Working With Humans

Tags

Blind, Blogging, Dog, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle, Patience, Photography, Sight Loss

How many times can she get it wrong?
Today has been so frustrating. I have been sitting here like the perfect Labradoodle that I am and there she is being the typical scatty maid as she is. Humans are the weirdest creatures ever. We have been here for nearly two hours to record a video of us which will last less than a minute. We would have finished much sooner if my daft maid could string a sentence together without saying “Um” and “no, start again” over and over whilst speaking English, Welsh and Martian all in the same sentence. Why couldn’t the Guide Dogs have matched me with someone more efficient?
Luckily it was my favourite dog walking footman that was with us as he encouraged us to have lots of breaks in filming and led us all to a huge field so that I could have a well-deserved run. Meeting other dogs here meant I could remove my regal robes (or harness as some people not in the know call them) and exercise my gracious body. I even led other dogs to believe that I was an equal as we played together and not the King that I secretly am. Such fun.
Unfortunately, after I had had my well-deserved break, we were back to getting yet another video completed where apparently the maid had gathered her thoughts and was now able to string a sentence together to record the short promotional video for the Writers Workshop for the publisher that we needed to film. I am seriously considering getting another writer for my next book to ensure that not only does everyone know what an amazing guide dog and everyday Idol that I am, but also to let the world know how frustrating it can be when you really can’t get the staff to do what you want.
Working with humans has taught me many things which are.
– They are so fussy about things that they really do not need to be fussy about.
– They need to sniff often, play more and love everything.
– They over complicate the simplest of tasks. Either do or don’t. That’s it.
– They need to run like no one is watching and chase their non-existent tail just to know what it is like to be in the moment more.
– They need to realize that a picture of you from any angle is a good angle because you are perfect just as you are.
We finally got to finish the video when the maid’s mouth became friends with her brain again and I was free to sashay away with grace. Humans can be so hard to control.

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Meet The Staff

Tags

Alternative, Dog, Entitlement, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle

There is this bizarre rumour that has been spread across the globe over the decades that dogs have owners and only cats have staff. What a lot of old tosh. I am the King of my home and utilise my staff whenever required. Let me introduce you to my servants.

Chief Maid – It is because of this one that I landed up living here. All through guide dog training school, I knew I was destined for something big. My charming good looks got me extra attention so when I arrived in my “Owners” house (pfft, as if), I had mastered placing spells upon people to make them do as I want through my pleading eyes. The chief maid accompanies me on my royal visits and tends to my needs. She is under the impression that I am her hired help, but everyone else knows different.

Head of PR – This one that I have hired is used when I am out and about without my chief maid, He also doubles as a footman among other things. He accompanies me out in public when I fancy a free run without my robe on (or harness in common terms). He is responsible for answering questions about me to those who stop and ask. Not only does my PR tell people that I am a Labradoodle not an Irish Wolfhound, but he also informs them about my alluring personality, regal ways and high standards.

Lady – in-waiting – I do realize that this role is usually used for females of a high ranking such as I, but I am all for Equal Opportunities so I felt it was only right that I had access to one. She is the kind eldest daughter of the chief maid and always ensures that I have everything that I need and is always at hand to make my life more comfortable whether it be a quick massage of my body or ego or ensuring that my sleeping arrangements are good enough for me.

Chauffeuse – There is a need sometime to be taken somewhere in style as it cannot be expected of me to walk everywhere. My Chauffeuse is the beautiful second daughter of the chief maid and is well trained enough to know that I will only get in and out of the car in my own good time and not on command. Her patients with me is appreciated as she has learnt over time that I do things at my own pace and in my own unique style. I may not do the royal wave to the cars that travel behind me on the road, but I do acknowledge them with a slight nod of the head when I am upright and happen to be glancing in their direction out of the rear of the car.

Royal Butler – The third born to the chief maid is a son who I have made my butler. This loving soul understands my needs so well and ensures that I always have what I need. In fact, he understands me so well that I have taken over his bedroom. If I lie on his bed, he is always there to fuss over me. He feeds me sometimes when the chief maid is not looking, and she has even ordered a larger bed now so that I am able to stretch out on his bed a little more and maybe allow him a tiny corner to sleep in. I know, I am all heart towards my staff.

