The Doggy Hall Of Shame

Tags

Achievement, Animals, Children and animals, Dog, Free spirit, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Mistakes, Munch, Unique, Working Dog

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Each year our canine cuties bring award winning achievements into our lives, which deserve honouring. From Gwyn the German Shepard rescuing it’s human family from burning buildings, to Bertha the Bichon Frise strutting her stuff on the Dog walk to win hair style of the year, each dog should be celebrated. There are of course exceptions to every rule. For there to be a top of the list hierarchy, there also needs to be well….bottom of the list too. Interestingly, there are some dogs that slide between top dog and mischief maker is milliseconds. The category that these furry fireballs belong too is “The Angelic Rogues”. For the sixth year running, Minster Cooper (a.k.a. Munch) has stolen the prize for his consistant and outstanding achievements in this area yet again.

Born to beautifully behaved nurturing mother Hettie (a black labrodor) and perfectly presented boffin dad Pringle (a handsome cream poodle), Munch first placed his paw prints on this world on 18th December 2014. Arguable, the naughtiest in the litter, Munch left a mark on people’s hearts (and patience levels) since day one. Never one to shy away from the limelight, Munch has always succeeded in being central to any drama that unfolds in his vicinity without fail. His expertise in deflection has always allowed him to use his innocent looks to throw any onlookers off the truth trail whilst they look elsewhere for the source of mischief.

Playing Tug of War with a fellow canine whilst using a net curtain instead of a rope, was an early sign of his creativity during his first few months of life. After getting off a flower bed after a row only to seconds later get on another flower bed (repeated multiple times) shows that Munch has wonderful decision making skills that are malleable to any situation. From these examples of creativity and decision making skills it is clear to see why Munch was destined to be …..a Guide Dog. I mean, with such a personality what could possibly go wrong?

Taking Guide Dog training all in his huge stride, Munch passed with flying colours. Obedience training must have been…interesting. With the determined poodle streak shining out for multiple galaxies to see, Munch learnt how to use his ‘On-duty angel, off-duty rascal’ sides of his personality to the max. A straight A student on harness in work mode, he learnt how to build up enough good boy points to transfer them to his time off tantrums so that he would not get in trouble. Acquired knowledge has been key in the career path of this Angelic Rogue.

After being placed with his ‘owner’ four years ago (ha ha, as if anyone could ever own him), he turned the tables pretty quick by demonstrating his world class Leadership skills. After the very first meeting, he manageaged to single pawedly turn her into his maid. Always out front in or out of harness, Munch has led her along many paths whether she wanted to go there or not. He even got her to write a book about him and how talented he was. As What You See When You Can’t See flew off the shelves in 2019, he was perplexed to why it had taken this long for anyone to say how amazing he was. He knew that not only was he the best Labradoodle in the world but arguable the best dog in the universe. It was just a shame that the maid kept bringing up some mishaps that had occurred along the way.

Admittedly, there was that incident that got his human grandmother stuck on his back after a funeral, as he attempted to take his 32 Inch high body under her 25 Inch legs, but that was just a case of a mathematical miscalculation. The wanted posters for the worlds’ biggest ball thief that just happens to resemble him is not him he assures everyone, just a wannabe. A swift investigation of an alleged pasty thieving incident from the hands of a 3 year old was quickly quashed as Munch argued she was holding it out for him to eat. Panini Gate, where Munch upped his stakes from pasty to panini from the outstretched hand of a pupil, was happily settled out of court with the gift of a replacement panini and box of chocolates. Up until now, Munch has kept his good reputation. Things did change however earlier this week.

Trotting along on his free run, he came across one of his favourite things. A stick. Unfortunately, said stick was being held in the hands of a young boy which meant only one thing to Munch. Playtime. As Munch gently attached himself to the other end of the stick and happily pranced alongside the chatty boy, a friendship was made. Unfortunately, the friendship was short lived when the boy threw the stick for Munch to fetch and Munch brought back half the stick a few minutes later. The little boys dream of fighting dragons with his once powerful stick was now shattered as he had to set his sights on fighting ants instead. Apologies were made and another stick found but it wasn’t quite the same as the dragon fighting weapon he once knew.

