Finding Your Floppy Tongued BFF’s

Tags

Animal, Dog, Friends, Fun, Guide Dog, Mischief maker

• 

This is Shadow. Shadow is my BFF. Shadow loves life. Be more like Shadow.

Shadow (slight name change to prevent friend request overload), has been my hairy best friend since I bumped into him on my regular patch for free running. The bumping into each other was literal as we jumped mid-air to retrieve a ball that belonged to neither of us. The fifth-hand saliva that lay coating the recently found ball was just too irresistible for us both to leave and thus cementing our friendship. As our own tennis balls lay unloved at our owner’s (sorry staff member’s)  feet, I knew that Shadow belonged to my mischief making tribe.

I cannot remember him in my litter when I was born but I am sure he is one of my lot. I hear the two legged less hairy people say we look totally different, but I cannot see how. Those humans are just so judgemental. We have the same number of legs, two eyes, two floppy ears, one nose and a mouth so how they can say we are different I do not know. Admittedly I may be a mm or two bigger than Shadow but other than that we are almost identical.

We both love to chase balls, retrieve abandoned balls,  chew sticks, chase each other, play fight in the most non play fighting ways, run alongside each other with no agenda, sniff anything we can find and pee on everything to stamp our existence on anything and everything. Ok there are some differences between us such as the fact the Shadow always listens to his two legged less hairy human, is fussy with food and has yet to get his human grandmother caught on his back as he goes between her legs to give a doggy cuddle, but apart from these, we kind of are the same. Oh yes and he is not a harness wearing  guide dog but apart from that we could be twins.

Our happy , tongue floppy smiles match the joy in our hearts when we get to play with each other. Our Lady and the Tramp daily re-enactment scene with a stick instead of a piece of spaghetti, shows the love of the same things as we munch away until we meet in the middle. Shadow and I dance the dance of play in our own unique way and I never want this to change. We live carefree in the moment which is always enough and more. We chose to love life and create our own bubble of happiness that nobody can ever burst.    

I hope you have your own version of Shadow in your life to chase balls and chew sticks with to make you happy. If not, I hope you find one soon to help find your floppy tongued smiling twin.

The Doggy Hall Of Shame

Tags

Achievement, Animals, Children and animals, Dog, Free spirit, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Mistakes, Munch, Unique, Working Dog

• 

Each year our canine cuties bring award winning achievements into our lives, which deserve honouring. From Gwyn the German Shepard rescuing it’s human family from burning buildings, to Bertha the Bichon Frise strutting her stuff on the Dog walk to win hair style of the year, each dog should be celebrated. There are of course exceptions to every rule. For there to be a top of the list hierarchy, there also needs to be well….bottom of the list too. Interestingly, there are some dogs that slide between top dog and mischief maker is milliseconds. The category that these furry fireballs belong too is “The Angelic Rogues”. For the sixth year running, Minster Cooper (a.k.a. Munch) has stolen the prize for his consistant and outstanding achievements in this area yet again.

Born to beautifully behaved nurturing mother Hettie (a black labrodor) and perfectly presented boffin dad Pringle (a handsome cream poodle), Munch first placed his paw prints on this world on 18th December 2014. Arguable, the naughtiest in the litter, Munch left a mark on people’s hearts (and patience levels) since day one. Never one to shy away from the limelight, Munch has always succeeded in being central to any drama that unfolds in his vicinity without fail. His expertise in deflection has always allowed him to use his innocent looks to throw any onlookers off the truth trail whilst they look elsewhere for the source of mischief.

Playing Tug of War with a fellow canine whilst using a net curtain instead of a rope, was an early sign of his creativity during his first few months of life. After getting off a flower bed after a row only to seconds later get on another flower bed (repeated multiple times) shows that Munch has wonderful decision making skills that are malleable to any situation. From these examples of creativity and decision making skills it is clear to see why Munch was destined to be …..a Guide Dog. I mean, with such a personality what could possibly go wrong?

