4 Year Partnershipversary.

Tags

Animal, Anniversary, Blessed, Blind, Disability, Drama King, Free spirit, Guide Dog, Healing, Help, Hiden Dissability, Kindness, Labradoodle, Life Purpose, Positivity, Thanks, Unconditional Love, Vision Impairment, Working Dog, Worth the wait

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There are certain dates of our life events that will forever stick in our minds. We will always remember what we were doing, who we were with, what we were wearing or a certain heightened sense that lays dormant in our memory when a key moment in time happened. For me, when I have just finished playing peek-a-boo (which I don’t do enough of) wearing a dress covered in yoghurt and Wotsit crisp crumbs curtesy of my gorgeous granddaughter, in the house full of my noisy family chattering away loudly, I remember the time the phone rang. Here was the change that I had been dreading and eagerly awaiting in equal measures. Guide Dogs had matched a suitable dog for me and wanted to arrange to meet up. Seventeen months of waiting was over. My “unusual” guide dog was ready to change my life forever.

I still remember that uneasy feeling in my stomach after putting the phone down. We had arranged to meet sweet Minster a few days later but I was unsure if I was ready to let the world know that I had a sight problem. When you keep the severity of your disability hidden away from loved ones for so long, the reaction from others is always a fear. What if they do not believe you? Worse still, what if they pity you? What if I did not connect with the dog? What if the dog did not like me? All these fears were just imagined problems that never cropped up anywhere in life, only in my head. The truth was, life was going to change forever, but in the most positively magical way possible.

When Minster (or Munch as he has become affectionately known as) came bounding through the door on November 17^th, 2016, he had decided that this partnership was going to work. He would be the boss from day 1 (apart for in Angus the cat’s world, where Angus remains King) and our training together would go fine. He would make himself at home on whichever soft furniture took his fancy (shhh, don’t tell his trainers), he would command affection by the Royal wave of his paw, create hilarious drama at every opportunity and project his adorable personality to loved ones and strangers alike. He was here to stay and be the neon sign to the hidden disability that I had kept to myself for 38 years. Subtlety has never been his strong point, but authenticity has.

This 100mph couch-potato is the gift that keeps on giving. Giving me immense independence to carry on working and living a full life, seems just a tiny part of this gift. The partnership we have developed has allowed us to go places I would never have gone alone. He enabled me to win Bronze for Wales in VI Bowls, which was only possible after he gave me the confidence to admit that I had a VI in the first place. His extroverted charm enabled us to meet people who I never would have met without this secret weapon to everyone’s soul. He helped me write an award-winning book that would never have been written had my disability remained hidden. To sum up what mind-blowing ways Guide Dogs help their owners (or their maids like in our relationship), is not an easy task but what I would say is this. They are portals into lives that we never would have lived without them.

4 years on and Munch still bounds though life in his puppy like ways, causing mischief and mayhem wherever he goes. Whilst on harness however, he is the perfect poster boy for Guide Dogs, taking his work life serious as he sashays with pride in harness. He has prevented my previous frequent falls and injuries, stayed by my side in hospital after surgery and healed many a broken heart in work and not once has he stopped being a natural born healer. The beauty in his sweet nature is that his loyalty belongs to whoever needs it at that moment in time. It seems that his Guide Dog duties are just one of his life purposes as he glides through life being of services whatever way he can. He is the best teacher that anyone can be blessed to live with in everyday life.

So, thank you Munch for deciding that our partnership would work from day one. You have given so much to me, family, friends, our clients, and strangers alike by never being anything but unconditional love. We still have a few years left of a working partnership and I promise when you do retire you will be even more spoilt than you are today. The doggy kisses and love that you dish out freely will return to you in abundance as your Karmic bank account grows day by day. I promise to up my daily worshipping rituals to you each day and keep telling the world about the superpowers of you and your hero Guide Dog colleagues. Thank you for the eternal gift of being you.

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Return to Happiness

Tags

Animal, Blessings, Disability, Dog, Drama King, Food, Guide Dog, Happiness, Helping, Hidden Disability, Humour, Kindness, Labradoodle, Meaning of lIfe

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Just like that, we were back.