Stern words have been had with Munch about taking sticks off children which is just as bad as stealing sweets from them. His eye rolls and sights say it all really, the Angelic Rogue doesn’t see the fuss. He believes munching on sticks is his God given right as a dog. It has been a hard decision but it is only fair that he will be placed in the Doggy Hall of Shame until he feels remorse for his actions. The only thing is, he sees it as another badge of honour as he sits under the Mischief Maker of the Month category. He has his eyes set on the Mayor of Mayhem award which we will keep you updated on. There is always one and it’s always him!

“Can You Spare Some Snow Please” Appeal

Tags

2021, Fun, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Snow

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I think this snowperson is stuck, just like the other ones were. Where are it’s legs? Not even a nudge from my six stone Svelte hairy body is moving this solid cloud, let alone the little organic stream of piddle that I shared on it’s derriere could encourage this one to move or play with me. What is wrong with this picture?

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This is not the first one I have seen on my walk today but the third and is possibly the most stubborn. At least the first one that I jumped on moved some of it’s body as a part of the belly scattered all around me. My grumpy spoil sport Dog Walker told me to stop as someone had put hard work into making this snowperson. He actually expected me to listen, pffft. The second snowperson’s head was more than willing to come with me for a play as it bounced onto the floor after I jumped on it, but the body dug it’s heels in (or lack of) to the ground and remained put. I thought it would be third time lucky with this one but apparently not. What am I doing wrong?

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Funnily enough, these snowpeople hardly come out to play in the Welsh town we live in. Over the last 4 years of me being here, this is only the second time they have come to visit. Strangely enough, they only come out when the snow comes. It must just be a Welsh thing, they are funny like that! My maid was telling me that in different parts of the world they have lots of snow often. Why did my Maid have to live in an area with a snow drought? If we could use the abundance of rain we get to create an equivalent, I would be one happy dog but sadly that’s not going to happen.

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I can see lots of snow on the mountains a few miles away and despite trying my hardest to lead the maid in that direction whilst I am on harness in Guide Dog mode, she is not cooperating. I know she can’t see the snow and we are not aloud to do any unnecessary travel to places due to the Covid restrictions but surely this is essential to my play time but apparently not.

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If you have any spare snow in your area, would you post some to me please? Even if it will take a couple of weeks to get here, I am a patient dog and am willing to wait. I promise to build a little village of snow people where I play with them, give up my carrots for their noses, promise not to chew their stick like arms or bury their hats. Well maybe not 100% promise but I will try my best….sometimes. I will never leave them alone and will smother them with kisses and only wrestle with them if they start it first. Thanks in advance. I will eagerly await your parcels of snow to drop through my letterbox. Love and cold snowy kisses, Munch

4 Year Partnershipversary.

Tags

Animal, Anniversary, Blessed, Blind, Disability, Drama King, Free spirit, Guide Dog, Healing, Help, Hiden Dissability, Kindness, Labradoodle, Life Purpose, Positivity, Thanks, Unconditional Love, Vision Impairment, Working Dog, Worth the wait

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There are certain dates of our life events that will forever stick in our minds. We will always remember what we were doing, who we were with, what we were wearing or a certain heightened sense that lays dormant in our memory when a key moment in time happened. For me, when I have just finished playing peek-a-boo (which I don’t do enough of) wearing a dress covered in yoghurt and Wotsit crisp crumbs curtesy of my gorgeous granddaughter, in the house full of my noisy family chattering away loudly, I remember the time the phone rang. Here was the change that I had been dreading and eagerly awaiting in equal measures. Guide Dogs had matched a suitable dog for me and wanted to arrange to meet up. Seventeen months of waiting was over. My “unusual” guide dog was ready to change my life forever.