Taking Guide Dog training all in his huge stride, Munch passed with flying colours. Obedience training must have been…interesting. With the determined poodle streak shining out for multiple galaxies to see, Munch learnt how to use his ‘On-duty angel, off-duty rascal’ sides of his personality to the max. A straight A student on harness in work mode, he learnt how to build up enough good boy points to transfer them to his time off tantrums so that he would not get in trouble. Acquired knowledge has been key in the career path of this Angelic Rogue.

After being placed with his ‘owner’ four years ago (ha ha, as if anyone could ever own him), he turned the tables pretty quick by demonstrating his world class Leadership skills. After the very first meeting, he manageaged to single pawedly turn her into his maid. Always out front in or out of harness, Munch has led her along many paths whether she wanted to go there or not. He even got her to write a book about him and how talented he was. As What You See When You Can’t See flew off the shelves in 2019, he was perplexed to why it had taken this long for anyone to say how amazing he was. He knew that not only was he the best Labradoodle in the world but arguable the best dog in the universe. It was just a shame that the maid kept bringing up some mishaps that had occurred along the way.

Admittedly, there was that incident that got his human grandmother stuck on his back after a funeral, as he attempted to take his 32 Inch high body under her 25 Inch legs, but that was just a case of a mathematical miscalculation. The wanted posters for the worlds’ biggest ball thief that just happens to resemble him is not him he assures everyone, just a wannabe. A swift investigation of an alleged pasty thieving incident from the hands of a 3 year old was quickly quashed as Munch argued she was holding it out for him to eat. Panini Gate, where Munch upped his stakes from pasty to panini from the outstretched hand of a pupil, was happily settled out of court with the gift of a replacement panini and box of chocolates. Up until now, Munch has kept his good reputation. Things did change however earlier this week.

Trotting along on his free run, he came across one of his favourite things. A stick. Unfortunately, said stick was being held in the hands of a young boy which meant only one thing to Munch. Playtime. As Munch gently attached himself to the other end of the stick and happily pranced alongside the chatty boy, a friendship was made. Unfortunately, the friendship was short lived when the boy threw the stick for Munch to fetch and Munch brought back half the stick a few minutes later. The little boys dream of fighting dragons with his once powerful stick was now shattered as he had to set his sights on fighting ants instead. Apologies were made and another stick found but it wasn’t quite the same as the dragon fighting weapon he once knew.

Stern words have been had with Munch about taking sticks off children which is just as bad as stealing sweets from them. His eye rolls and sights say it all really, the Angelic Rogue doesn’t see the fuss. He believes munching on sticks is his God given right as a dog. It has been a hard decision but it is only fair that he will be placed in the Doggy Hall of Shame until he feels remorse for his actions. The only thing is, he sees it as another badge of honour as he sits under the Mischief Maker of the Month category. He has his eyes set on the Mayor of Mayhem award which we will keep you updated on. There is always one and it’s always him!

Return to Happiness

Tags

Animal, Blessings, Disability, Dog, Drama King, Food, Guide Dog, Happiness, Helping, Hidden Disability, Humour, Kindness, Labradoodle, Meaning of lIfe

• 

Just like that, we were back.

Fifteen weeks on and we were back in the shop like nothing had happened. To us, not much had changed. Blurs (or people, as the sighted like to call them), sauntered around on their own missions to get out of this supposedly germ infested place as we were guided by our friend’s  voice to watch out for people and objects.  Having been blessed to have friends, family and online shopping services do our shopping for us over the last fifteen weeks, we had not stepped foot into a shop, so I was unsure what to expect. Munch had not been in full work mode for a while, only slipping on his harness for short walks around our home area. I was a little apprehensive of how he would feel going back into full work mode, but he amazed me on how eager he was to get back.

Practically yanking me into the place that he once resisted going, I guessed this shopping trip would be easier than I had thought. The history of Munch and shopping has not always been a positive one but clearly this break has made him re -evaluate his acceptance of the place that fills his belly with love from all the edible goodies all around. As we swiftly passed the clothes section that he has never been a fan of, his prancing pace quickened, avoiding the two-legged race with perfection. A quick sniff out of his favourite vegan cheese that he is rather partial too and we were well on the way to the second aisle. All the fears I had of not being able to see to social distance was gone as my harness wearing hero worked in partnership with my vocal coaching friend as they helped avoid upsetting anyone by walking into them. Munch was back on top form.

