The Peace in Grief

Tags

Acceptance, Animal, Comfort, Dogs, Expansion, Grief, Meaning of lIfe, Mother Love, Munch, Oneness

My mother passed away nearly a month ago and Munch has not been the same since

Just as his picture took pride of place next to her bed, her loving imprints remain treasured in his heart. As he lays on her couch that now lives in our home, he connects to her scent that belonged to her alone. Her beloved soft toys now belong to him as he keeps them close to remind him of the times where death was a concept not yet known.

The atrocity of grief hit him immediately as he lay crying beneath her hospital bed moments after she passed, as he tried to anchor her soul from transcending to a place without pain. His whimpers have only now begun to quieten as he adjusts to life without her beautiful physical form as he enters into the peace in grief.

The whimpers were far from quite at her funeral as he along with loved ones said goodbye to one of his favourite animal whisperers he ever met. His heartbreaking goodbye echoed into the ground as she was lowered to lay in peace knowing now that she now lived elsewhere. This new home will be a place we will visit often and continue to bless with love and eternal gratitude.

The alien concept of apathetic hunger is now leaving and being replaced by his usual ravenous raids on the edible and non edible world as he reminds himself of the food lover he once was. His personalised Bach rescue remedy made by a friend is slowly beginning to make his tail propel as it once did pre-grief. Slowly but surely the peace in his grief is resetting him to learn to live with the loss of a treasured member of his pack.

Grief is more varied than prescriptive, where rules do not exist yet coexist all at the same time. The sacredness of life runs deep across species and is felt in multidimensional ways that we will never truly know. Our grief is a personal experience that will never match another identically but can unity souls that once were estranged.

Resting alongside Munch in the peace in grief has deepened our bond even more as we experience this as one. Dogs grieve not just owners but anyone within their lucky pack that have shared moments in time that just belong to them and nobody else. Peace is a place that can be found anywhere even where you would least expect it. When we learn to rest in Peace in life, we can learn to be at peace with grief.

The Living And The Lived

Tags

Alternative, Awareness, Death, Expansion, Full Circle, Inner Peace, Life Purpose

We may never know the peace in death until we become it.

We forget to see the oneness of all until we arrive in it.

We underestimate the power of breath until we are without it.

We are not them and they are not us, but we will experience being both.

When bridges are crossed and wings are gained, the circle completes.

When the chapter of pain ends, the new chapter in the after party begins .

When souls return to the one true home, there can be nothing but bliss.

We are not them and they are not us, but we will experience being both.

They pass into a place where conciousness has evolved into purity

They are received with unconditional love by those who are waiting

They are free to live their dreams which they could never do on Earth

We are not them and they are not us, but we will experience both

Let peace be present on both sides of your bridge

Connect to each other to feel the oneness of all, no need to wait

Breath into each moment to live with passion

We will be them and they were once us, and we will experience both

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes…

Tags

Acceptance, Animals and Children, Blind, Disability, Dogs, Equality, Expansion, Guide Dogs

“Do you have eyes?” has got to be the best question  that I have ever heard when it comes to asking why I have a Guide Dog. I was asked this amusing question by my son in laws beautiful and sweet niece over the phone. I mean to an inquisitive 4-year-olds brain it totally makes sense to ask this question. She heard her family around her speaking that Munch was my eyes as I could not see, which was a fantastic  child friendly way to explain why people with sight loss need Guide Dogs to help them get around. After answering this sweet girl’s question that yes, I do have eyes, but they did not work very well, I went on to explain that it is a bit like physically having ears but covering them with your hands and not being able to properly hear. Just to ensure that I was’t  telling her lies she asked to video call me and  Munch to firstly see if I had eyes and what Munch looked like which was one of my favourite and funny  video chats ever. The total innocence in such curious minds will always make my heart swell with love.

