A Break Away

Tags

Animals, Dog, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Offduty

He has sniffed my suitcase and given me The Look. He has been in this situation before.

I know he is wondering where we are off to this time although what he should be thinking is where is “she” off to this time. Munch has stayed in a few hotel rooms with me so he is probably wondering whether he should lay stretched out across the top of the bed or the bottom? My lack of space does not concern him and may even irritate him as he watches displeased when I try and lay in even a quarter of the bed. I know he is salivating over the thoughts of casually dropped food from passer byes and waiting staff that always appear to end up in front of him as he dutifully clears up for them. The areas around the hotel that need to be marked with his scent will add value to the surrounding area as King Munch makes his royal duties around the new place as he entertains the onlookers. This is what Munch thinks of as he sees the suitcase being packed. This time however, it is sans chien paraphernalia.

I have sat him down to tell him that unfortunately he cannot come with us this time as I am off to play Bowls for the VI Welsh Team in Scotland and there would be nobody there to look after him whilst I am playing. The look that I have had back is the “Yeah right, as if you would leave me behind, I am far too important” look. Promising not to get too attached to my white cane in the five days I am away has fallen on hostile ears. I have promised to bring him back some Scottish goodies for him, but he merely turns his head in protest and gives me the cold shoulder. It may seem like I am the cruellest dog maid of all time, but I have ensured that he will be pampered in his usual divaesque ways without fail yet nothing seems to make his tail wag as I plead for his forgiveness.

On the other end of the scale, my three children who still live at home cannot wait to see the back of me so that they can have some peace and quiet. My 15, 17- and 21-year olds are looking forward to a nag free few days, doing what they want when they want and not being subjected to my cooking. Regular phone calls home will probably annoy them more than comfort them, but it will be lovely to hear their voices. Munch on the other hand may get quite emotional hearing the voice on the other end of the phone. Just to clarify, he may not react much to my voice, but I know he will go crazy to hear the voice of his favourite dog walker who is coming with me who happens to also be my coach.

There is a strict timetable in place for King Munch’s care when we are away. The children have him for part of the day and then he is going to my parent’s house where he knows that they are putty in his paws. On arrival, he is greeted with love, fuss and treats that he really shouldn’t be having but does because apparently “His gorgeous eyes are asking for some and it would be cruel to say no”. He will then be off for his many walks and explorations with my dedicated father who loves him. He will swim in rivers, chase sticks and sniff until his heart is content (Munch not my father) and will amble home at his own pace for food. He will them lay on the feet of my loving mother upon his return and get fussed into the land of nod.

He will not miss his harness wearing duties for five days and will appreciate the well-deserve break that he will have. He will not miss the early mornings that he has to get up for work as he can have many a nice lie- in with the sleepy teenagers of the house. I however will miss everything about him and the kids for the whole five days as it is the longest I have ever been away from them. I only expect a cold shoulder from Munch when I return but I think it will be hardest to thaw out. If I write my next blog post in a weeks-time with frost bitten fingers, please excuse me. I am hoping a bit of haggis on our return will warm his heart a little and allow me back into his good books, wish me well with that…….

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Is It A Bird? Is It A Plane? .. . No It’s A Guide Dog

Tags

Alternative, Animals, Beauty, Dog, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle, Photography

Here in his natural habitat, lives the wildest of the species. Wild yet placid, he adapts to his surroundings without a blink of the eye. With no predators around to stop his decent on the vast open space around him, he leaps into action. The evolution of this species began around 45 million years ago and is rarely seen today. Many would say that they have become extinct but as you can see from this nature snap, they are alive and kicking with passion.

Amphicyonidaes (bear-dogs to the amateurs among us) as evolution progressed had dog like proportions but a heavier bear like build as can be seen in the above image. With the ideal mix of spirit and strength, this particular amphicyoidae has survived the Welsh climate despite leaving behind his ancestors around 2 million years ago. Current DNA from this solitary survivor shows that he has survived due to the fact that …. hang on…. wait…. Okay, scrap all that, it seems like it is not actually an evolutionary miracle, but it is in fact …. A dog. Hmmmmm.

How I would love to tell people that he is something as rare as an amphicyonidae , but I will just have to stick to the truth. There is something about being constantly questioned not only what breed of dog he is but also what type of working dog he is that really wants me to spin a little bit of a yarn. The disbelief that some people have in hearing he is a Labradoodle and not an Irish Wolfhound or other breed just makes me want to make the truth a little more fun and far-fetched. The “I didn’t know that Guide Dogs use these types of dogs” brigade I am sure would appreciate a little chuckle instead of the seemingly mundane “yes they do now” response.