I still remember that uneasy feeling in my stomach after putting the phone down. We had arranged to meet sweet Minster a few days later but I was unsure if I was ready to let the world know that I had a sight problem. When you keep the severity of your disability hidden away from loved ones for so long, the reaction from others is always a fear. What if they do not believe you? Worse still, what if they pity you? What if I did not connect with the dog? What if the dog did not like me? All these fears were just imagined problems that never cropped up anywhere in life, only in my head. The truth was, life was going to change forever, but in the most positively magical way possible.

When Minster (or Munch as he has become affectionately known as) came bounding through the door on November 17^th, 2016, he had decided that this partnership was going to work. He would be the boss from day 1 (apart for in Angus the cat’s world, where Angus remains King) and our training together would go fine. He would make himself at home on whichever soft furniture took his fancy (shhh, don’t tell his trainers), he would command affection by the Royal wave of his paw, create hilarious drama at every opportunity and project his adorable personality to loved ones and strangers alike. He was here to stay and be the neon sign to the hidden disability that I had kept to myself for 38 years. Subtlety has never been his strong point, but authenticity has.

This 100mph couch-potato is the gift that keeps on giving. Giving me immense independence to carry on working and living a full life, seems just a tiny part of this gift. The partnership we have developed has allowed us to go places I would never have gone alone. He enabled me to win Bronze for Wales in VI Bowls, which was only possible after he gave me the confidence to admit that I had a VI in the first place. His extroverted charm enabled us to meet people who I never would have met without this secret weapon to everyone’s soul. He helped me write an award-winning book that would never have been written had my disability remained hidden. To sum up what mind-blowing ways Guide Dogs help their owners (or their maids like in our relationship), is not an easy task but what I would say is this. They are portals into lives that we never would have lived without them.

4 years on and Munch still bounds though life in his puppy like ways, causing mischief and mayhem wherever he goes. Whilst on harness however, he is the perfect poster boy for Guide Dogs, taking his work life serious as he sashays with pride in harness. He has prevented my previous frequent falls and injuries, stayed by my side in hospital after surgery and healed many a broken heart in work and not once has he stopped being a natural born healer. The beauty in his sweet nature is that his loyalty belongs to whoever needs it at that moment in time. It seems that his Guide Dog duties are just one of his life purposes as he glides through life being of services whatever way he can. He is the best teacher that anyone can be blessed to live with in everyday life.

So, thank you Munch for deciding that our partnership would work from day one. You have given so much to me, family, friends, our clients, and strangers alike by never being anything but unconditional love. We still have a few years left of a working partnership and I promise when you do retire you will be even more spoilt than you are today. The doggy kisses and love that you dish out freely will return to you in abundance as your Karmic bank account grows day by day. I promise to up my daily worshipping rituals to you each day and keep telling the world about the superpowers of you and your hero Guide Dog colleagues. Thank you for the eternal gift of being you.

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Enjoy Your Smiles

Tags

Choice, Dogs, Guide Dog, Happiness, Labradoodle, Smile

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In a world where smiles are covered, and hidden from all to see,

Take the lead and become the smile that you really want to be.

Find your fun, your sparkle and joy in places long forgotten,

To escape the places in life that make you feel rotten.

Blow some bubbles, hula hoop or even build a sandcastle,

To break the dark mood that you can 100%, totally dismantle.

Surround yourself with those who make you bear your gnashers,

And hide from those who want to be your happiness gate crashers.

Choosing to show up in the world, the way you were born to be,

Give the world the gift that is unique to the ‘World of Me’.

Find the strength to shine your crazy, your weirdness and your charm,

As by doing this you will never cause yourself or another any harm.

Your smile will become infectious in a world where misery has become rampant,

So, take the plunge and smile away and help their frowns become redundant.

Be yourself, a unicorn, a dragon, a yeti, or choose from many more,

Do not shy away, smile, smile, smile, smile away and make happiness hardcore.

Be like Munch and smile away after sneaking some forbidden food,

That smile will melt any heart and cannot fail to lighten the mood.

We make mistakes, we fail at things, we all go through troubled times,

His smile he gives makes me forgive, even when he is being a little swine.