I swallowed the guilt of the questioning thoughts that I had been having of Munch becoming deskilled with his time off from proper work as he proved me wrong. With ever prancing paws he placed on the shiny supermarket floor, he was obviously on a mission. As we glided through the scent of  celery, cotton fresh candles and freshly baked products from the bakery that alerted my olfactory gland to where we were in the supermarket, I knew that Munch had this all in hand (or his yeti like paws more like). The calling of the third aisle became too much for Munch as he quickened his Olympian worthy pace as we rounded the corner resembling a pair of pivoting ice skaters. It was only when the stench of dried meaty canine bliss and cat nip covered treats intruded my nostrils that I realized what Munch’s hurry had been all along. He had finally come home to the aisle where his heart was. The pet food aisle.

His longing to return to this sense filled sanctuary was plain for all to see. His excited panting echoed along the tins and boxes that lined the shelves of his favourite thirty plus foot space EVER. The smell of new tennis balls wafting from their net packaging alerted me that we had reached his favourite toy section. For some strange reason, he took his time to put his best paw forward in this part of the shop and was in no hurry to leave. It was only after a pack of treats and new toy later, that I knew he would be ready to sashay through the rest of the shop. We remained here for some time for him to savour the moment and reconnect to what his food driven soul had been missing. His return to normality had begun.

If there is one thing that Munch has taught me during our time together is that appreciating the simple things in life is all that matters. Following this helicopter tailed happy chappie throughout the rest of shop I realized that witnessing his happiness and the happiness in others is what life is all about. The simplicity of the effects of a smell, the feeling of returning to contentment and focussing on the basics in life is all that is needed to return to happiness. I knew that when his sloppy kisses covered my face when he leapt into the car after the shopping trip, he was thanking me for taking him back into bliss. The return to happiness is sometimes simpler than we think.

• 

A Peaceful End To A Protest

Tags

Animals, Dog, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Respect, Tolerance, Unconditional Love

I wonder what his placard would have said if he had one.

I WANT FREEDOM. WHEN DO I WANT IT? NOW?

LABRADDODLES RULE.

1 HOUR WORKDAYS ARE TOO MUCH

YOU MUST OBEY THE KING

I BARK, YOU LISTEN

Many may have thought that this sit-down protest came out of nowhere but I, his maid, knew him well enough to know that I was obviously asking too much of him. I was asking him to pass a place of play that he loved to cause mischief in. His on-duty Harness wearing persona Minster was out doing his guide dog duties but his Munch like side was triggered by the sight of wide-open grass. What was a dog to do?

As his pace slowed down, I knew we were in trouble. His gentle leader clad head softly turned to his left as his heart began to long for some freedom. He wanted to bound around like a leaping lamb in the place where he has spent many a morning leading Elle the golden Labrador astray. A place where he has accidentally on purpose run off with a ball or two from some poor unsuspecting dog just for the banter. It is here that he has had many an unsuccessful attempt to jump up into the trees that may have a squirrel or two. Basically, this is one of the places that he can be free to be the clown that he was born to be.

The problem that I had on this day was that I did not have my cane with me or his bell collar that I use to hear where he is as opposed to seeing where he is so I could not really let him off his harness. He had already had a run in the morning and a 3 mile walk so was far from exercise deprived but his cold shoulder was telling me different. His sit down protest lasted a good 15 minutes and despite my reasoning with his rational side, he refused to budge. He was going in that field one way or another and I was just going to have to deal with it.

During our pointless one-way conversation, a person had passed by twice commenting “oh, you are still here then” on the way back. I really wanted to say “yes, my owner has decided he is not budging until he gets his own way” but I settled with the little fib of “Yes we are just having a rest in the fresh air”. Not wanting to be reported for loitering with intent (although I am not sure what harm a blind woman and a stubborn guide dog could be accused of), it was time to compromise. He would get his own way, but he would have to stay on the lead to help me avoid any trip hazards.

