“Well, his official name is Minster as he was sponsored by Lincoln Minster Prep school, but I have nicknamed him Munch”, joked the trainer that had brought this beautiful hairy soul into my life. It wasn’t long before I knew why his nickname had come about.
Led by a typical Labrador stomach, Munch cruised through life hoovering up unwanted food debris with utter dedication to this life path that he had chosen. One of the advantages of being a guide dog was that he could go places that other dogs were not allowed. Working alongside his maid in different schools around the area meant that he had a lot of ground to selflessly cover in relation to removal of food waste. Not a break or dinner time went past that this hard-working soul was not on high alert for removing any food-based slip hazards that the two legged less hairy race could slip on. No corner remained unexplored on his shift.
Just the other day he was faced with preventing an urgent food spillage that was about to happen right before his eyes. As his maid was taking him through the reception area of a school, he spotted a potential health and safety hazard about to occur on his patch. Being the ever-vigilant hero that he is, he knew he had little time and had to act fast. Prevention was always better than cure, so he stepped up to the mark without a second thought for his safety. There in front of him dangling at face height was a chicken tikka panini in a careless hand. Knowing the damage that such a spillage could cause on the carpeted floor he sprang into action and put his own safety on the line. Saving the school cleaner a messy clean-up, he did what any decent citizen would have done and went in for the chomp.
Rescuing the whole panini in his mouth, he stood with pride showing off his heroic skills. The gasps of the astonished people all around him was obviously a shared appreciation of his bravery wasn’t it? As he stood with half of the panini poking lengthways out of his mouth, he pondered how he was going to get the whole lot in his mouth at record speed. It was in that moment that everything changed. Out of nowhere, the cruel hand of the maid came around to remove the mid-air panini part out of his mouth for some strange reason. There he stood, the top food spillage preventor around, being relieved of his duties. How could this be happening?
As he quickly ate the remaining of the chicken tikka panini that was safe in his mouth, he heard a lot of commotion from the two legged less hairy race. The maid was saying sorry a million times for some strange reason and there was a lot of giggling going on around him. As the maid offered to buy the pupil a new panini, he stood in utter amazement that nobody had stopped to thank him. After all those years of perfecting his cleaning up skills, nobody could see that he was just being of service the best he could. What had the world come too when a top dog is no longer celebrated? The mind boggles.
Entering the office in reception a few moments later, he received the standing ovation that he rightly deserved as the three receptionists laughed at his little show. With his helicopter like tail rotating in excitement, he allowed the ladies to come and stroke him. The maid was still rambling on about some “little monkey” that she knew but he did not know what she meant. A quick sniff in the bin under one of the receptionist’s desks gave the ladies in the office the all clear from any potential food disasters. Regardless of the maid carrying on about being embarrassed by that little monkey that she kept harping on about, he went straight back into his professional role. He was not a quitter.
Arriving back in their counselling room with a full belly and job satisfaction, he drank two bowls full of water and settled down for the afternoon. The lack of appreciation from the maid filled him with disappointment. He decided to put her in the doghouse and give her the cold shoulder for the remainder of the day. Withdrawing his love for her he made her beg for his forgiveness to get back in his good books. He is sure he heard her saying something about there being a panini thief around, but he couldn’t be sure. He needed a rest before he had to go and tackle any more crime and prevention.
If you ever need a food spillage expert to come to your area for a major clean-up operation, just give Munch a call. He knows you will appreciate him more than his maid does.