The latest query about Munch’s authenticity as a guide dog came from a friendly inquisitive man whilst I was out walking. Stating “I was wondering what type of animal that was when I saw you from further back. He looked more bear than dog” this sweet man chuckled. Asking if he was a trainee sniffer dog, I softly shattered that illusion for him as I told him the only thing he would be good at is sniffing out food and the local lamp posts for the doggy newspaper version of what is going on around the area. “Well, you have shocked me now. Not only is he a guide dog but the strangest looking Labradoodle I have seen” He shouted over his shoulder as he bid us farewell.

The “Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s guide dog” affect is still well and truly alive in our surroundings. I am just trying to think of some witty come backs that I can offer the ones who are confused by Munch’s heritage. If you have any, please let me know as I think it is only fair that we start a local rumour that there is a rare species roaming around the streets just to keep the mystery surrounding him going.

The Way To His Heart

Tags

Animals, Dog, Food, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Sharing

“Sorry sugar cube. One more early morning and I swear you can have a long lie in”. I reasoned with the unreasonable.
Mornings really aren’t his thing. Munch was not one of these dogs that I have heard of that loved early mornings and greets their owners with masses of kisses when they clap eyes on them for the first time each morning. Munch was more of a ‘Stroke me, massage me, kiss me and tell me how awesome I am before I even think about opening me eyes’ kind of dog. I learnt this the first week we met which was totally okay with me from the start. I know cold shoulder from such a warm-hearted soul can be a dent to the ego. but mornings are just not his thing.

Among his loud sighs. eye rolls and silent treatment he showered upon me we made it to work early which meant we had time for a quick game of catch with his ball. The intention was to play catch, but it turned more into a slow game of squash as I threw and the only one there to play was the stoic wall which to be honest was giving me far more attention than Munch was that day. Not even his favourite squeaky toy cow could tempt him to play. I was a little worried that he may be coming down with something as he was moodier than usual.

Throughout the morning he kept coming over to my bag with lunch in, sniffed it, looked at me and slumped off away to his bed. No amount of coaxing him with fuss and love seemed to cheer him up. Lunchtime when we settled down on his bed for lunch (we always share) I realized I had forgotten his favourite vegan cheese and spinach wrap that we had most days. His little whines let me know that he wasn’t impressed at all and that is why I was well and truly in the dog house. Refusing dried mango and yoghurt that was in the bag, he grabbed his bed in his mouth, turned his back and stomped off to have a mega tantrum. My apologize fell on his closed off ears and a cheese deprived soul.
His cheese less lunch fuelled rage hung heavily in the air all day. He showered affection on the clients that we saw as he sat in front of them and gave them his paw for some fuss and turned his back on me in protest. I did begin to wonder if he may have a slight cheese addiction. To test my theory of this was the reason for his diva like strop that day, I made his favourite cheese filled wrap when we got home to share with him and as expected, he returned to his usual loving self. Since then, I have been cautious to never forget his daily treat and he has been kind enough to allow me back into his good books.The way to this male heart really is though his stomach.

The Sloth Guru

Tags

Dog, Guide Dog, Guru, Humour, Labradoodle, Life Purpose, Sleep, Sloth

Is your life goal to move as little as possible, sleep a lot and spend your days conserving your energy? If so, here is your chance to find out how to live that horizontal life to the max from one of the worlds leading experts in the field Minster Munch Cooper. In this fascinating interview from this professional sloth act alike, you will gain insight into what you personally need to do to become one of the most sought- after spots in history of Snoozetown. So, get comfy, settle in and feel happy in the knowledge that this will be your main spot for the foreseeable future.

Interviewer – So, I have heard that after many years of training in the field, you are the go-to guru that holds the key to transforming one’s life into a sloth like haven. What would you tell want to be sloths about life in Snoozetown?

Note – The interview was put on hold at this point for 45 minutes as the guru fell into a slumber mid-question and was unable to respond. Only a disturbance from Angus the cat walking over his face roused him from his sleep.

The sloth Guru – It’s comfy.

The Interviewer – You sloths are renowned for being gentle creatures. You must feel unthreatened by the environment that you are in and feel at ease with those around you. What is the secret to becoming the gentle soul that you are and trusting in people around you?

The Sloth Guru – Cuddle and show affection to everyone you meet.