Fifteen weeks on and we were back in the shop like nothing had happened. To us, not much had changed. Blurs (or people, as the sighted like to call them), sauntered around on their own missions to get out of this supposedly germ infested place as we were guided by our friend’s  voice to watch out for people and objects.  Having been blessed to have friends, family and online shopping services do our shopping for us over the last fifteen weeks, we had not stepped foot into a shop, so I was unsure what to expect. Munch had not been in full work mode for a while, only slipping on his harness for short walks around our home area. I was a little apprehensive of how he would feel going back into full work mode, but he amazed me on how eager he was to get back.

Practically yanking me into the place that he once resisted going, I guessed this shopping trip would be easier than I had thought. The history of Munch and shopping has not always been a positive one but clearly this break has made him re -evaluate his acceptance of the place that fills his belly with love from all the edible goodies all around. As we swiftly passed the clothes section that he has never been a fan of, his prancing pace quickened, avoiding the two-legged race with perfection. A quick sniff out of his favourite vegan cheese that he is rather partial too and we were well on the way to the second aisle. All the fears I had of not being able to see to social distance was gone as my harness wearing hero worked in partnership with my vocal coaching friend as they helped avoid upsetting anyone by walking into them. Munch was back on top form.

I swallowed the guilt of the questioning thoughts that I had been having of Munch becoming deskilled with his time off from proper work as he proved me wrong. With ever prancing paws he placed on the shiny supermarket floor, he was obviously on a mission. As we glided through the scent of  celery, cotton fresh candles and freshly baked products from the bakery that alerted my olfactory gland to where we were in the supermarket, I knew that Munch had this all in hand (or his yeti like paws more like). The calling of the third aisle became too much for Munch as he quickened his Olympian worthy pace as we rounded the corner resembling a pair of pivoting ice skaters. It was only when the stench of dried meaty canine bliss and cat nip covered treats intruded my nostrils that I realized what Munch’s hurry had been all along. He had finally come home to the aisle where his heart was. The pet food aisle.

His longing to return to this sense filled sanctuary was plain for all to see. His excited panting echoed along the tins and boxes that lined the shelves of his favourite thirty plus foot space EVER. The smell of new tennis balls wafting from their net packaging alerted me that we had reached his favourite toy section. For some strange reason, he took his time to put his best paw forward in this part of the shop and was in no hurry to leave. It was only after a pack of treats and new toy later, that I knew he would be ready to sashay through the rest of the shop. We remained here for some time for him to savour the moment and reconnect to what his food driven soul had been missing. His return to normality had begun.

If there is one thing that Munch has taught me during our time together is that appreciating the simple things in life is all that matters. Following this helicopter tailed happy chappie throughout the rest of shop I realized that witnessing his happiness and the happiness in others is what life is all about. The simplicity of the effects of a smell, the feeling of returning to contentment and focussing on the basics in life is all that is needed to return to happiness. I knew that when his sloppy kisses covered my face when he leapt into the car after the shopping trip, he was thanking me for taking him back into bliss. The return to happiness is sometimes simpler than we think.

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When The Mighty Fall

Tags

Animals, Dog, Drama King, Humour, Labradoodle

She calls herself a dedicated maid who loves me so much but here I am having to rely on a supermarket toilet hand dryer to give me the blow dry that I should be receiving everyday as part of my grooming regime.

Do you think it is too late for me to request new staff members who treat me with more respect and appreciate my regal ways? Here she is bringing me to a common place and not even apologising. The untrained eye may see me as just a guide dog and not the King that I really am.

She makes me walk and refuses to carry me because apparently, I am too big. She refuses to give me all her food when I look at her in “that way” with my adorable eyes and only gives me bits whilst muttering “don’t tell anyone form guide dogs or the vet that I am giving you this”.

