Different Sized Packages, Same Size of Love.

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Animal, Blind, Children and animals, Dog, Great teacher, Guide Dog, Happiness, Kindness, Labradoodle, Love, Pets, Sight Loss, Unique, Work And Play

It is true what they say, good things do come in small packages. Our good small package came in the form of my granddaughter. It was this adorable small package that was an instant calming measure on my high-speed hurtling heavy goods canine that had joined our household. Swirling like a tornado through the house, off duty Munch stopped in his tracks when he met my nine-month old granddaughter for the first time. He engaged the new sight of this small two-legged friend by sniffing, licking and nuzzling into her, whilst she looked on bemused. She must have wondered why one of her soft toys had come alive and started acting bizarrely. This puzzled look still reappears 17 months on when he is in full acting mode.

At first, I was a little bad minded and thought his total love towards her was because she was the best food dropper ever as he became a permanent fixture next to her highchair. As soon as I mention her name, his ears prick up and he waggles his body with sheer delight. Apart from the cupboard love he gets from her, he loves her toys more than his own and often runs off with them expecting a good game of chase from her. It soon became obvious that his total adoration and utter devotion to her goes way beyond her dropped Wotsits and stolen Peppa Pigs. He loves her for the tranquil, blissful energy that she brings to him. This tiny level headed, authoritative granddaughter of mine can calm the little mischief maker with a look and command which is more than I can usually do.

She has a sagacious way about her that goes way beyond her tender age of two. She nurtures her family, friends, Munch and toys like a true earth mother. She emphasis her thoughts and feelings like an Oscar winning actress as she wears her heart on her sleeve. Whenever she is in the room with Munch they merge into this beautiful blissful bubble that transcends the animal and human divide. She treats him with respect and with great softness when they are together. When one of them sleeps, the other watches over their sleeping soul mate protectively. She sees past his wild haired body and his doggy breath and treats him as an equal in her love filled world. She is the pure love that he thrives on and vice versa.

As like attracts like, these two beautiful souls are a perfect match. When off duty Munch becomes on duty Minister, he guides not only myself but my granddaughter too. He steers her away from debris on the pavements or obstacles that she may miss. He stops at pavement edges and she models his behaviour. He stalls at a hazard and she, rests by his side. They work as a team. When out working, he may have gently removed a sausage roll from her hand and placed it into his stomach once or twice, but she never seems to care. They love each other unconditionally. If we all got along like these two special souls, then our lives would be far more harmonious. Regardless of what size package we come in, goodness is the only choice that creates the loving unity that we all deserve. Choose your packages wisely.

My Face Recognition Device

Tags

Animal, Blind, Dog, Great teacher, Guide Dog, Happiness, Labradoodle, Pets, Sight Loss, Unconditional Love, Unique, Visual Impairement

Faces have always been a mystery to me as I have never been able to see them unless close up in pictures. This is only possible if I can inspect the detail in the picture at a nose length away. Recognising people has always come from other clues. From hearing their distinct voice to hearing their unique footsteps and every imaginable sensory subtlety in between, seeing people has always been possible through ingrained memory as apposed to ease. When my four children were babies, I could see their general appearance when I held them in my arms but as soon as they became to big to hold, they became too far away to see. This is the only time that it ever really mattered to me.

Having four children under the age of six meant that at various times they all became similar heights so recognising them became harder as time went on and I had to be vigilant in the clothes that they wore to help distinguish them from one another. As my eyesight deteriorated even more, I began wondering how I was going to use my methods of deductions to distinguish between masses of similar looking blurs. My solution came in the form of a nosey, fan seeking, intelligent face recognising device a.k.a. my Guide Dog, Minster Munch. He only needs to see a face once to be able to memorize, categorize and prioritize that face into his elephant like memory system.

The memorizing is probably the easiest part of the process for him. He has this ability to leave an impression on the people he meets and therefore he memorizes the reactions that he initially receives. He memorizes the exact location that these people can usually be found, whether it be in certain shops or houses. Next comes the categorization of these new found faces. Categories include the easily manipulated ones, the dog treat carriers, the eager doggy kiss receivers, the chin stokers, the non-fussed and his fun time walkers. The prioritizing of these faces then depends on the mood that he is in on that day. If he is after a free run with one of the fun time walkers then he may bypass an easily manipulated one to meet his need on that given day. This Face Recognition talent works wonders for both him and I.