Be like Munch and find your smile each and every time.

When things go wrong, act away and give them your best mime.

It’s free, it heals. It gets you drunk on a happy cocktail of hormones.

Failing that, chase a ball, pee on things and settle down to chew some bones.

Enjoy your smiles 😁

The Unidentified Floating Object

Tags

Dogs, Guide Dog, Humour, Labradoodle, Pets

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Investigations are under way following local sightings of an unspecified creature.

A local resident was able to swiftly capture a photo of the unidentified being as it was frolicking around in a local lake. Mr Nutter said “I was walking back from the local pub when I thought I would go the scenic route. It was here where I came across this strange being. Look, I know I had a few pints, but I couldn’t quite make out what I was seeing”. When asked what he thought it could be he was reluctant to guess. “This being just appeared to be floating on water and rotating at the same time. It was strange to say the least”.

Many experts have attempted to put this mystery to bed. An online film critic Mr Ticket offered that maybe Hollywood had been at the Llyn Lech Owain lake secretly filming a new Star Wars film. “There is definitely a Chewbacca look to this picture. There is no denying that that is Chewbacca mid shake of his luscious locks. This Wookiee is owning this picture and posing for the camera. A professional at his best” offered the critic. Not everyone however agreed with Mr Ticket.

Offering a more logical explanation to this photograph, Mr Brains Head of Psychology at the University of Life announced that this was just a case of Pareidolia. Pareidolia is a psychological phenomenon that caused the human brain to see things especially human faces in objects. “After studying hundreds of pictures on Wikipedia and other reliable sources, I can say that this is nothing but some debris floating in that filthy lake water giving the impression that it is a face”.

Mr Deep, a Marine Biologist from somewhere in the Pacific Ocean excitedly told us his take on what this was. “It’s incredible, who knew that these still existed? The long-haired ocean dwelling giant eel up until recent years was thought to only exist in Fairy tales but sightings such as these prove different. This clearly shows the creature emerging from the depth of the lake. The mystery is however how it got into a lake in Wales”.

Mr Click a photography expert of Fresh Air for almost 30 years described how he thought that he held the answer to the mystery. “You see, when you have an inebriated person who is three sheets to the wind, they lose all control of the camera. If that were me taking that photo, I would be focussing more on the fresh air above the lake than looking down at the mucky mess that lay beneath. This is the danger of putting a camera in the hands of non-fresh air lovers” scowled Mr Click.

When our reporter went back to the scene of the incident, they could not find any signs of this controversial being. Our reporter stopped to ask a local what they thought about all the Global attention that had been brought to this place of tranquillity. The woman who was standing right by the lake with a Guide Dog Harness slung over her shoulder whilst holding a long white cane listened intently to the reporter. Looking uneasy she refused to comment. As the reporter headed off in the direction of the car park, the woman was heard in a hushed tone saying “Munch, you are confusing people again”. It is unclear what or who this Munch is.

If you have any suggestions to what this water dwelling creature is do not hesitate to get in touch.

Why Fear Should Never Win

Tags

Acceptance, Animal, Connect, Disability, Expansion, Fear, Full Circle, Guide Dog, Hidden Disability, Labradoodle, Life lessons, Unconditional Love

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If I had stayed in fear, I may never have a chance to kiss this gorgeous velvety nose.

Dogs were never really my thing. I never really ‘oohed and aahed’ over cute little puppies running around. This was partly because I could not really see them but also partly because I never really trusted them. I did not have full blown Cynophobia, but they were not my favourite animals to be honest. I was never bitten by a dog growing up or was scared in anyway by any, but I always had a healthy respect for the fact that they could turn if they felt threatened.

We had a cross Collie whilst growing up called Cindy who was with us for ten years until she passed when I was around fourteen. She was more human than dog so I kind of forgot that she belonged to the canine kind as she would come with my brothers, friends and I as we played Fox and Hounds and football. I was surprised that she was never scouted for a top team as she scored more goals than any of us put together. Cindy was one of us, other dogs were not.

