How many times can she get it wrong?
Today has been so frustrating. I have been sitting here like the perfect Labradoodle that I am and there she is being the typical scatty maid as she is. Humans are the weirdest creatures ever. We have been here for nearly two hours to record a video of us which will last less than a minute. We would have finished much sooner if my daft maid could string a sentence together without saying “Um” and “no, start again” over and over whilst speaking English, Welsh and Martian all in the same sentence. Why couldn’t the Guide Dogs have matched me with someone more efficient?
Luckily it was my favourite dog walking footman that was with us as he encouraged us to have lots of breaks in filming and led us all to a huge field so that I could have a well-deserved run. Meeting other dogs here meant I could remove my regal robes (or harness as some people not in the know call them) and exercise my gracious body. I even led other dogs to believe that I was an equal as we played together and not the King that I secretly am. Such fun.
Unfortunately, after I had had my well-deserved break, we were back to getting yet another video completed where apparently the maid had gathered her thoughts and was now able to string a sentence together to record the short promotional video for the Writers Workshop for the publisher that we needed to film. I am seriously considering getting another writer for my next book to ensure that not only does everyone know what an amazing guide dog and everyday Idol that I am, but also to let the world know how frustrating it can be when you really can’t get the staff to do what you want.
Working with humans has taught me many things which are.
– They are so fussy about things that they really do not need to be fussy about.
– They need to sniff often, play more and love everything.
– They over complicate the simplest of tasks. Either do or don’t. That’s it.
– They need to run like no one is watching and chase their non-existent tail just to know what it is like to be in the moment more.
– They need to realize that a picture of you from any angle is a good angle because you are perfect just as you are.
We finally got to finish the video when the maid’s mouth became friends with her brain again and I was free to sashay away with grace. Humans can be so hard to control.