Personal Trainer – The youngest of the chief maids’ children who is the one that is sporty like me. Well, I mean we both love to play with a ball although I obviously cannot be seen to be huffing and puffing too much to the common onlooker so I only play for a limited amount of time but my amazing personal trainer always tries to help my warrior like ways by play wrestling, stick pulling and taking me on assault courses full of mud. This is where I leave my inner pup out to play away from the eyes of those who expect me to be in my work mode. He is my perfect partner to make mischief with.

The Nanny – Technically, this may not be the official title, but this is the adorable granddaughter of the chief maid. She ensures that I always have toys around to play with and we always go on the hunt together for things that we should not play with but are fun all the same. I loved it when she drew on the walls at my eye level so that I could appreciate the artwork in my own art gallery whenever I wanted. She drew such a masterpiece until the spoil sports painted over it. She is so caring that she always pampers me and babies me.

These are just my main members of staff, I also have a nutritionist who is the mother of the chief maid who always gives me tasty treats that my chief maid always tries to ban as apparently, I need to lose a little weight. Huh, she listens to that vet far too much. I also have two royal guides who take me on fun walks when I go and visit. They are the father and brother of the chief maid so when I get to visit that fun house, I get fed lovely forbidden foods and taken for glorious walks and do not have to work. Ah bliss. I also have a stylist who I visit every three months or so to make sure my eye brows are on fleek along with many other staff members that I am too tired to write about as I will be needing my fifth nap of the day soon,

I hope all my fellow canines out there have such loving staff members around them because we are more than worth it. Happy training.

The Hairy Party Guest

Tags

Birthdays, Bond, Children, Dog, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Life lessons, Love

I only stumbled down a couple of steps once. What a result.

Being in a monotone room may sound like paradise for many, but if you have any type of sight loss, when the seats, carpets, steps, bar and doors are all varying shades of brown, it is not the ideal, but it is just how some rugby clubs are. Luckily my son and daughter were in front of me to stop me falling too far and injuring any of the excited souls that were running around.

It was my granddaughters 3rd Birthday party and there were squeals of delight coming from all directions. I just love the sound of happy children.
Munch had temporarily left the building and gone for his second walk of the party. He had just done a two mile walk with my lovely father who adored him and now his chief dog walker had arrived to take him for a play on the field, so he was one happy dog.

Around me, family and friends were my eyes and confirmed in my ear who was standing in front of me talking to me. Due to their sweet helpfulness I could imagine what was going on around me even if I couldn’t see. Only once I went to pick up the wrong child for a cuddle thinking it was my granddaughter. Oops. Lucky the parents understood.

With the sound of the fan keeping the bouncy castle up and small bare feet hitting it, I knew that the children were having a fun time. Listening to multiple conversations going on all around me, it was clear that it was a nice time for friends and family to catch up as the children played. The enticing smell of the lovely food that my son-in-law had prepared quietened the groans of rumbling stomachs and made them content. The room went from cold to warm as energetic bodies zoomed around in true child bliss.

Sensing all this excitement made me so happy knowing that everyone had a great time. One of the best moments was when my granddaughter had come to me for a loving cuddle and Munch arrived back in the building and she went over to give him the biggest hug ever and said “I love you so much Munch. Thank you for coming”, which he answered to with a kiss. They have been best pals since she met him when he came to us when she was nine months old. His love for her goes way beyond her food dropping habits and her love for him goes way beyond showing up at her parties.
Their sweet loving souls are reflected in each other and they accept one other just as they are. Friends come in all shapes, sizes and hairiness and each one brings us something different. These two sweet mischievous souls will celebrate many more birthdays together which fills me with so much joy.

True friendship is a meeting of connected souls regardless of our species. Keep smiling through life my beautiful angels, I love you always.