Slipping his harness off his body, I could sense his hopes getting up. When I failed to unclip his lead from his collar, I sensed his hopes fall. Not a good thing for this drama king to experience as I knew that although he thought had got what he wanted; he was not wholly free. His sulking shoulders were reluctant to move his legs at a quickened pace to begin with, but he soon warmed up to the compromise that we had come too with semi freedom being offered.

Over the last two and a half years, he has trained me very well. It was clear from the start that he was the one in relationship that called the shots and I was daft enough to obey. He works so hard for me and has allowed me to return to work and live independently again so it is only fair that there is a lot of give and take in the relationship. Learning to compromise in any relationship is essential to be able to hear each other’s needs be it a romantic relationship, family relationship, friendship or a relationship with animals.

If I had a guide dog that totally obeyed my every command out of fear of being disciplined, I would feel utterly heartbroken. He dedicates his life to helping me get around and fills the hearts of people that he meets with pure love and joy, so if he wants to have a little tantrum now and again so be it. We are equal beings with equal needs that need to be heard. If your animal is training you well too, be grateful that he/she feels comfortable enough to ask you. When we learn to listen and let go of control, we learn to love unconditionally.

Time Off For Good Behaviour

Tags

Animals, Dog, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Mobility, Thanks

Do you promise I only have a few more shifts to go until the holidays?

I know that is what he is thinking as I have been promising him this time off for a long time. The beauty of working in schools is that we have a lot of holidays which suits Munch just fine. He was put on this earth for many things such as giving and receiving an abundance of love, being a constant source of entertainment, training people to pander to his needs but work? ……not so much.

Most of his workday is spent laying around on his bed, client’s feet or in a corner in a huff. When he is not in his horizontal hibernation, he can be found playing with his toys, giving a client his paw to demand attention or doing the dying fly impersonation on the floor to centre all attention around his dramatic display. Keeping all of that in mind, I use the word work in the loosest of terms in relation to Munch.

He is even more excited this year as he has an extra week off than our usual 6 weeks so 7 weeks of off duty fun awaits him. When he will be running around freely on a field somewhere or swimming in a river, I will be slightly out of action with a healing knee after the upcoming operation that is happening in 2 weeks-time. I cannot wait to hear from his dog walkers what mischief he gets up to on his days out.

Everything is planned out to make sure that he has the most fun summer ever. A timetable of fun awaits him whilst I may be stuck indoors for a little while. I have a feeling that as he hangs up his harness for a few weeks he will have no regret, only happiness coursing through his body. I cannot wait to sense how happy he is each time he is brought home with a tired-out body and his bank of joy filled up.

Healing from the operation will be much easier if I know everyone is taken care of. The children are all sorted, and I know will be a great help. Angus and Faith will be happy doing their own cat and tortoise thing, but it is Munch who I have been most concerned about. Will he unlearn his guide dog commands when he is off? Will he have a tantrum when his harness goes back om him in a few weeks? Will he demand new working conditions when he returns to his role when I am more mobile?

I know that even when I am on crutches whilst wearing a Robocopesque leg brace, we will learn to listen to each other and work as partners in our own unique way. Munch is rather a fan of the slower pace of life, so I don’t think my new pace of walking will annoy him too much. A pocket full of treats and lots of fuss and praise may help soften his heart when he returns to a slower pace of work life.

I will keep you all posted on his summer escapades which will no doubt bring a smile or two to your face. The harness free pics will hopefully show his fun off duty summer that he deserves so much. Let the fun begin.

When The Mighty Fall

Tags

Animals, Dog, Drama King, Humour, Labradoodle

She calls herself a dedicated maid who loves me so much but here I am having to rely on a supermarket toilet hand dryer to give me the blow dry that I should be receiving everyday as part of my grooming regime.

Do you think it is too late for me to request new staff members who treat me with more respect and appreciate my regal ways? Here she is bringing me to a common place and not even apologising. The untrained eye may see me as just a guide dog and not the King that I really am.

She makes me walk and refuses to carry me because apparently, I am too big. She refuses to give me all her food when I look at her in “that way” with my adorable eyes and only gives me bits whilst muttering “don’t tell anyone form guide dogs or the vet that I am giving you this”.