As he begins to quicken his pace towards an oncoming blur, I know that it is someone we know. The pace of his quicken strides gives me an indication of how well known they are to us. If it is someone that is close family or a friend, he may also begin to get a little bit excited, whining to alert me that the loved one is near. I love this about him as although he may be more interested in what he can gain from his oncoming friend, he is linking me to the sighted world which has always been impossible for me to do alone. Without him, the faceless blurs I love living amongst, remain a mystery to me. He has now become my eyes that I have never properly seen through. This Face Recognizing Device will always be one of my favourite gifts that I have been given, and he only requires treats, fuss and love to run on. How amazing is that?

Finding Happiness In Your Own Snow

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Animal, Blind, Dog, Great teacher, Guide Dog, Happiness, Individuality, Labradoodle, Pets, Positivity, Unique

Happiness is not an illusion to be chased but a belief to be embraced. If we listen to the media today, we can be led to believe that happiness is being sucked out of humans into a vortex of misery that has magically appeared. When an expansive gap between your expectations in life and the realities in your actual life appears, then this is where that vortex of misery that is so commonly talked about can engulf you. Would the simple answer to this therefore be, to expect less and appreciate simplicity more?
Living with Munch over the last 14 months has taught me things about the simplicity of happiness and how easy authentic happiness can be. Dogs and other animals never really question their success, relationship statuses or life goals, they just deal with the here and now. I am not suggesting we all sniff and pee against lampposts but implementing their outlook on life is not such a bizarre idea if we really stop to think about it.
Bouncing around like a lamb in the snow was Munch’s idea of ultimate happiness. No risk assessment, carefully planned itinerary or scheduled time was needed, he just followed his happiness and lolloped straight into it. It resembled the same happiness he gets from playing with any moveable or immovable object, sniffing until his nostrils become numb, sticking his tongue in a stranger’s ear to give his doggy kisses or diving between legs for a doggy hug. The simplicity in his happiness could teach us a lesson or two.
Happiness is not an outside emotion that only a chosen few can have whilst others are forced to suffer. Owning our own emotions regardless of our outside circumstances, is where we really learn to embrace life. When Munch was bounding around in the snow, he felt the natural joy and happiness from within before anyone could witness his outside happy appearance. Finding your own snow to be happy in is just as simple.
When I ask clients when they were last happy, a surprisingly high number really have to stop and think. When we are too busy searching outside ourselves for things to make us happy, we are forgetting about the things that already make us happy. Reconnecting to an old book that you used to love or visiting a favourite old haunt will never cease to bring your innate happiness bubbling back to the surface. Why keep striving when you arrived in the happiness zone years ago.
The Beauty in being Blind is that I have no external point of reference to measure happiness against. I really don’t care what someone looks like, but what I do care about is what makes them happy. When my friend who took Munch’s picture described to me how Munch was loving playing in the snow, my happiness shot off the scale. Finding your own authentic happiness can be as simple as finding your own snow to play in. Just ask Munch.

Children and Accepting Difference

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Childrens Acceptance, Diversity, Great teacher, Individuality, Kindness, Positivity, Unconditional Love, Unique

The brain operates happily when surrounded by sameness. As soon as something comes into our awareness that is a little different, it can throw a bit of a wobbly. The amygdala in our brains can fear the unknown and distrust this new concept that we are faced with. The only way the brain feels like it can cope with such uneasy feelings is to call on the neurons in the mesolimbic system to release that pleasure giving dopamine transmitter that happens when we return to the comfort of our ‘Sameness Tribe’. Basically, the brain would rather stick with what it knows than be scared by difference. Luckily as we have evolved, our understanding and acceptance in the world has increased due to better education and general knowledge about diversity.

Embracing difference has been a hot topic for some time, so what can we do help sustain and deepen this? Teaching children about diversity is essential in today’s society, it is estimated that 95% of the World population will experience physical and/or mental health conditions at some time in their lives so it is inevitable that children will be exposed to some form of ‘difference’ in life. Childhood is the best time to learn acceptance and non-judgmental attitudes due to the welcoming neuroplasticity of the brain and can control how they perceive the world. Here are a few ways and reasons why you should help your child embrace difference in others.

Highlight difference and then normalize it – When a child sees a new object, it is natural that they will always want to explore that object and question. It is no difference when they experience an individual that they meet that does not fit into their ‘Sameness Tribe’. They are not making loud comments or asking cringe worthy questions to embarrass the other person, they are just genuinely interested. Don’t be afraid to explain to them why an individual may look or act differently. Honesty is key. I often hear children telling their parents that dogs are not allowed in shops, so they ask why I have my Guide Dog with me. That is such a valid point as they are still learning about the world around them and need to know the answers. Highlighting the role of Guide Dogs there and then allows them to connect new information to real life situations.