The Interviewer – Oh that is so sweet. What advice can you give to others on how to conserve energy if they want the sloth like existence?

The Sloth Guru – Look cute, look needy and let others fetch and carry for you.

The Interviewer – Some wise words their Guru Sloth. How much beauty sleep do you need to keep you looking so beautiful?

The Sloth Guru – Sleep up to 20 hours a day without fail.

The Interviewer – Are you always in the sloth-like mode or do you ever get energetic?

The Sloth Guru – Not a lot of people know that sloths can swim so you may find me swimming like a fish. Then sleeping for the rest of the day and night.

The Interviewer – It has been noted that you tend to be a little…. clumsy, is that the sloth in you or is that just your adorable personality?

The Sloth Guru – No comment.

The Interview – Sorry if I offended you. Where is your ‘happy’ zone?

The Sloth Guru – Sleeping.

The Interviewer – What gets you excited?

The Sloth Guru – Sleeping.

The Interviewer – Tell me what is your ideal life?

The Sloth Guru – Sleeping.

The Interviewer – What inspiration can you give to others who want to live a serene life like yours?
The Sloth Guru- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

If you have found this interview as enthralling as the Sloth Gurus life, take his hints and life hacks to live the life that your inner laziness really wants you to live. The Sloth Gurus teachings can be found in the Land of Nod so get snoozing and get slothing.

Swan Lake

Tags

Animals, Beauty, Dog, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Swan, Unconditional Love

“I demand you get back in here NOW”.

How dare he come into my lake (okay my pond but my home so I will call it what I want) and leave without permission. Does he not realize how magnificent Swans such as I are, and that we decide who we welcome or reject in our home? I knew straight away that he was one that could be easily manipulated. He was as threatening as a leaf as he gently tip toed into my territory. I could sense straight away that he wasn’t one of those small yappy dogs that wanted to fight everything including its shadow. He was a big softy.

Led by his mischief, he come close enough to say hello but far enough away not to get pecked. I am glad he knew the rules that he must abide by with me from the word go. Having a quick gander around I could see most of the other swans and ducks were elsewhere so I thought I may as well have some entertainment with my new hairy friend.

As the featherless and relatively hairless two legged being that was with this dog chatted away to others of the similar species, I heard him say that the dog was not his, but he was a friend of the owners. How ridiculous the two-legged species can be believing that they own a dog. Try owning a swan and see how far they get.

Apparently, my new play mate was called Munch. I instructed Munch that we would be playing chase around the pond and he seemed fine with it. Obviously, I was the leader and he trailed behind me like an after-thought. Okay well, he was quite a cute after thought but I didn’t want to tell him that and inflate his ego as I didn’t want him thinking he was equal to a swan. Gliding off gracefully in my regular haunt, I could hear him panting heavily behind me as he doggy paddled at speed to keep up. It was so much fun circling back around him and chasing him back.

The laughter I heard coming from the banks from the two-legged kind made us put on more of a show. Is it that bizarre for a swan and a dog to be play mates? I heard the man that Munch was with saying that he had taken pictures to show his owner (pfft, Munch told me he calls her his maid). My heart sank a little when I saw him heading for the bank for the last time. He woofed that he will be back soon for another play date. He seems to respect my pond (which I told him was really the best lake in the world and he believed me), so he is welcome to come back for a game of chase whenever he wants.

Until we meet again Munch, keep being the gentle soul that you are.

Follow The Leader

Tags

Choice, Dog, Freedom, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Life lessons, Thanks

Was this the way that he really wanted to go? It is usually the river that he runs to for some active aqua therapy or the field on top of the hill for some freedom therapy. The bird hide isn’t usually his thing. Maybe it was just the Welsh on the sign that was confusing him?

Over the last two years he has become almost fluent in Welsh commands (and swear words) and even joined in with the Welsh rugby win last weekend and the St David’s celebration on March 1st but I suppose asking him to learn the written word in a little too far.

Munch likes a lot of choice in life and loves to mix things up a bit so that’s all you can do with him is expect the unexpected. As he had forgotten his binoculars that day, I did wonder if he really wanted to go to the bird hide and knew as soon as he started down the path that he would change his mind half way through as it seemed a little too civilised for his liking. When he turned on his heel half way along the path, we just followed like obedient staff.

Saying our hellos to a fellow dog walker who noticed the change in our direction, she commented that she would never allow her dog to dictate where she went, and it was the other way around as she felt that she had all the power over her furry companion and that she always chose what he would do.