I had a healthy respect for the ability of dogs to turn if they were threatened and therefore kept away from them.  This was one of the stumbling blocks that I was hanging onto when I decided to apply for a guide dog. The  main excuse I gave myself from applying for a guide dog was that maybe people I knew would question why I suddenly turned up with a guide dog when the majority of them never knew I had been registered as severely sight impaired (previously known as registered blind)  for a number of years. The other main reason was however that I was not sure if life with a dog was really for me.

What would happen if I did not learn to read the dog’s signs of distress or if they were too hot and frustrated? What if I could not pick up on the cues that they needed something that I did not know about? What if the dog did not like me? What if the dog did not like coming into schools with me for me to carry out my job? The negative ‘what if’s’ snowballed more than the positive ‘what if’s’ until I got over myself and started turning the scenarios on their head and saw love instead of fear.

What if I tuned into the dog’s happiness as soon as I met him/her? What if I used my knowledge of their dislikes to arrange our lives to avoid them? What if our intuition synched so that we naturally picked up on each other’s needs? What if the unconditional love between our both species had no limit? What if the dog became part of the staff at the schools that we worked in and had his/her own fan club? My natural positivity trait began to chase away this alien negative frame of mind that had invaded my life. How would I know what life would be like with a guide dog if I was not going to try?

Three and a half years on, it is easy to look back and laugh at the imagined fear that nearly kept us apart. This face that lights up the life of many may have rested upon another sofa if I had not opened my mind beyond the sticky pit of fear. His strands of hair that lay across the house may have had to be vacuumed up by another hoover and his muddy paw prints would have to be mopped up into another bucket. Most devastating however may have been that his big squishy velvety nose may have been kissed by another pair of lips.

Facing you fears and doing it anyway will always bring about the unexpected and for me, it was magical. This mischief maker was worth the gamble. Turning fear into love may not be that hard after all.

Ever Increasing Family Love

Tags

Animal, Animals and Children, Blessings, Children's Milestones, Childrens Acceptance, Christmas, Family, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Unconditional Love

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So, our much-awaited Christmas present for 2020 is going to be a new baby in the family. What a perfect way to end a less than perfect year.

My second grandchild is due on 23^rd December which is something the whole family is excited for. How do I think Munch will react? Well if his relationship with Arna-Rae (my first born granddaughter) is anything to go by, I think they will be best friends.

Munch came into our lives when Arna-Rae was just nine months old and they hit it off straight away. He went to sniff her when they first met and the fact that she had some crumbs on her tights meant that this was going to be a match made in heaven. A new playmate and a food dropper all rolled into one was Munch’s idea of heaven. She was as gentle with him as he was with her as they played alongside one another stealing each other’s toys.

Arna-Rae started taking her sweet first steps as Munch walked alongside her and when out and about, she would hold onto his Guide Dog harness whilst out on their adventures. He was there for some of her firsts and is still there alongside her as she grows into the beautiful little girl that she has become. As she tries to dodge his sloppy morning kisses, she cradles his head so sweetly in her loving arms that have held him a multitude of times.

She says Mam (shortened version of Mamgu which is Welsh for grandmother) and Munch and not just Mam as she knows we come as a pair. She has only really known me with Munch as my Guide Dog and never on my own so to her, we are one. His happy helicopter tail rotates with delight as she comes crashing through the door as he knows his food dropping playmate has arrived for some fun. They know and love each other deeply.

When Arna-Rae’s brother or sister arrives and grows with the family, the only problems that I can see occurring are as follows-

• Who will be the first to snuggle up to him?
• Who will have the most fun toys to play with?
• Who will be most generous with food?
• Who can throw the ball the furthest?
• Who will be most likely to go on mischievous adventures with him?
• Who will be most likely to find his stinky anal exhales funny and not run away from him?
• Who will be most likely to run the fastest with him whilst out on free runs?
• Who will take up less room on the couch with him as he stretches out?
• Who will give the best belly rubs and nose kisses?
• Who will love him even when he is being a monster?