As the universe was doing well to carrying on this inquisitive streak that week, only four days later I had another encounter with a child who wanted to know what sight loss really meant. Again, his version of what he had heard about sight loss and Guide Dogs was an alternative one which also held a lot of humour. Whilst walking through a corridor, a boy who sounded aged around 11-12 stopped us for a chat. His amusing greeting went a little like this “I feel really sorry for Guide Dogs as you have to help them around the place all of the time.” Now I am the first to admit that I trail behind my Lord and Master Minster Munch, and I am his mere maid but I was struggling to know how this boy knew this. As the conversation progressed it turned out that he was under the impression that “Blind Dogs” meant that the Guide Dog was blind and that the people walking alongside them (the owners, or staff members in Munch’s case),  were guiding them. He was amazed to find out that  it was the other way around and that these heroic dogs helped us. His reaction was so heart-warming to witness as he had learnt something new that day.

Sometimes, actions speak louder than words and this is especially true with children. In a counselling session the same week as the other two endearing moments, a young boy acted out his inquiring mind in the room. His interest lay in how blind people could work and get around in life without having adequate sight. My explanation of us using our memory skills and other senses meant nothing to  this little scientist so experimenting was the only way. His constant questions of “what am I doing now then” needed physical actions on his part he felt, so the fun and games began. When I told him he was wearing boots, not shoes as not only could I hear zips on his boots but also, I could hear more material than shoes he was stunned. Unfortunately, I could not tell him the colour, so I lost points on the superpower scale. Being accurate on what side he was leaning towards on a chair was 100% accurate as I told him I could hear the pendant on  a chain he was wearing sliding across links, made him up the stakes. He was gutted when his attempt to hold the pendant in place was not enough to throw me off the scent as I continued to say which side he was leaning towards from the creak of the chair. As I passed more tests from him, he finally gave up when I told him that he had just drawn a circle as “it sounded round as he drew” as his pen never left the page and moved in a smooth sounding way. He was not doing these tests to be disrespectful; he was doing it to see what life was like through my eyes and to also build on the therapeutic relationship.

I love it when people and especially children and young people ask about sight loss as how else are they meant to know what it is like otherwise? I love it when I hear parents explaining to children in supermarkets why I am allowed to take my dog into the shop when they cannot. Children and young people have ‘play doh’ like brains that shape and mould to create ideas from the world that they experience to help concrete ideas to form that they will use throughout life. Unless they ask, they shall never know so I hope these questions keep coming our way so that we can be part of their future world. Never be afraid to ask questions that you do not know as these are the questions that many are afraid to ask

Loving Yourself Like A Five-Year Old

Tags

Acceptance, Acts of Kindness, Alternative, Animals and Children, Blessings, Blind, Connect, Expansion, Guide Dog, Meaning of lIfe, Munch, Perfection, Service

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What does my Five-year old granddaughter love about herself?

“I love my hands as they help give things to people. They can also do sign language to people who cannot hear.

I love my eyes as they can help see things for people who cannot see, just like you Mam.

I love my ears as they can listen out to help people who are deaf.

I love my mouth as I can talk to people who need to chat”.

I have always known that she was a beautiful soul, but I never realized just how bright her light within was constantly alight until I asked her this simple question. This glimpse into the mind of an innocent five-year-old who has yet to query her worth in life, took me to a place that I wish we could all live. These ideas have not been forced into her mind in any way, they have just emerged from her authentic perception of what it is really like to live in a world  with others with needs that are sometimes greater than her own.

She was just nine months old when Munch my adorable Guide Dog came to live with us so she cannot remember a time where Munch was not a permanent fixture by my left-hand side on days out. She has always been my eyes. When I drop something, she picks it up without being asked.  She holds things close to my face so that I can get a better view of the blurry object and she mastered using my white cane as soon as she could walk, just because she felt like it. To her sight loss is no big thing, it just is part of her grandmother’s life.

Munch to her is not a Guide Dog, he is just family.  I was told once by her teacher when I picked her up from school, that they had asked that morning what the name of my dog was. She looked puzzled at them and asked what dog ? With Munch weighing six stone and his head measuring thirty-three inches from the floor clad in a bright yellow and white harness, she thought they were talking about some other dog.  She told them he was not a dog; he was just Munch.

When children grow up with disabilities and other differences around them, they can only see normality. They accept the whole of a person as they are and know no different. Children who grow up alongside difference see an expanded version of the limited world other’s live in. They learn that for every problem there are a multitude of different solutions and they learn to love unconditionally and never with condition. They are the teachers that speak with the wisdom that we never thought we would here.

