone, Dyspraxia is another false diagnosis that has been discussed due to your unusual behaviour that is not developmentally matched to your chronological age. These will soon be dismissed, when they finally find out what is really “wrong” with you.

When playing, you never understand the rules of the game which annoys others. You always let others play with whatever they want, whilst you pretend to observe. You are far more explorative when you discover a new toy. You also use your imagination far more whilst playing and engage better with older children or adults who can expand their mind more. You are never the first to be chosen for a sports team as you are no good at it. You have been bullied for not fitting in due to not being like the others. You use different techniques than your friends to get to the same outcome. You avoid social situations where you know that these techniques will not work in. You see the world differently than the rest of your friends since you cannot see. You only have partial sight, yet nobody knows that yet, not even you.

Such a child is not just a fictional character but a true representation of what it is like growing up with a visual impairment. Whilst doing research for my master’s degree in Developmental Psychology a few years ago, these were only some of the findings that depicts the emotional impact that sight loss has on a child. Undiagnosed sight loss can leave the child with a feeling of isolation from the rest of their peers. Diagnosis is just the first step in helping the child to come to terms with what they are dealing with in their life. Practical help in the educational setting from trained professionals, can mean the difference between a child excelling or being failed. The emotional support that child needs however is perhaps the most important help that they can receive.

A child with a visual impairment is more likely to lose their idea of self and their identity can be negatively altered due to the response of the outside influences that are present. They may be excluded from many mainstream activities and sporting opportunities and not have adequate alternative offered to them, which may further their feeling of isolation. After diagnosis, being treated differently by school staff, peers and family members may come from the right place of concern but will not allow the child to feel equal to his/her peers. Inclusion not exclusion gives the child the equal opportunity that he/she has a legal and moral right too. Giving the child an opportunity to use specially trained counselling/ play therapy sessions can help the child talk about any issues that they have in a safe space and allow that child to transform their lives and reach their full potential.

Ensure that your child is up to date with their eye sight check ups and there are no undiagnosed visual abnormalities present. There are so many ways that children’s emotional well-being can be enhanced or damaged. Don’t let an undiagnosed sight impairment be the reason that a child lives an unhappy life. Get them checked and get them ready to conquer the world.

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