Me? Behave? Of Course

Tags

Dog, Filming, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Mischief

He behaved like an angel. Not a paw out of place.
Earlier that morning, green smog had periodically filled the room from his cat food smelling flatulence. He had only taken a nibble of a client’s ham roll which was offered to him and he demanded attention from only two of the teaching staff as he commanded them to keep stroking him with a swift tap of his paw on their hands. Sometimes, non-royals needed a little prompting when it came to address such regal beings, but Munch did not mind doing that. Needs must and all of that.
With all this behaviour escalating before the cameraman arrived, I began to worry that he may have one of his more animated days, where it seemed every moment of the day was Oscar award worthy. I crossed everything that he would behave and pretend that he was a well-behaved guide dog and the inner impish clown would remain dormant until filming was over. A quick promise of a nice free run after work here and a threat of no more treat that day there, and it appeared that he was weighing up the pros and cons of behaving as I put my case across.
I need not have worried as when the guide dog PR arrived first, he quickly identified her as one of the Blue Team. Munch, along with many other guide dogs, can identify geode dog staff a mile away. Not only are they dog lovers who must have a lovely hint of Eau de Canine about them, but they also all wear blue works clothes that Munch loves and respects. He may not listen to the non-blue team members in life, but he certainly acts in his best behaviour for these, showing what a good boy, he is. His personality transplant needs to be seen to be believed.
Laying down sweetly on the floor, he quietly snoozed away as we waited for the others to show up as we chatted away about what questions we would be asked. Even when they entered the room, he only got up for the briefest of moment to have a sniff of the dog loving cameraman and the interviewer. He then returned to his bed for a snooze as everyone prepared. I was beginning to get worried that he had remained still all this time and genuinely thought that he may have ben coming down with something as this was not his natural way of being.
Despite making the cameraman do all the work, moving around his snoozy body instead of him moving and looking the opposite direction that we wanted him to, he behaved well. Gracefully gliding down the corridor towards the camera, he didn’t put a paw wrong. As they all fell deeper in love with this perfect guide dog, I think they thought my claims of his mischievous ways we talked about earlier were all lies. His hypnotic innocent eyes drew them all into his angelic ways and made the room fill with “ooohs and ahhhs”. The Munch magic never failed.
I, on the other hand let the side down. Here he was, acting all professional and there I was acting all amateur. We filmed in both Welsh and English and I have a feeling I made up a third language along the way which I suppose could be classed as Martian. I went into my automatic divergent way of thinking when asked questions and gave answers that were not on the same planet let alone the same topic. I avoided all the intelligent sounding information that I had planned in my head and spoke about how to find cheese in a supermarket when blind. Finally, sentence structures went out of the window and I appeared to encourage the “Uuum’s” and “You knows” out of my hesitant mouth with my conductor like hands that were rotating through the air. I could sense Munch’s amusing impatience with me.
I think the moral of this story that I learnt was never to judge another’s capabilities when I cannot do better myself. I take back all the eye rolls I have ever given you Munch and accept all of the exasperated sighs that I know you will direct to me over our life together. I am ready for you to teach me your version of socially acceptable behaviour your Heiness. What could possibly go wrong?

1 Year Blogiversary

Tags

Achievement, Anniversary, Blessed, Blogging Blogiversary Writing Thanks, Celebration, Gratitude, Labradoodle, Sight Loss, Writing

Here we are, 1 year on, 104 posts published and 1,148 followers on WordPress later. Befuddled is an understatement of how I feel when I think how this happened.

Like most starting out in the world of blogging I had no idea how it worked or how it would turn out but I have always loved a good challenge. I did wonder if writing about sight loss and life with a mischievous, attention seeking guide dog would provide enough prompts to keep the blog alive but I didn’t need to worry after all.

From the start, I have loved reading other bloggers posts and it still blows my mind how each blogger makes such an impact on my life and the lives of many others. Hearing everyday stories from bloggers around the world is far more informative than any news programme can ever tell me about the world. These talented bloggers speak about the true world that many know little about.

The name of this blog came about from living life in the sight loss world, that many in my life knew nothing or very little about. Over the year I have shared stories about little Minster Munch’s adventures and had beautiful comments left on the blog about his typical dog like behaviour that brings a smile to many a dog lovers face. Hearing the amusing stories of other dogs on writers blogs has left me feeling better about the perplexing and comical world of canine behaviour.

The support among bloggers by encouraging each other’s writing is an environment that has to be witnessed to be believed. Grammar police and trolls rarely exist but you can find enthuisiast of the written word and personal cheerleaders in abundance. These are the type of people you could spend all day chatting with and never run out of words.