When a five-year old talks of including those in society that are often left feeling excluded, they will never be alone. It is this type of child who accepts without effort or limit and sees beyond barriers that need never exist. Kindness can only come from a place that it organically exists if it is to be omnipresent in every situation in life. When we are choosing to be kind in life, we are choosing to live an enriched path that will never see us alone.

What do I love most about my granddaughter? Her pure existence and everything that it entails.

Why Fear Should Never Win

Tags

Acceptance, Animal, Connect, Disability, Expansion, Fear, Full Circle, Guide Dog, Hidden Disability, Labradoodle, Life lessons, Unconditional Love

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If I had stayed in fear, I may never have a chance to kiss this gorgeous velvety nose.

Dogs were never really my thing. I never really ‘oohed and aahed’ over cute little puppies running around. This was partly because I could not really see them but also partly because I never really trusted them. I did not have full blown Cynophobia, but they were not my favourite animals to be honest. I was never bitten by a dog growing up or was scared in anyway by any, but I always had a healthy respect for the fact that they could turn if they felt threatened.

We had a cross Collie whilst growing up called Cindy who was with us for ten years until she passed when I was around fourteen. She was more human than dog so I kind of forgot that she belonged to the canine kind as she would come with my brothers, friends and I as we played Fox and Hounds and football. I was surprised that she was never scouted for a top team as she scored more goals than any of us put together. Cindy was one of us, other dogs were not.

I had a healthy respect for the ability of dogs to turn if they were threatened and therefore kept away from them.  This was one of the stumbling blocks that I was hanging onto when I decided to apply for a guide dog. The  main excuse I gave myself from applying for a guide dog was that maybe people I knew would question why I suddenly turned up with a guide dog when the majority of them never knew I had been registered as severely sight impaired (previously known as registered blind)  for a number of years. The other main reason was however that I was not sure if life with a dog was really for me.

What would happen if I did not learn to read the dog’s signs of distress or if they were too hot and frustrated? What if I could not pick up on the cues that they needed something that I did not know about? What if the dog did not like me? What if the dog did not like coming into schools with me for me to carry out my job? The negative ‘what if’s’ snowballed more than the positive ‘what if’s’ until I got over myself and started turning the scenarios on their head and saw love instead of fear.

What if I tuned into the dog’s happiness as soon as I met him/her? What if I used my knowledge of their dislikes to arrange our lives to avoid them? What if our intuition synched so that we naturally picked up on each other’s needs? What if the unconditional love between our both species had no limit? What if the dog became part of the staff at the schools that we worked in and had his/her own fan club? My natural positivity trait began to chase away this alien negative frame of mind that had invaded my life. How would I know what life would be like with a guide dog if I was not going to try?

Three and a half years on, it is easy to look back and laugh at the imagined fear that nearly kept us apart. This face that lights up the life of many may have rested upon another sofa if I had not opened my mind beyond the sticky pit of fear. His strands of hair that lay across the house may have had to be vacuumed up by another hoover and his muddy paw prints would have to be mopped up into another bucket. Most devastating however may have been that his big squishy velvety nose may have been kissed by another pair of lips.

Facing you fears and doing it anyway will always bring about the unexpected and for me, it was magical. This mischief maker was worth the gamble. Turning fear into love may not be that hard after all.

See With More Than Your Eyes

Tags

Alternative, Expansion, Senses, Sight Loss, Unconditional Love

With heads tilted up towards the sun, they feel the energy that lovingly gives to the living. They follow their magnetic footsteps that draws them to their destination that they know off by heart. Feeling each step-in turn, they collaborate with their memory to ensure that they are on the right path. The wrong turns that they make will be the centre of the new knowledge that will lead them into new territory.

Each heart-beat lures them to the place that they need to go to find their true-life purpose and allow the dramas to magically disintegrate around them. As the energy that they carry through life merges with the energies of loved ones and strangers around them, they see deep into the souls of each one they meet. The flickering of the internal compasses is the judge of who will stay or go in their life.