Encouraging them to step out of their own comfort zone – Life will always be full of surprises no matter how hard you try to control otherwise. Remaining in your own comfort zone may keep your amygdala happy but life can become riddled with uneasy feelings if this comfort zone gets taken away form you suddenly. Explaining to children how other people cope successfully with adverse situations is essential to the developing mind. Positive role models of people living with diversity will allow a child to develop coping strategies, acceptance, non-judgemental attitudes, resilience and adaptability. These qualities are essential for a healthy outlook on life.

Prepare them for their own differences – The best gift a child can ever have is to feel comfortable in their own skin. Mental health and wellbeing of an individual can be adversely affected if they do not feel accepted by the outside world. By modelling acceptance of difference in others, children learn to identify their own uniqueness which can prevent internal conflict if they ever feel different in some way. Such an acceptance will allow them to develop a positive mental attitude in becoming an individual regardless of sameness or differences in themselves and others.

Help increase Theory of Mind – To effectively function in the world we need to not only know about ourselves but also about others. The intents, desires, beliefs and thoughts of others minds as well as our own, can help us connect empathetically and create meaningful relationships with others. It is important that children learn from a young age that they are equal to others and are never more or less important than the next person. Helping a child understand that an individual may appear to be different but their core values, needs and wishes in life are equal to their own, allows empathy to develop.

Support unconditional love and compassion – Children are innately accepting and loving towards others. Changes to this innate way of being can come from outside societal influences and not from within so it is key to keep this innate loving way of being alive. Children who love unconditionally, see the world in a more positive light and don’t want to ‘fix’ another’s imperfections. Having compassion for others also allows their own self love to grow at the same time. By encouraging these two qualities in a child life, they will become that best friend, that everyone wishes they had.

Not only do we teach our children, but they can also become our greatest teachers in life. Having such compassionate teachers in this world, would make the world a far nicer place for all to live in regardless of if they belong to their ‘Sameness Tribe’ or not.

The Clumsy Patchwork Quilts

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Animal, Blind, Dog, Great teacher, Guide Dog, Hidden Disability, Hiden Dissability, Humour, Individuality, Labradoodle, Pets, Sight Loss, Unconditional Love, Unique, Vision Impairment, Visual Impairement

Themes weave through life like a multicoloured patchwork quilt and not one persons is ever the same as the next. Many quilts are full of themes of excitement and adventure whilst others have a little more serenity about them. The day that my patchwork quilt met Minster Munch’s, it was clear to see that our quilts had many of the same themes. Many were positive, showed strength and then there were the other ones. I soon discovered that my clumsiness theme ran alongside his in perfect sync. Within this clumsy synced theme, we both developed the by-product of having the tendency to get stuck in the physical way. Combining both of our clumsy characteristics was a match made in heaven.

The photo in this blog was taken when Munch and I were staying in a hotel room whilst away at a weekend workshop. To keep us both amused we were playing ball in the room which on reflection was maybe not a good idea. As he scrambled under the bed to retrieve the ball, he got a little stuck. After what seemed like an age, I wondered what was taking him so long to come back out as he had dived in at speed. I had to take the photo to zoom in at the maximum level to see where he was and found him just lying there. He could not figure out a way of reversing out so just lay there until I lifted the bed for him to saunter out at his own pace whilst the bed was mid-air. After his third time of getting stuck under the bed that day I decided to put the ball away whereas most people would have after the first time. I learnt that day that his manoeuvring techniques may not have been at their best. I am sure they are only worsening over time too.

To be fair on him, getting stuck is sometimes just a matter of miscalculated judgments as he has obviously never learnt about angles and such. When he sees one of his loving fans, he likes to shoot between their legs for a cuddle. Apparently, this is common doggy behaviour which is lucky as I really didn’t want him getting some sort of restraining ban for inappropriate behaviour. Back to this angle thing. Munch had come with me to my Uncles funeral and after we had left the service we went to speak to the people who had attended. I was sat by my mother in the funeral and Munch bless him had been on his best behaviour, but he changed when he went outside as he could sense a more relaxed atmosphere. As he adores my mother so much, he dived in head first between her legs for his cuddle. The only problem was that my mother is only 4’ 11” with 25” inside legs and Munch is a rather tall dog. With the angle that he was at mixed with my mother s long skirt now shortened and stretched over his body, my mother could not escape. So, after he had finished his cuddle, he tried to move off but didn’t realise that even with my mother balancing on tip toes, escaping was a little difficult. Any onlookers would have seen the back of this petite lady’s body with a dog sticking out of between her legs. Not the most common sight in a funeral. As Minster Munch tried to move away he took my mother with him as she could not get off him. As he trotted off, my mother resembled a backward facing jockey holding on for dear life. It was okay thought as after we had finished laughing, we did manage to help lift her off as we kind of helped her tip to the angle she needed. This hasn’t put him off giving people cuddles in this way though, if anything it has made him to do it more.