Thank you so much to those who have continued to read my waffling words and been nothing but kind. Writing two blog posts a week keeps the spirit of writing alive. Never having suffered from writers block only writers diarrhoea, you are very patient people who deserve medals for your patience. Knowing that you want to read about a matching pair of odd socks in the world warms our hearts.

Thank you so much for the dedication you put into your own fascinating blogs. Google would be under threat if you all clubbed together to enlighten the world with your own areas of expertise. Each individual blog can read like a classic book that mesmirises the masses yet is a discovery waiting to be unearthed by that one important person who will make it famous.

With greatest of thanks for following our first year and we hope to share many more years with you. Much love from Munch and his maid.

The One Who Always Gets Away

Tags

Alternative, Dog, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Mischief, Work And Play

Have you ever been to a Children’s concert where there is that one child that is happily doing their own thing whilst every other child does what they are meant to do? Well, Munch is the canine equivalent to that. During our free runs, most other dogs can be found near the heel of their owner and listening obediently. Then there are the Munch type of dogs that explore every corner of the open space that they can find. Tongues flopping freely out of one corner of the mouths, these dogs seem to be oblivious to anything else but opportunities.

Munch’s version of a good time includes an abundance of grass, easily led dogs to corrupt, rivers to practice his aqua aerobics in and muddy puddles to splash in. Anything else is a bonus. If stray sticks end up as a temporary play object, so be it. Passing dog walkers who part with a treat or two, all the better. A fenced off field full of friendly looking cows to prance over to say hello to, just his thing. A ditch full of muddy water to accidently fall into but remains playing in for a while, his idea of heaven. Combine all of these and you get one happy dog.

When we got asked out on a doggy play date, I knew that he would be one very happy dog. When Dolly the stunning chocolate Labrador and Rocky the handsome Chihuahua come to pick us up to go to a dog friendly country park, he was so happy. When we got there, he was the first to leap out of the car to execute his mission to run like the wind. As Dolly and Rocky had the odd sniff, Munch was miles ahead in any obscure places he could find. My panic for his whereabouts was always calmed by my kind sighted friend.

Even when our shoes were sinking in soggy mud on the wrong path we accidently took and my arms resembled a windmill trying to stay upright, he rustled away in some far away bush. Dolly and Rocky remained with us as we comically carried on and my friend become my caring guide as my guide dog was away on his travels without a care in the world. The guiding long cane, a steady replacement for Munch, never stopped to sniff or pee once so all was good. Hearing his high-speed running in surround sound around us, made me so happy as I knew his heart was content.

Being in harness by my left-hand side when he is working must be so tiring for him and it shows his dedication to his jobs which I will always appreciate. This free-spirited off duty side to him is the one that I love to see the most though as he floppily bounces through nature doing his own thing in his own way. As he goes away on his adventures that he will come back from soaking and caked in mud, I cheer him on and know that he needs this space to be himself.

Being the one that always gets away can be so much fun.

Written In The Stars

Tags

Animal, Beauty, Dog, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Love, Numerology, Thanks

Getting preferential treatment is one thing that Munch is good at. It seems that wherever he goes, he manifests a whole entourage of people who pander to his needs and treat him like royalty. Up until now I have thought that it is due to his Labradoodle personality or the fact that he has been pampered and spoilt from birth. It seems however, that there may be more to it than that. When we were told by a Numerologist last week that his way of being was written in the stars, I was intrigued.

Munch being like a magnet for any spare attention, drew in a Numerologist we had briefly met before. He felt the urge to start reading Munch due to his magnetic energy. I love anything alternative and got excited when he started talking about the meaning of his name and what his date of birth said about him. He worked on his name Munch as he is affectionately known and used his birth date of 18^th December as the focal point of his tuning in. The information that he came up with could only have been known by someone who knew Munch well or a stalker, neither of which he matched.