She makes me shower when I don’t want to. I will swim in rivers and the sea whenever I get a chance, yet she finds it puzzling that I will not walk in the rain. Apparently to the maid it is odd, but I think she is the odd one who expects me to be reasonable with her. I don’t do reason very well. I overheard her once laughing and saying to a friend that she doesn’t think I am trained when it is obvious that SHE is the one that is not trained. I have high standards that she clearly has trouble meeting such as now.

Here I am, King Munch having to rely on a hand dryer to get the blow dry I should be getting daily. Appearance is everything to a handsome fella like me so does she think that daily brushing is enough for the upkeep of my public persona? My telepathic pleas for a permenant personal poodle pamper staff member has fallen on an unreceptive brain so what is a dog to do? The only way to get through to her to demonstrate my needs is obviously to show her although she cannot see. By stepping between her and the hand dryer each time I am hoping that she will get the message that I should have a far more deluxe version at home for my personal usage which I will choose at my convenience.

Could you do me a favour please? If you ever see me lowering my standards and getting blow dried in public could you, please give my maid a nudge to tell her that she needs to install a full doggie grooming parlour in my residence please? Between us we will educate her on my needs as a regal being. Falling from my pedestal is never easy so please send loving thoughts my way until my correct positioning in the hierarchy in the family can commence. Much doggy love sent your way.

Confessions Of An Eye Rolling Enthuisiast

Tags

Animals, Dog, Drama King, Eye Rolling, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle

To my fellow eye rollers, I am writing this post on your behalf to educate the static eye gang on why the art of eye rolling should be pursued. Now, if we were having this conversation around 60 years ago, us eye rolling enthusiasts may have been called flirts due to the fact that our dramatic eyes were a sign of flirtation, but I can assure you that my eye rolling is usually due to another reason. Well, if there happens to be a nice-looking Labrador in the vicinity (especially light-coloured males), my eyes may do some old-fashioned rolling. In normal circumstances however, my eye rolls are just a visible by-product of wearing my emotions on my adorable face.

Many two legged less hairy beings (aka humans) believe that us dogs do not roll our eyes but let me assure we do. Admittedly, my eye rolling behaviour was non existent before I moved into my maid’s house, but the eye rolls soon began when I realized what I was expected to put up with. After my guide dog graduation in my bright new harness, I was told that I was ready to be a fully working dog. Nobody told me how hard the work was though. I mean, I sometimes must even work up to 2 hours a day in harness. I know what you are thinking, how do I cope? This is where the eye rolling talent comes in as I can let all those around me know that I am not impressed. To be fair, the maid cannot see me rolling my eyes, so I am extra thoughtful to her and just give her loud sighs.

Here are a few situations that you may see me roll my eyes in protest and I know that you will feel my pain and fully support my visual display of distain.

1. When the maid wants me to get out of bed before 7am for her to take me for a walk (which means working).
If, however, one of my favourite dog walkers comes to take me out for a nice walk and free run, I am totally fine with that.

2. If I must go out walking in the rain.
Swimming in lakes and rivers is totally fine with me but not rain.

3. If the maid tells me off for eating Angus’s cat food.
If she wants me to work for her, she must understand I need fuel to function at such high levels that I do.

4. When the maid refuses to go and retrieve the ball that she has thrown when we are playing catch.
I will maybe retrieve the ball for the first three times and take it back to her to throw but then it is up to her to throw and retrieve the ball and attempt everything to get me re-engage in the game.

5. When all the two legged less hairy race complain about my anal exhales.
They have yet to master the art of appreciate the organic aroma that I produce and share with others, they really need to live more by the sharing is caring motto in life.

6. When the maid takes me to clothes shops.
Unless there is a Pet food aisle in a shop, I do not want to be there. Hoovering up stray bits of dog or cat food (I am not fussy) that has fallen on the floor from a ripped bag is me demonstrating my helpful nature. I do not wear clothes so therefore such shops don’t interest me.

7. When playtime ends.
When I am put back in my harness by my maid or on the lead by one of my dog walkers, my eyes will roll in protest. Play and sleep are the only two modes that I can ever be found in and surely, they don’t want me to sleep all day, do they?