As we set off in Munch’s chosen direction, I felt so blessed that we were in each other’s lives as our outlook on life is practically identical. If Munch had ended up with the lovely but power-hungry owner that we had just met, he wouldn’t be the same free-spirited pooch as he was today. Mutual understanding and respect work much better that a control and fear-based relationship, as when we find equality, we learn to work in harmony with one another life becomes more blissful .

Believing that we have all the control over another living being speaks volumes about the balance that we believe we have in life and how secure we feel in this world of change.
Munch spends a lot of his time guiding me around which allows me to be independent and more adventurous that I could ever be without him. I give daily gratitude to him for being my eyes, my compass and my doorway to freedom and I will do whatever I can to repay him for his loyalty.

Leaving him to chose what he wants to do on his time off I feel is the least I can do for his guiding. Even his easy adaption to bilingual commands shows that he is far more than a possession and is in fact a talented teraway with a heart of gold and a spongy brain. I would never dampen his flair for free choices even if it means looking to others like I am the one in training.

Changing paths in life is never a sign of weakness but a sign of adventure. Keep choosing to change your mind Munch and I will always follow you into the adventure.

A Surfer’s Spoilt Paradise

Tags

Alternative, Beach, Dog, Free spirit, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle, Life lessons, Offduty, Surfing, Work And Play

Entering Ecstasy can only happen here, in the waves, as I become one with nature. Riding the waves on my newly waxed board, I glide along in sync with the flow of the waves. Surfing is my heaven on earth. My blissful bubble is burst when I spot something coming towards me in the water. What…. is it….? Is that a fin popping out of the water? Hang on, what has just emerged from under the surface? Is that…a baby whale? At the end of the lengthy neck is it Loch Ness himself? Here? In Wales? No hang on, is that a bark? Oh no, it’s a dog.

I hear voices on the shore line calling this dog back, but he is swimming straight for me at a rapid pace. I hope he is friendly. He is big, and his bark sounds so loud. Oh God, here he comes barking ten to the dozen. “Hi, you” I offer gently to get him on my good side. He begins to circle me barking away although now I know it is a friendly bark which wants to play. His doggy kisses he plants on me tells me that he is a big softy. He swims away and back again, wanting me to engage in a game of chase which I politely decline.

As the three voices on the shoreline get more and more frantic as they call him, he becomes more adamant that he was going to stay here with me, swimming alongside me in the sea. As I see two of his owners coming into the sea fully clothed to get him, I thought he would go but he decided to instead try and jump on my surf board to surf into the sunset. No chance is he getting on my prized possession especially since his name is Munch apparently. If he bit this, it would resemble a small shark bite. He continues to give his owners the run around but, in the end he finally goes back on the sand.

After having a brief chat with the owners who have apologized a gazillion times, I see the little mischief maker trot off to go and make friends with a group of children who are near and cooing over him. The coos soon turn into cries of disappointment as he tramples over their sand castles with his yeti like paws as he greets them lovingly. The owners turn on their heels to make apologize for clumsy Munch for the second time in as many minutes. I was right when I told the owners he was just being a free spirit and loving life to the maximum

As I hear stern words being spoken to Munch, I turn my back on the little mischief maker and secretly chuckle away at him. As I surf off into the sea, I smile knowingly that us free spirits can never be tamed. When the joy of life takes you over, you just want to share it with everyone around. Free spirits like us find it hard to be imprisoned in the dullness of everyday life so we need to let off steam. I think the owners have their hands full with Munch but at least he won’t go anywhere unnoticed. You can never unsee the trail of a free spirit.