The truth is they will both be there each of these times as he will be there for them. The beauty of animals is that they are only capable of unconditional love. One may give him the most food or throw the ball the furthest, but he will love them both equally as will I.

The last four years as a grandmother has been the best. Getting to witness Arna-Rae grow form a tiny 4lb 12oz newborn into a beautiful, loving, kind four year old who has a wonderful sense of self  has been magical and I am so excited to see what her enchanting sibling will also bring into life. This Christmas will certainly be a perfect ending to a less than perfect year.  

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Return to Happiness

Tags

Animal, Blessings, Disability, Dog, Drama King, Food, Guide Dog, Happiness, Helping, Hidden Disability, Humour, Kindness, Labradoodle, Meaning of lIfe

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Just like that, we were back.

Fifteen weeks on and we were back in the shop like nothing had happened. To us, not much had changed. Blurs (or people, as the sighted like to call them), sauntered around on their own missions to get out of this supposedly germ infested place as we were guided by our friend’s  voice to watch out for people and objects.  Having been blessed to have friends, family and online shopping services do our shopping for us over the last fifteen weeks, we had not stepped foot into a shop, so I was unsure what to expect. Munch had not been in full work mode for a while, only slipping on his harness for short walks around our home area. I was a little apprehensive of how he would feel going back into full work mode, but he amazed me on how eager he was to get back.

Practically yanking me into the place that he once resisted going, I guessed this shopping trip would be easier than I had thought. The history of Munch and shopping has not always been a positive one but clearly this break has made him re -evaluate his acceptance of the place that fills his belly with love from all the edible goodies all around. As we swiftly passed the clothes section that he has never been a fan of, his prancing pace quickened, avoiding the two-legged race with perfection. A quick sniff out of his favourite vegan cheese that he is rather partial too and we were well on the way to the second aisle. All the fears I had of not being able to see to social distance was gone as my harness wearing hero worked in partnership with my vocal coaching friend as they helped avoid upsetting anyone by walking into them. Munch was back on top form.

I swallowed the guilt of the questioning thoughts that I had been having of Munch becoming deskilled with his time off from proper work as he proved me wrong. With ever prancing paws he placed on the shiny supermarket floor, he was obviously on a mission. As we glided through the scent of  celery, cotton fresh candles and freshly baked products from the bakery that alerted my olfactory gland to where we were in the supermarket, I knew that Munch had this all in hand (or his yeti like paws more like). The calling of the third aisle became too much for Munch as he quickened his Olympian worthy pace as we rounded the corner resembling a pair of pivoting ice skaters. It was only when the stench of dried meaty canine bliss and cat nip covered treats intruded my nostrils that I realized what Munch’s hurry had been all along. He had finally come home to the aisle where his heart was. The pet food aisle.

His longing to return to this sense filled sanctuary was plain for all to see. His excited panting echoed along the tins and boxes that lined the shelves of his favourite thirty plus foot space EVER. The smell of new tennis balls wafting from their net packaging alerted me that we had reached his favourite toy section. For some strange reason, he took his time to put his best paw forward in this part of the shop and was in no hurry to leave. It was only after a pack of treats and new toy later, that I knew he would be ready to sashay through the rest of the shop. We remained here for some time for him to savour the moment and reconnect to what his food driven soul had been missing. His return to normality had begun.

If there is one thing that Munch has taught me during our time together is that appreciating the simple things in life is all that matters. Following this helicopter tailed happy chappie throughout the rest of shop I realized that witnessing his happiness and the happiness in others is what life is all about. The simplicity of the effects of a smell, the feeling of returning to contentment and focussing on the basics in life is all that is needed to return to happiness. I knew that when his sloppy kisses covered my face when he leapt into the car after the shopping trip, he was thanking me for taking him back into bliss. The return to happiness is sometimes simpler than we think.

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International Guide Dogs Day 2020

Tags

Dogs, Guide Dogs, Humour, International Guide Dog Day, Interview, Labradoodle, Sports

To celebrate International Guide Dogs Day on April 29th, 2020. I asked my boss (aka Guide Dog Minster Munch) about what it was like to have such an important role in society. His answers were…. well just read on and make up your own mind.