My head nodded, and my mouth gapped open as the reading went on. This is the summary of what I was told about our little Minster Munch. He is as loyal as they come which is so very true. Loyalty in Munch’s world however, does not only relate to me but to anyone with food and can give him masses of fuss which takes us on to the next point. He believes he is the owner of many people and expects them to pander to his every need as he feels he is far greater than ‘just a dog’. His snob like personality (that is so spot on), helps him choose what he does and does not want in life. Hmmmm, has the numerologist been watching his eye rolling and sighing when he is given something below his expected standard?

Stubbornness is all part of his birth date I was told, so it’s not really his fault. Knowing this, it felt much easier to accept that it was not just my imagination that he was stubborn, It was a birth chart involuntary response that made him sit in protest earlier that day on a walk and not the fact that he wanted a taxi or bus home as I originally thought. His dramatic way of life and larger than life personality was his destiny and not the fact that he was spoilt from birth. He was not born to be a shrinking violet and his sense of entitlement was always meant to be.

Apart from all these diva-like qualities that are hard to ignore in him, he also has some of the most loving qualities possible. He is a friend to everyone he meets and loves to spread his joy wherever he goes. His sensitivity taps into people who need it and he has a calming nature that the neediest feel. He knows no fear as his bravery is as strong as can be. Lastly, his intuition should always be trusted as he senses things that we may be oblivious too.

Out of all this spot-on information about him, the nicest thing to hear was that he is happy being a Guide dog. The sense of purpose that he carries through life pleases him. Being of loving service to myself and others he meets along the way, helps to keep his tail wagging on day after day. His perfection that was written in the stars makes me fall deeper in love with him as time goes by. My naughty but nice dog was born just at the right time in just the right way.

My Lucky Life

Tags

Animal, Blind, Dog, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Sight Loss

“I am so sorry to hear you have lost you vision” said the blurred figure in front of me. The sincerity in his voice was sweet but my ears tried to deflect the genuine regret onto someone who really needed it. Standing by the bus stop on the way back from work, we had spent the last ten minutes talking to someone who knew me but I had no idea who they were. I did not recognize his voice or his shadowy blurry outline, but he knew a lot about me which was a little bit strange to say the least.
I always seem to forget that people use their eyes to recognize others and not voices, unique sounding footsteps or method of deductions to recognize who is there. This person knew where I lived and knew my children and I had no idea of who he was as his new voice made its way into my memory bank to be filed alongside the masses of others I had met throughout my lifetime. It must have been the puzzled look on my face that told him that I had no idea of who he was which prompted him to explain that he used to live on my street. Phew, panic over.
The first time he said that he was sorry that I had lost my sight, I felt a little shocked at what he was saying as if I am honest I had never felt any regret from loosing my sight. This was however not a thing that you could share with everyone as it was not an easy concept to explain. The fact that I usually forgot that I could not see can be hard to comprehend so I usually kept that one to myself. Explaining to others however that I had gained so much insight from my sight loss may still have been alien to them but my reasonings may be a little easier to understand.
My sight loss although is not ideal, is not fatal. Unlike some of the other side effects of Marfan Syndrome, sight loss was inconvienent but not life threatening. If I had perfect sight from birth I don’t think that I would have the unique view on the world that I am blessed with. I would not have learnt to think outside of the box and learn alternative coping strategies to make me lead a fulfilling life. I would have not met others that I know in the sight loss community either that have enriched my life. Most importantly, if I had fully functioning vision then I would never had met Munch. So sorry I am not.
I loved the sentiment of this blurry figure that stood in front of me as he was coming from the most compassionate place and thanked him but even after explaining to him that I was thankful more than sorry he just didn’t get it. It is never easy to understand another person’s life when we only have our own lives to match it too. It is sometimes those who appear to be without that are the actual ones that have the most enriched lives. I love my life and all that it has brought and would never want to change anything about it. I am thankful every day for the lucky life that I lead and hope that we can all someday start to appreciate how lucky we truly are.

The Guide Of My Life

Tags

Animal, Children, Dog, Education, Freedom, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Kindness, Labels, Labradoodle, Love, Mobility, Thanks

The day was over. I could tell that he was relieved to be on the way home after a long week of guiding me around new places. Directions had never been my strong point but since loosing even more sight it had got worse. On duty Minster guided me away from the wrong turning yet again and led us into the right corridor. To the pattern loving sighted person, identical looking corridors must be ideal but to me it was a living nightmare. With no breaks in the monotonous blurry coloured walls from any shadowy landmarks, the labyrinth of alien newness seemed to continue for miles. Lucky for me Minster’s good memory kept us from getting lost.