Judge, And You May Need An Umbrella

Tags

Blind, Disability, Dog, Education, Guide Dog, Life lessons, Mobility

Call me pedantic but I really didn’t fancy getting my foot wedged down the toilet again.
After last year’s faux pas of attempting to delicately step over Munch in the toilet cubical and ending up slipping and dipping my toes into what I hoped was clean H2O in the bottom of a Tesco’s toilet, I have been a little wary of our ability to fit into a standard size toilet cubicle. Now, I love Munch dearly, but I often wonder if his dipsey ways are from being away with the fairies or just a sneaky plan of watching on in glee as my mishaps multiply. The day in question, he appeared not to understand the “come on sugar cube, forward” that I used to coax him into getting his pony like body into cubicle, hence my slip and dip routine where my foot decided to dive into the toilet as I clumsily clambered over him. In all fairness, as soon as he heard the splash, he came alive and turned around and closed the door with his nose. If I had functional vision, I swear I would have seen his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Sorry, I am digressing from my original point. It is virtually impossible for me and lofty Munch to fit into standard size toilet cubicle accident free, so we sometimes need to use the disabled toilets if the standard ones aren’t large enough.
A few weeks ago, when we successfully emerged from a disabled toilet with dry feet, I was happy. That is until an irate woman snarled at me as I walked out. “You do know that this is a disabled toilet don’t you” she seethed. Me being as vacant as ever replied “Yeah I know” with matching puzzlement in my voice and probably my face, “You shouldn’t be using it should you” Chirpy Cheryl chastised. “Do you actually have a disability?” Chirpy Cheryl huffed, puffed and tutted with raised blood pressure. “What?” the childish me snapped back. As I heard the pennies fall in her head, Chirpy Cheryl did become chirpy as she started to apologize profusely for not noticing 31 inch high Munch. This not looking blind malarkey did not half get me into trouble. Chirpy Cheryl would not be the first nor the last to jump to the conclusion of what a disability does and does not look like. My daughter who was waiting outside the toilet heard the conversation and we talked about it afterwards. The accuser of the “queue jumping non-disabled person” herself did not appear to have any external clues of a disability but we did not think about questioning her about her entitlement of using the disabled toilet as our minds were not confined in such a narrow space.
Call me bad minded but I think Chirpy Cheryl has many like-minded friends around the place who also like to question your entitlement to join them in disabled facilities. Being blissfully blind to most things around me, I never see the judgement on other people’s faces but people who I am with at the time do. Parking in a disabled car parking spot the other day, we were bitterly embraced by Cranky Colin who we parked next to us in a disabled bay. As my daughter merrily popped my Blue Badge on the dashboard, she commented that Cranky Colin’s scowl towards us was intensifying. As we gathered our things together to get out, my daughter told me that Cranky Colin had suddenly transformed into an owl as he whipped his head around to watch us go to the boot to get Munch out. Even as we walked away on the pedestrian area in front of the car, I was told he was still glaring and had added a few head shakes and I am sure I felt some heat seeking missiles being aimed at my back. I mean if someone is walking with a Guide Dog and has a blue badge, it is fair to say that they can use a disabled parking spot. The Chirpy Cheryls and Cranky Colins in the world maybe should rethink the judging that they do. People who have disabilities and health conditions that require disabled facilities themselves surely realize that empathy is a far better option that hostility.
Unless we have x-ray vision and a medical degree, let’s not pretend to be experts on how hidden disabilities and health conditions affect people. Surely the Chirpy Cheryls and Cranky Colins in the world that themselves live with health issues should know what it is like to be judged. Tuts, headshakes and snappy comments will always say more about the one making them and little about the person they are directed at. Chirpy Cheryls and Cranky Colins may always exist but we can always take steps to educate them. Failing that, we can always send loving unicorns their way and hope their glittery poop that they drop from overhead adds some sparkle to their dull lives. Love and splattering’s Cheryl and Colin X.

Working With Humans

Tags

Blind, Blogging, Dog, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle, Patience, Photography, Sight Loss

How many times can she get it wrong?
Today has been so frustrating. I have been sitting here like the perfect Labradoodle that I am and there she is being the typical scatty maid as she is. Humans are the weirdest creatures ever. We have been here for nearly two hours to record a video of us which will last less than a minute. We would have finished much sooner if my daft maid could string a sentence together without saying “Um” and “no, start again” over and over whilst speaking English, Welsh and Martian all in the same sentence. Why couldn’t the Guide Dogs have matched me with someone more efficient?
Luckily it was my favourite dog walking footman that was with us as he encouraged us to have lots of breaks in filming and led us all to a huge field so that I could have a well-deserved run. Meeting other dogs here meant I could remove my regal robes (or harness as some people not in the know call them) and exercise my gracious body. I even led other dogs to believe that I was an equal as we played together and not the King that I secretly am. Such fun.
Unfortunately, after I had had my well-deserved break, we were back to getting yet another video completed where apparently the maid had gathered her thoughts and was now able to string a sentence together to record the short promotional video for the Writers Workshop for the publisher that we needed to film. I am seriously considering getting another writer for my next book to ensure that not only does everyone know what an amazing guide dog and everyday Idol that I am, but also to let the world know how frustrating it can be when you really can’t get the staff to do what you want.
Working with humans has taught me many things which are.
– They are so fussy about things that they really do not need to be fussy about.
– They need to sniff often, play more and love everything.
– They over complicate the simplest of tasks. Either do or don’t. That’s it.
– They need to run like no one is watching and chase their non-existent tail just to know what it is like to be in the moment more.
– They need to realize that a picture of you from any angle is a good angle because you are perfect just as you are.
We finally got to finish the video when the maid’s mouth became friends with her brain again and I was free to sashay away with grace. Humans can be so hard to control.