These are just two examples of his ability to get stuck. Karma taught me recently though, not to mock him. Whilst out shopping I needed the toilet so we headed off to find them. As he is such a big dog he cannot normally fit into normal sized cubicles so sometimes we have to use the disabled toilet. This one time I thought the lady’s toilets were slightly bigger than normal and he would be okay in them. As he went into the cubicle first I tried to push past him I realized I had misjudged the size and realized we both wouldn’t get in. Ever the optimist I was determined to make this work so I stepped over him carefully. To make things easier I thought I would hover my foot above the toilet and pirouette around on my other leg to close the door. My un-ballerina like body had other ideas and my hovering foot made the biggest plop ever as it landed at a funny angle in the toilet bowl. On a plus side, Minster Munch managed to close the door with his nose, so the original plan had worked. As he turned his back on me and sighed loudly, I swear he was rolling his eyes too. I was now left trying to figure out how to get my foot out of the toilet. I had not long come out of a full leg cast after dislocating my knee and causing soft tissue damage for the umpteenth time, so I knew I could not just pull it out as I really didn’t fancy doing more damage to not only my knee but also a paramedic’s state of mind if I needed to call for help. After managing to balance on the cistern of the toilet with my other leg I gently persuaded it to come out with a promise to disinfect my foot when I got home.

As I squelched home, I vowed never to mock Munch’s issues with getting stuck again. Matching a clumsy woman with a clumsy Guide Dog means at least we have a colourful patchwork quilt together.

The Weapon Of Blindness

Tags

Blind, Childrens Acceptance, Great teacher, Guide Dog, Hidden Disability, Love, Positivity, Santes Dwynwen, Sight Loss, Unconditional Love, Vision Impairment, Visual Impairement, White Cane

As she fought off obstacles that were not there, she swung the white cane from side to side daring anyone or anything to get her way. Attracting some fellow onlookers who fancied a go of her new-found weapon, she zoomed across the room at a speed that could make her heels smoke. Not caring what anyone thought of her, she continued her travels. As her feet picked up pace so did the speed of the cane and I knew there would be a collision soon, so I gently guided her towards the side of the room and took the Weapon of Blindness back under control. She fell into a sobbing heap on the floor. It was hard being 2 years old.

This is what happened when I took my granddaughter to an indoor play area and took my Weapon of Blindness instead of my Guide Dog Minster Munch. He had come with me before to this play area but wasn’t feeling too good after eating yet another forbidden object so was replaced by my extendible white friend. In the past, I could sense some of the poor parents’ apprehension about letting a dog that was twice the size of their child near them. Today however, the parents seemed more uneasy that I would bump into their children with my cane.

To restore the fun in my Granddaughters day, I gave her the new toy back. What was amazing was that I had never used the cane in front of her before today and she saw me use it for all of 5 seconds before whipping it out of my hand for the first time. She began using it correctly. She did not bang it around or push it along in front of her but moved it swiftly from side to side enough to swing it not much further than the width of her body in a perfect manner. She had taken 5 seconds to learn something that had taken me 4 weeks to learn.

As I walked behind her holding onto her sides like we were doing the Conga, I realized that she was doing it right where I had been doing it wrong all along. Her focus was only on getting from a to b and did not give a flying frisbee who saw her and what people thought of her. Here I was being given one of my greatest life lessons by a 2-year-old elder. Surrendering to the now, she had no plans, she had no past she just had the fun of being one with the Weapon of Blindness. As she held it steadily in her hand (which by the way was at least 4 times her height) she knew no fear, no limits, no shame.

I vowed today to live more like my little warrior. As she takes the cane off me and happily trots around the play area with other kids following her begging for a go of this Weapon of Blindness, I fall more and more in love with her authentic self. The freedom to meet challenges with power, comes from breaking our own imagined ties to fear-based restrictions. So today I will live by my granddaughters’ mantra in life. “ Gooooooooo”.

The term Weapon of Blindness for the white cane, came from a young boy’s experience of holding one in a talk I was part of for World Vision Day.