This week, we had worked in three different secondary schools with a total of over 2,000 pupils. Finding my way to the schools was difficult enough with different routes and different modes of transport each day due to their locations. Walks, buses, taxis and trains all got us to where we needed to be. For a six-hour working day, we are out of the house for an average of eleven hours, but we have no choice as going directly by a unicorn is just not available to us unfortunately. Getting there is just the start of our day of moving around in hopeful bliss.

When off duty Munch becomes on duty Minster, he becomes the brains in our partnership. When we are shown the way through the school to our room he will remember it next time around with no hesitation. He then puts up with my dithering as I am convinced we need to go the wrong way but he stands his ground and leads us the proper way. He dodges the hazy mass of pupil traffic speeding towards us and leads me safely to the place that I would never be able to find alone. When on duty, he works so hard and never complains, he really is the magical reason that I can continue to work.

Hoovering up the dropped bits of food along the way and adoration from his surrounding fans tends to be the motivation that he needs to get him through the marathon of his working week. When his harness is slipped off when we enter our room, his Munch like qualities spring to life as he actively seeks mischief to cause. Greeting our clients with open paws and a toy to play with, he shakes off his professional persona and gets ready for some fun. Having a dog in the school has such a positive effect on the pupils and teachers alike as they gently stream in for a bit of the Minster Munch magic.

Each day when we leave work, I look forward to getting in so that Minster can transform into the Munch that we all know and love. Within minutes of entering the house I know he will be winding Angus the cat up, stealing my gorgeous granddaughter’s toys and running off with shoes. I really don’t mind one bit as he deserves to have downtime just like any one of us. After his funny five minutes hurtling around the house he will settle down for a cuddle. I hope that the thank you that I whisper into his ears each night, conveys how much I appreciate him. He is the guide of my life that I will always love unconditionally and will never stop appreciating.

I Have Missed You Human

Tags

Animal, Children, Dog, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Happiness, Kindness, Labradoodle, Love

Ah, it’s you!! I have missed you so much. The last time I saw you I licked your tears from your hands that had fallen from your face. They tasted of sadness, but I happily took them away from you as you sat there crying. As I placed my paw onto your leg I wanted you to know that I would use these paws to walk with you wherever you wanted to go so that you would not be alone. We may not be of the same species, but our love is of the same thing.
Underneath all the clean smells that you humans have, I can smell your unique scent that makes you who you are. I know where you have been over the last few days and hoped that you enjoyed every moment of it. I can smell what has been cooked around you from the smell on your clothes and I am jealous to say the least. I cannot smell what has made you cry. Is this a place that does not exist in my doggy world?
You have been to different places and eaten different things so what could be making you so sad? Is this what the human world calls problems? I know you are still a small human and not entered into the big human life yet, so things will get better soon. As my Guide Dog maid sits and talks to you we will both help you in whichever way we can, but I think my doggy advice is better than hers. Do you know what will bring happiness back into your life? This is what you need to do.
Forget you are you just for a moment. Forget you have things to do. Forget that thoughts tumble from your head and into words from your mouth. Forget that you have rules to follow and people to please. Forget what happened yesterday and forget to plan for tomorrow. Forget what or who made you cry and forget why. What you need to do is to remember my rules in life and your tears will turn to joy.
My rules are simple.
Make a choice to be happy and see the good in life.
Wag your tail over the simplest of things.

Sniff out new routes in life that you have never been before and start the adventure.
If somethings scare you or makes you sad simply walk away.
Make friends with everyone you meet as we all need company along the way.
Play at any given opportunity as life is too short for work alone.
Love everyone as you want to be loved yourself.
If you live by my rules I hope that next time I see you there will be no tears to lick from your hand unless they are tears of joy. If you ever need me to show you how I do it just let me know. Just bring a ball to a field with an open mind and watch how the simplest of things in life can bring you the most happiness. This is my idea of bliss and it will soon be yours so come and give it a go.