Meet The Staff

Tags

Alternative, Dog, Entitlement, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle

There is this bizarre rumour that has been spread across the globe over the decades that dogs have owners and only cats have staff. What a lot of old tosh. I am the King of my home and utilise my staff whenever required. Let me introduce you to my servants.

Chief Maid – It is because of this one that I landed up living here. All through guide dog training school, I knew I was destined for something big. My charming good looks got me extra attention so when I arrived in my “Owners” house (pfft, as if), I had mastered placing spells upon people to make them do as I want through my pleading eyes. The chief maid accompanies me on my royal visits and tends to my needs. She is under the impression that I am her hired help, but everyone else knows different.

Head of PR – This one that I have hired is used when I am out and about without my chief maid, He also doubles as a footman among other things. He accompanies me out in public when I fancy a free run without my robe on (or harness in common terms). He is responsible for answering questions about me to those who stop and ask. Not only does my PR tell people that I am a Labradoodle not an Irish Wolfhound, but he also informs them about my alluring personality, regal ways and high standards.

Lady – in-waiting – I do realize that this role is usually used for females of a high ranking such as I, but I am all for Equal Opportunities so I felt it was only right that I had access to one. She is the kind eldest daughter of the chief maid and always ensures that I have everything that I need and is always at hand to make my life more comfortable whether it be a quick massage of my body or ego or ensuring that my sleeping arrangements are good enough for me.

Chauffeuse – There is a need sometime to be taken somewhere in style as it cannot be expected of me to walk everywhere. My Chauffeuse is the beautiful second daughter of the chief maid and is well trained enough to know that I will only get in and out of the car in my own good time and not on command. Her patients with me is appreciated as she has learnt over time that I do things at my own pace and in my own unique style. I may not do the royal wave to the cars that travel behind me on the road, but I do acknowledge them with a slight nod of the head when I am upright and happen to be glancing in their direction out of the rear of the car.

Royal Butler – The third born to the chief maid is a son who I have made my butler. This loving soul understands my needs so well and ensures that I always have what I need. In fact, he understands me so well that I have taken over his bedroom. If I lie on his bed, he is always there to fuss over me. He feeds me sometimes when the chief maid is not looking, and she has even ordered a larger bed now so that I am able to stretch out on his bed a little more and maybe allow him a tiny corner to sleep in. I know, I am all heart towards my staff.

Personal Trainer – The youngest of the chief maids’ children who is the one that is sporty like me. Well, I mean we both love to play with a ball although I obviously cannot be seen to be huffing and puffing too much to the common onlooker so I only play for a limited amount of time but my amazing personal trainer always tries to help my warrior like ways by play wrestling, stick pulling and taking me on assault courses full of mud. This is where I leave my inner pup out to play away from the eyes of those who expect me to be in my work mode. He is my perfect partner to make mischief with.

The Nanny – Technically, this may not be the official title, but this is the adorable granddaughter of the chief maid. She ensures that I always have toys around to play with and we always go on the hunt together for things that we should not play with but are fun all the same. I loved it when she drew on the walls at my eye level so that I could appreciate the artwork in my own art gallery whenever I wanted. She drew such a masterpiece until the spoil sports painted over it. She is so caring that she always pampers me and babies me.

These are just my main members of staff, I also have a nutritionist who is the mother of the chief maid who always gives me tasty treats that my chief maid always tries to ban as apparently, I need to lose a little weight. Huh, she listens to that vet far too much. I also have two royal guides who take me on fun walks when I go and visit. They are the father and brother of the chief maid so when I get to visit that fun house, I get fed lovely forbidden foods and taken for glorious walks and do not have to work. Ah bliss. I also have a stylist who I visit every three months or so to make sure my eye brows are on fleek along with many other staff members that I am too tired to write about as I will be needing my fifth nap of the day soon,

I hope all my fellow canines out there have such loving staff members around them because we are more than worth it. Happy training.