She makes me shower when I don’t want to. I will swim in rivers and the sea whenever I get a chance, yet she finds it puzzling that I will not walk in the rain. Apparently to the maid it is odd, but I think she is the odd one who expects me to be reasonable with her. I don’t do reason very well. I overheard her once laughing and saying to a friend that she doesn’t think I am trained when it is obvious that SHE is the one that is not trained. I have high standards that she clearly has trouble meeting such as now.

Here I am, King Munch having to rely on a hand dryer to get the blow dry I should be getting daily. Appearance is everything to a handsome fella like me so does she think that daily brushing is enough for the upkeep of my public persona? My telepathic pleas for a permenant personal poodle pamper staff member has fallen on an unreceptive brain so what is a dog to do? The only way to get through to her to demonstrate my needs is obviously to show her although she cannot see. By stepping between her and the hand dryer each time I am hoping that she will get the message that I should have a far more deluxe version at home for my personal usage which I will choose at my convenience.

Could you do me a favour please? If you ever see me lowering my standards and getting blow dried in public could you, please give my maid a nudge to tell her that she needs to install a full doggie grooming parlour in my residence please? Between us we will educate her on my needs as a regal being. Falling from my pedestal is never easy so please send loving thoughts my way until my correct positioning in the hierarchy in the family can commence. Much doggy love sent your way.

When Two Become One

Tags

Animals, Beauty, Dog, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Oneness, Thanks, Unity

When a guide dog meets his/her new working partner, neither of their lives will ever be the same again.

After months of training to become super intelligent guide dogs that will give their time and love unconditionally to their new partners, they begin to weave their magic into the life of their new best friend. The blessed person with sight loss who has been awaiting this guide dog gift day for a long time can begin to attempt to return to some normality of life safe in the knowledge that they have a furry friend helping them. It will be the mix of both of their energies that will create a foundation for the most life changing bond that they will ever experience.

Matching guide dog to partner goes way beyond pairing up the first dog that is available. The needs of the guide dog partner are known and is key in choosing which dog will be suitable. Some matches will not work out and the partnership may be brief, whereas others will last for over 8 years and will create a bond that will never be forgotten. The guide dog will become part of the family, part of the community and most importantly part of the person that walks along their righthand side throughout life.

Guide dogs are far from over worked robots who do nothing but serve the person in their life. They are far more than a pet and far less than a slave. They go places that many animals never get to experience, and they get admired by the onlookers who see their beauty and their worth. They get to put smiles on the faces of people who live in loneliness and feel the love from strangers that surrounds them when they cross their paths. The extended family that the guide dog comes from with the old puppy walkers, trainers and guide dog staff have all had an essential role in helping the dog reach their full potential.

Since Munch came into my life the “I” has ceased and the “we” has begun. His needs are always top priority (along with the children) when I wake in the morning. Creating a happy life for him is key in us being able to work as a partnership throughout our life together. People always see us as a package now and where they see one of us, they expect to see the other. He plays more than he works, and he is pampered and never struggles. My love for him grows each day, and the mischievous imperfections that make him who he is, I hope will keep evolving.

The universe was in cahoots with our souls when it matched us together and for that I will be ever grateful. Being known as the one with “the unusual guide dog”, always makes me smile and my heart fills with joy. Becoming one with this drama loving, chilled out mischief maker means that I get to witness things that I never would have without him. I really hope that you get to become one with a furry or non-furry being in life and appreciate their quirky ways. Merged lives can expand the solitary life that will soon become a distant memory when we trust the oneness of all living beings.

A New Arrival

Tags

Animals, cat, Dog, Sharing, tortoise, Wishes

This may take a while.

How hard can it be introducing a new pet into the family? The moment Munch stepped paw into the house two and a half years ago, he was confronted with Angus my adorable black rescue cat who wouldn’t say boo or meow to a goose. He did however want to say hiss to a great big oaf of a Labradoodle that came hurtling through his front door. A swift swipe of his outstretched paw told Munch that he was being met with a hostility stand off rather than a welcoming committee. That set the tone for the relationship that they have today. Sweet Angus still rules, and Munch just obeys which to be fair is shocking as Angus is the only non-staff members of Munch in the family.