8. When I gently take food out of any hand that is at my level and get told off for it.
I am polite and I never snatch. If there is food at my level, it is obvious that they want me to have it as they know that a regal being such as I need to be fed. Apparently, taking food off children is frowned upon. What a stupid rule as they are usually the ones with the tastiest of foods.

9. Having been told off yet again for digging up the flower beds.
I am a dog, I dig, Get over it.

10. When the maid uses that annoying sing song voice and talks to me in a childish voice.
I am far more intelligent than she will ever be so why she talks to me as if I am a baby I will never know. I have trained her and my other staff well and they should know that I should be spoken to like a king.

Eye rolling is just my way of expressing that whatever you are saying or doing is not okay with me. I am Munch and I am an eye rolling enthusiast and always will be until the day that my maid and other staff learn their wrong doings.

Munch’s Day Of Drama

Tags

Animals, Book, Books, Dog, Drama King, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle, Writing

We were all set and ready to go.
There we sat, with one of my favourite authors of all time, ready to be filmed. Munch lay chilled out between his feet and I tried getting comfy and pretended to relax. See, Munch and I have a very different relationship with the camera. He adores all the attention and either gives his best poses or makes the one in charge of the camera work hard to get the shot. I on the other hand shy away from the camera as much as possible.
It was a dream come true as we got ready to be interviewed about my book by the brilliant Dr David R Hamilton. For those of you who have read his fascinating books, you will know that his knowledge of the mind and body connection is mind blowing. The pure passion that he has for his work is infectious and makes you start seeing your life in different way. On of my favourite books of his is The Five Side Effects of Kindness which makes you want to live your life in a whole different way right from the word go. He so generously agreed to endorse my book What You See When You Can’t See, and this interview was the icing on the cake.
The interview started well with David starting with the best opening line ever by saying “You had me at Hello” as he enjoyed the book from the first page. My nerves disappeared and we casually went into a lively conversation about the book. His interviewing techniques were so natural, and the chat flowed with ease until a funny odour began to emerge. Do you know when you think you smell something weird and then as if by innate curiosity you have to breath a bit deeper to check and regret it the instant you do it? Well that happened as soon as I smelt the rancid anal exhale of Munch.
Panic set in and I tried (but failed) to keep a neutral face as my body pleaded with me for some fresh air and I denied it its wishes. I felt so bad for David who just carried on so professionally and unfazed where I was losing my trail of thought as my brain screamed out for some oxygen amongst the green smog of Munch’s insides. Luckily, the cameraman halted the interview for a bit and poor David commented that as he was in the direct line of fire for Munch’s body part it had gone right up his nostrils. Thanks Munch, just thanks. What a way to make an impression.
We also had a pre-launch meeting at the office for book which focussed on possible book translations, media coverage etc which was so fascinating to be in. The work that Hay House Publishing put in behind the scenes is immense. I felt so blessed that these experts in the field oversaw promoting my book. We left the office on a high and minus the incident of singing poor David’s nostrils with Munch’s toxic fart, all had gone fantastic. The rest of the day was surely going to be just as great wasn’t it?
A nice walk in Regent Park in London was a must to let Munch to have a bit of off duty freedom. Walking in the grass he suddenly went limp and couldn’t put any weight on his right front paw. The poor soul began to roll around in the grass in pain and began licking his paw constantly trying to heal in. I was with my friend Steve (who is luckily fully sighted) who checked his paw over to check that there was nothing stick in his paw. We panicked as it looked like it could be an injury of a bone or a ligament, so we knew he needed a vet asap. We had a train to catch in 2 hours-time, so we rang around to get an appointment with a local vet.
As if by magic a local vet had one in an hour and a half’s time which was cutting it a bit fine, but it would have to do. The only issue was the Munch could not walk. Here we were over 200 miles away from home, in the middle of a huge park with a 6 stone Labradoodle needing to get to the vet which was a mile away. This was going to be fun. Uttering the words “we need something on wheels to move him” to Steve started the ball of manifestations rolling. He looked around and saw a Park Warden van in the distance, so he ran over to ask them if they had any ideas. They kindly offered to give us a lift out of the park and to a taxi. Steve carried Munch’s bulky body over the green and into the awaiting van as Munch leisurely took in the sights around him with his head held high. In the van he began whining again in pain. The Park Warden parked next to a taxi and Steve began phase 2 of the moving Munch operation and carried him into the taxi. Phase 3 was completed as he listed Munch from the taxi and into the Vets. Witnessing his pain was horrible.
Luckily as soon as we walked in, I heard the receptionist on the phone tell a client that they had missed their appointment, but they could swap for the time we were booked in for, so we had their appointment. The vet took us into the room and examined him and took him straight down to the treatment room. Ten minutes later, in bounded Munch happy as anything and was ready to take us home. Apparently, something had gone into the hair between the paw pads and made it a bit red. The dramatic rolling around on the grass in pain and whimpering that he was doing throughout, I thought that there may have something far more serious. £90 later and still in time to catch our train, we started out journey home.
I think it is fair to say that wherever Munch is drama will always unfold.