Intuition is omnipresent as all decisions are made by the expert of the gut. Whilst the untrained go through life ignoring what their body is telling them, the intuitive know that they must listen to the source that has never let them down before. Knowing what keeps them safe and puts them in danger comes from the internal voice that is always on their side and helps them manifest all the good that is available to all if only they took time to look.

Having spent so long detached from the intoxication of visual pleasure all around, they begin to see the world in a different way. Connecting to something that is much deeper than the vibrating atoms that are around them each day, they learn to see things that others simply see past. Life does not start and stop in their field of vision but expands across the whole of humanity where the true meaning of life can be found.

The unified existence of all living things becomes the driving force in life. The basics of life never change over time and is witnessed in the most complex of situations. The predictability of life is the base of decisions that seem impossible to make but are made all the same. Seeing past the problems that are placed in our way can only lead us to discovering the options of solutions that are waiting for us to discover them.

Choosing to see with more than your eyes, expands your world in unbelievable ways. Using your eyes to live your life in equally ways of using your senses, heart and intuition allows you to see with clarity in the unseen world. True blindness does not come from lack of physical sight, but from the lack of insight that you choose to see. Chose to investigate parts of life that you never knew existed and begin to discover what life is about.

Sight see from the inside to wholly experience the new world around you.

Ask Away

Tags

Alternative, Education, Expansion, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Hearing impairement, Kindness, Motivation, Questionning, Reality

Why is it that we go through life seeing the same old things surrounding us until we cross paths with a burst of newness that is fascinating and inspiring? This law of universal attraction then seems to give you an open access pass to be drawn into an alternative reality that had always coexisted along side your own that you had never been aware of. Clusters of people from this alternative reality then magically enter your world and teach you things that you really need to learn. Things always happen for reasons that will serve us the best.

For me, it is the world of the hearing impaired that has been opened to me and taught me things that I may never have known. Over the last few months, more and more of my clients have had a hearing impairment so it has been key to understand what this means for them, As there is no “one size fits all” approach to any diagnosis, I always feel that it is important to ask not only what I can do to make practical things such as communication easier but also to ask questions that need to be asked. From this I have learnt about what daily life is like and have learnt about aids and adaptations that can be useful to those with a hearing impairment.

I am ashamed to say that I never knew that there were vibrating alarm mats, pillow speakers, adapted music systems, flashing smoke systems and many other things. Such practical aids seem like common sense needs for many, but I had never stopped to think about these aspects of life in someone with a sensory impairment I knew very little about. What I have learnt from working with my clients over time is that it is ok to ask questions that many are fearful of asking in case they cause offense. Swapping information about how the hearing impaired and the visual impaired worlds deal with daily life has been an education to both sides.

In the past I have been asked the most random questions of how as a blind person I do things. Many have asked how I pick up Munch’s poo if I cannot see it (no easy way to say this but my poo bagged hand feels for it), how can I see I have the right dog (trust me, Munch doesn’t stray far with a pocket full of treats) and how do I know what aisle I am in whilst shopping (I believe I may be part sniffer dog as I can smell the difference between the laundry aisle and the biscuit aisle). The questions that tumble out of innocent mouths need to be answered in truthful ways. There are some answers that are hard to put into words though.

I tried to explain to someone the other day that you can sense a person in a room even if you can’t see them. Explaining that everyone has their own individual energy about them that differs from the next may be believable in sci-fi films but hard for all to comprehend. I was out with a friend when I told her someone we knew was somewhere around as I could sense her, and she freaked when she appeared 5 minutes later from another part of the building behind us. If I could have seen colour in the way sighted people could, I think I would have seen it drain from her face.

Asking questions helps us to understand the lives of others and gives us insight into similar lives we live regardless of our differences. The answers that we get are sometimes not what we expect but that is okay as our minds always need to expand to help us understand the world outside of our own reality. Out of the 80,000 people that we will meet in our lifetime, we will all live life differently. When questions come from the right place, the answers can teach us to step outside our own reality and into a reality where possibilities have replaced barriers and nothing but opportunities exist. So, begin asking the questions that can also change your own life for the better.