Happy International Guide Dog Day Munch. Thank you for doing such an amazing job. Without you maids such as myself, would not be able to live the independent life we do. We also would not be able to feel the total unconditional love and the selfless dedication that you provide each day on keeping us safe. My question is, do you feel valued and appreciated enough by me, your mere maid?

Firstly may I thank you for the words that stroke my ego. Would you mind from now on starting all your sentences in this manner? Hmmm, do I feel valued and appreciated enough? No to be honest. This morning my breakfast was a little late as you only called me twice to get up , you prevented me form eating all of Angus’s cat food and took it away from me half way through eating it and you only gave me half a slice of toast when my pleading eyes clearly told you I wanted a whole slice.

May I apologize for all of those I truly am sorry. Food aside, do you feel I appreciate you in other ways?

Well, I only had ¾ of the bed to myself last night not the full bed as you took up the other ¼. I have only had two new toys this week and I have even had to go in harness three times this week apparently to remind me how to wear in case I forget? Please, I would never forget a role that brings me so much attention from the public. I am not daft.

Sorry. Again. OK all those points aside, is there anything else I could do to show you my appreciation every day?

Maybe an award giving ceremony everyday before bed? I will take treats as awards. I do not want pointless medals or certificates as I know I am number 1 at everything anyway.

Noted. We shall start tonight. Ok so the next question is if you did not train to be a guide dog, what do you think you would be doing with your life right now?

Well I am not sure really. Being a working dog takes a lot of responsibility and even when you are off duty you never really feel off duty. I am ever vigilant for any food spills around as I always want to prevent an accident as let us be honest, clumsy is your default setting. I remove any food I find on the floor for your safety alone. I also must represent the Guide Dogs charity when I am out, so I am always on my best behaviour. I am not sure I could be anything else than a guide dog.

Always on your best behaviour?? Are you sure?? Do you remember the time that you stole the panini from the pupil in school? Or the time you put your head between that poor man’s legs in Tesco’s to smell the doggy sausage he was holding in the pet food aisle? What about the time you tried to chase the squirrel up the tree whist in harness? Or the time…

Enough maid. This is my interview so let us just focus on what I say.

Sigh. Okay sorry. Back to the original point. What would you be in life if you were not a guide dog extraordinaire?

Sloths seem to have a good life. Maybe I could be a sloth.

Okay thanks. What about if you had to be a dog though? Would your like to be another type of working dog?

A sniffer dog seems to be a fun job to have. Do you remember when I joined that Spaniel Police Dog sniffing the train when we were on it one day coming from London? We had so much fun sniffing together when the lovely police lady came over to pay me attention. I sniffed out the food on the floor first and for some reason the Spaniel went past it.

Yes, Munch I remember that day. I think however the other dog may have been sniffing out other things on the train not just food so she was actually doing her job by ignoring it.

What? What else is there apart form food.

Never mind Munch, you do not need to know. Keep your innocence. What about any other type of working dog?

I do not fancy being a sheep dog. They do not tend to chase back to play tag like us dogs do. If I found a stick or something more interesting, I would probably play with that anyway.

Sheep dogs do not really play tag with the sheep sweetheart. They kind of help the farmer to gather them all together and other things that I do not think would interest you. What about a guard dog? Could you have seen yourself as a guard dog?

What and stay outside? Are you mad woman? There are no sofas or cushions outside for me to lie on. What would I be guarding anyway? Angus the cat is feisty enough for the both of us. Even the birds and mice lie motionless on our doorstep when he brings them home for you as a gift.

Fair point. Maybe becoming a guard dog was not for you. So, what have you learnt in your three years of being a guide dog?