Now we have a new animal on the block in the form of my parent’s adorable tortoise Faith, Her brother Hero is still missing in action having escaped from their garden three weeks ago. The plan is that if he returns form his little jaunt, then he will be coming to join his sister in his new habitat. Introducing Faith to Munch has not been as smoothly as we had imagined though as he is not sure what to make of this odd-looking walking shell. A sniff here and there has only added to his confusion to this non canine like creature.

We have been searching like mad for the best way to introduce a tortoise to mischievous Munch and we are still crossing our fingers that he will soon act nonchalant like he does to everyone else. Apart from squirrels, he never gets this excited over any living being so I am crossing every body part that I have, that his excited barks will soon ease off and be replaced by a silent glance over his shoulder as he watches Faith slowly walk past him on a lazy afternoon stroll. Surely her chilled out attitude in life will speak to his inner sloth and they can become the best of friends.

Until then short bursts of sniffing Faiths new home, alternating access to free runs in the garden and treats for every time he does not bark and try and scare sweet Faith may be the way forward. I am crossing my fingers that I will one day be able to take a picture of Munch, Angus and Faith all being friends as their beautiful soul’s merge into a trio of friends.

A Panini Thief? Where?

Tags

Animals, Dog, Foodie, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle, Sharing

“Well, his official name is Minster as he was sponsored by Lincoln Minster Prep school, but I have nicknamed him Munch”, joked the trainer that had brought this beautiful hairy soul into my life. It wasn’t long before I knew why his nickname had come about.

Led by a typical Labrador stomach, Munch cruised through life hoovering up unwanted food debris with utter dedication to this life path that he had chosen. One of the advantages of being a guide dog was that he could go places that other dogs were not allowed. Working alongside his maid in different schools around the area meant that he had a lot of ground to selflessly cover in relation to removal of food waste. Not a break or dinner time went past that this hard-working soul was not on high alert for removing any food-based slip hazards that the two legged less hairy race could slip on. No corner remained unexplored on his shift.

Just the other day he was faced with preventing an urgent food spillage that was about to happen right before his eyes. As his maid was taking him through the reception area of a school, he spotted a potential health and safety hazard about to occur on his patch. Being the ever-vigilant hero that he is, he knew he had little time and had to act fast. Prevention was always better than cure, so he stepped up to the mark without a second thought for his safety. There in front of him dangling at face height was a chicken tikka panini in a careless hand. Knowing the damage that such a spillage could cause on the carpeted floor he sprang into action and put his own safety on the line. Saving the school cleaner a messy clean-up, he did what any decent citizen would have done and went in for the chomp.

Rescuing the whole panini in his mouth, he stood with pride showing off his heroic skills. The gasps of the astonished people all around him was obviously a shared appreciation of his bravery wasn’t it? As he stood with half of the panini poking lengthways out of his mouth, he pondered how he was going to get the whole lot in his mouth at record speed. It was in that moment that everything changed. Out of nowhere, the cruel hand of the maid came around to remove the mid-air panini part out of his mouth for some strange reason. There he stood, the top food spillage preventor around, being relieved of his duties. How could this be happening?

As he quickly ate the remaining of the chicken tikka panini that was safe in his mouth, he heard a lot of commotion from the two legged less hairy race. The maid was saying sorry a million times for some strange reason and there was a lot of giggling going on around him. As the maid offered to buy the pupil a new panini, he stood in utter amazement that nobody had stopped to thank him. After all those years of perfecting his cleaning up skills, nobody could see that he was just being of service the best he could. What had the world come too when a top dog is no longer celebrated? The mind boggles.

Entering the office in reception a few moments later, he received the standing ovation that he rightly deserved as the three receptionists laughed at his little show. With his helicopter like tail rotating in excitement, he allowed the ladies to come and stroke him. The maid was still rambling on about some “little monkey” that she knew but he did not know what she meant. A quick sniff in the bin under one of the receptionist’s desks gave the ladies in the office the all clear from any potential food disasters. Regardless of the maid carrying on about being embarrassed by that little monkey that she kept harping on about, he went straight back into his professional role. He was not a quitter.