Maid. Where Is My Limousine?

Tags

Animal, Dog, Drama King, Expectations, Guide Dog, Humour, Regal

Due to the historical general implication of what street corners are famous for, standing on them does not appeal to me. Not wanting to be questioned for loitering with intent, I usually pass them by like any law-abiding citizen. Munch on the other hand has other ideas. For the last week or so, there has appeared to be a magnetic draw between his derriere and the floor on street corners. This puzzling behaviour has got me both worried and intrigued as it is so out of character for him. I have been scared to Google “street corner doggy behaviour” just in case I find something I shouldn’t.

The first time that it happened, I was concerned that he had an injury of some sort and could not walk but after I gave him a quick check over I ruled it out. Next on the mental check list was maybe he was thirsty, so I gave him some water in his bowl that I always carry but when he turned his nose up at this I knew that it must be something else. When his planted derriere still wouldn’t move I wondered if there was an obstacle in the distance that I couldn’t see which would have made him stop in our tracks. After zooming in on the location around us with the maximum capacity with the camera on my phone, I couldn’t see any obvious reasons for his odd behaviour. After what felt like an age, he finally got up, sighed and walked on.

This strange behaviour continued to happen a few times over the following week in different locations. The answer to his odd behaviour came a couple of days ago when he was in sitting protest mode. As a taxi slowed down and pulled up slightly further down the street from us, he decided to shoot up off the floor at record speed and try and pull me towards the taxi. It was then that I realized that this Diva just wanted a ride. Steering him away from the taxi muttering “no it’s not for us” to the stroppy soul, I twigged that he had been waiting for a lift each time. As our work days have increased over the last month we have been catching more taxis, buses and trains, so he just thought that we were getting a taxi to save his poor paws.

Munch’s sense of entitlement is always present as he saunters through life. Not one to break a sweat in his working life if he can help it. he is quite happy to be transported around by any means possible. Why walk when minions can come and save his paws from over exertion? If he can stretch out and snooze in any type of vehicle whilst being chauffeured around, his Highness is happy. The term “working dog” feels like a trade description breech when he in such dormant mood. Expecting such a regal being to walk when he can be carried, is such a failure on my part and I must try better in the future to meet his needs.

I think it is time for me to start saving up for a limousine to transport him around. I think it is only fair also that I arrange in advance for him to be greeted at each destination with a red carpet for him to feel that his status is honoured and respected. Maybe it is an idea to hire a full-time chef for his catering needs as one cannot be expected to eat any old slop. Who do you think would be best to design his robe and crown for his royal duties? Would it be too premature to arrange his inauguration for the masses to attend or should I wait until there is public outcry for his leadership?

My little Minster Munch has taught me many things, with patience being a main one. Findings ways around his demanding nature is always pleasing to my problem-solving loving mind. Until he is lying stretched out in his limousine wearing his bespoke robe and crown with a belly full of fine dining, he may have to make do with pounding the pavement with his paws with shop bought treats enticing him along the way. Sorry Munch, we all must slum it sometimes.