I have learnt that people adore me. I have learnt how to write a book. I have learned that if I find the bus stops or taxi ranks, I do not have to walk and can save my legs from getting tired. I have learnt which people in my life take me for fun free runs. I have learnt how to steals balls but only once from a shop. I have learnt how to use my beauty to get me treats. I have learned to not to give doggy cuddles under shorter people’s legs in case they get stuck on top of me again. I have learnt to demand a massage once or twice a day. I have learnt that the more I love, the more I am loved.

You sound like you have learnt a lot….

Oh, I have also learnt how to look shocked if I let out a smelly anal exhale and use my bewilderment to blame it on anyone else in the room as I look far too regal to do such things.

Thanks for sharing that…. talent. What would you like say to the person reading this?

I am amazing and you can keep worshipping me as much as you want. Regarding guide dogs, we are awesome. We look after our maids and servants that we are matched with so well and help them get out in the world and live the life that they want to live. It is even more important at this time in history as we act as a clue to the onlooker that the person, we are with cannot see like a sighted person. We alert them that we as a team do not see the markings on the floor that encourage social distancing in shops. They cannot see what 2m apart looks like when they cannot see 2m in front of them. We alert the sighted that we as a team may need a little more understanding of how this pandemic and the measure we need to take in society is not as easy for some to follow as others. We guide dogs have not been taught about the new measures that are put in place in a visual world. We are trained to find the door join a queue (not necessarily at 2m apart) and go the route that we have learnt around a shop and not necessity follow arrows as arrows were not in our training.
If you see a guide dog and his/her owner (sorry staff member) out during this time, please remember to be kind and not critical as the change that you are experiencing in the world is even harder for a dog to learn. We may be life changing in every other way but this life change we are all experience needs us to work together not apart.

Oh yes and nag my Maid to write more regular blogs as she has been useless recently and I know you really want to keep hearing how well behaved I am 😁. Stay safe all.

The Honorary Welshman

Tags

Celebration, Dydd Gwyl Dwei, Guide Dogs, Labradoodle, Saint David's Day, Unconditional Love

Munch has adapted well to this funny little country of ours fair play to him.

Being of Canadian/English descent, I don’t really think he was prepared to come and live in Wales where to any outsiders seems a little odd. As his head tilts increased to try and understand what my funny little accent was telling him, it was clear to see that he was a patient dog. Within a matter of six months he had learnt his normal guide dog commands all in Welsh due to my total inability to stick to one language which any bilingual person would understand. I am sure he has even learnt to understand our daily nonsensical phrases such as “I’ll be there in a minute now” that echoes all around him.

The lush greenery and land that covers the beautiful countryside that we are surrounded by, may be one of the most alluring bonuses of the move for Munch as he bounds around in newly discovered areas which never fails to impress him. He has made friends with sheep on mountains and cows in the fields who are always unfazed by this playful tornado that breaks the monotony of their days. Swimming with swans may not be for the faint hearted but here, he has made many a friend with these bevy of beauties who call him back into the pond to play. He is the social butterfly amongst the species in a place that they all call home.

Sashaying through towns where everyone stops to talk, he luxuriates in the love showered upon him by strangers who become friends. The Welsh hospitality is what this regal dog was made for as he meets and greets people every day and entices them to love him for who he is. Gifts from random strangers are far from a rarity as communities accept all members of your family (hairy or non-hairy) as their own. Munch’s name is known in places where everyone knowns one another in some way or another and they all know his mischievous ways which makes him even more memorable.

Not one to turn his nose up to food, he rarely says no to some traditional Welsh food if it is offered to him as he does not like to offend. Cawl (a Welsh soup or broth) bread and cheese will always be accepted without fail, as are plain Welsh cakes, Welsh meat and welsh rarebit all adjusted to be dog friendly. As eating is such a social event that Welsh mothers insist upon others, it would be so unkind to leave him out so sharing however small in this case is always caring.

He has fitted in so well in Wales over the last three years that it is only fair that this honorary Welshman joins in with our Dydd Gwyl Dewi (St David’s Day) celebrations. However, you may or may not be celebrating this day, Munch would like to wish you a good one full of love and contentment for ever more. There is always a welcome in the hillside for you where we will welcome you with open arms and paws.