Arriving back in their counselling room with a full belly and job satisfaction, he drank two bowls full of water and settled down for the afternoon. The lack of appreciation from the maid filled him with disappointment. He decided to put her in the doghouse and give her the cold shoulder for the remainder of the day. Withdrawing his love for her he made her beg for his forgiveness to get back in his good books. He is sure he heard her saying something about there being a panini thief around, but he couldn’t be sure. He needed a rest before he had to go and tackle any more crime and prevention.

If you ever need a food spillage expert to come to your area for a major clean-up operation, just give Munch a call. He knows you will appreciate him more than his maid does.

Confessions Of An Eye Rolling Enthuisiast

Tags

Animals, Dog, Drama King, Eye Rolling, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle

To my fellow eye rollers, I am writing this post on your behalf to educate the static eye gang on why the art of eye rolling should be pursued. Now, if we were having this conversation around 60 years ago, us eye rolling enthusiasts may have been called flirts due to the fact that our dramatic eyes were a sign of flirtation, but I can assure you that my eye rolling is usually due to another reason. Well, if there happens to be a nice-looking Labrador in the vicinity (especially light-coloured males), my eyes may do some old-fashioned rolling. In normal circumstances however, my eye rolls are just a visible by-product of wearing my emotions on my adorable face.

Many two legged less hairy beings (aka humans) believe that us dogs do not roll our eyes but let me assure we do. Admittedly, my eye rolling behaviour was non existent before I moved into my maid’s house, but the eye rolls soon began when I realized what I was expected to put up with. After my guide dog graduation in my bright new harness, I was told that I was ready to be a fully working dog. Nobody told me how hard the work was though. I mean, I sometimes must even work up to 2 hours a day in harness. I know what you are thinking, how do I cope? This is where the eye rolling talent comes in as I can let all those around me know that I am not impressed. To be fair, the maid cannot see me rolling my eyes, so I am extra thoughtful to her and just give her loud sighs.

Here are a few situations that you may see me roll my eyes in protest and I know that you will feel my pain and fully support my visual display of distain.

1. When the maid wants me to get out of bed before 7am for her to take me for a walk (which means working).
If, however, one of my favourite dog walkers comes to take me out for a nice walk and free run, I am totally fine with that.

2. If I must go out walking in the rain.
Swimming in lakes and rivers is totally fine with me but not rain.

3. If the maid tells me off for eating Angus’s cat food.
If she wants me to work for her, she must understand I need fuel to function at such high levels that I do.

4. When the maid refuses to go and retrieve the ball that she has thrown when we are playing catch.
I will maybe retrieve the ball for the first three times and take it back to her to throw but then it is up to her to throw and retrieve the ball and attempt everything to get me re-engage in the game.

5. When all the two legged less hairy race complain about my anal exhales.
They have yet to master the art of appreciate the organic aroma that I produce and share with others, they really need to live more by the sharing is caring motto in life.

6. When the maid takes me to clothes shops.
Unless there is a Pet food aisle in a shop, I do not want to be there. Hoovering up stray bits of dog or cat food (I am not fussy) that has fallen on the floor from a ripped bag is me demonstrating my helpful nature. I do not wear clothes so therefore such shops don’t interest me.

7. When playtime ends.
When I am put back in my harness by my maid or on the lead by one of my dog walkers, my eyes will roll in protest. Play and sleep are the only two modes that I can ever be found in and surely, they don’t want me to sleep all day, do they?

8. When I gently take food out of any hand that is at my level and get told off for it.
I am polite and I never snatch. If there is food at my level, it is obvious that they want me to have it as they know that a regal being such as I need to be fed. Apparently, taking food off children is frowned upon. What a stupid rule as they are usually the ones with the tastiest of foods.

9. Having been told off yet again for digging up the flower beds.
I am a dog, I dig, Get over it.

10. When the maid uses that annoying sing song voice and talks to me in a childish voice.
I am far more intelligent than she will ever be so why she talks to me as if I am a baby I will never know. I have trained her and my other staff well and they should know that I should be spoken to like a king.

Eye rolling is just my way of expressing that whatever you are saying or doing is not okay with me. I am Munch and I am an eye rolling enthusiast and always will be until the day that my maid and other staff learn their wrong doings.