Sight Loss and Parenting

Tags

Beauty, Blind, Children, Disability, Gratitude, Life lessons, Love, Parenting, Peace, Sight Loss, Thanks

Inhaling the heat on the skin and the unwanted scent of illness in the small body, you can use more than eyes to observe illness in a child. The activated response to a smell of a dry nappy becoming wet, alerts you to the need for a swift change. Opening the door to smell if there is petrichor in the air before it starts to rain, lets you know if the children will need coats to keep them dry. When a sudden whiff of Sudocrem joins you in the kitchen, you know you need to follow the trail to confiscate the pot and start the clean up operation on everywhere that you cherub has covered with this villain.

When silence falls in a chatty house, you need to peek to see who’s turn it is being the ringleader in the mischief being caused. When your child’s jangling zip on their boot gets further away from you in the playground, you need to follow the sound to keep them safely in ear shot. When you hear your child’s favourite toy fall, you pinpoint the exact location to reach your hand out to reunite it with its joyful owner. When you hear the whizz of the bike wheels coming towards you, you remind your child that you must always be aware of all oncoming dangers and wait to cross safely. As you hear the squeal of joy escape from their perfectly formed lips, you join their celebration despite not being able to see what is exciting them.

Remembering the different feel of each of their coats, you help put them on the right child for them to go and warmly explore the great outdoors. Differentiating between the pristine feeling lunchbox of one and the scuffed one of the other, you pack their lunchboxes with their personal choices. Touching the top of your child’s head and feeling their unique hair type, you can tell the difference between your children of similar height. Cutting toe nails by touch, you learn to trust your judgement to do what others do by sight. Picking up toys with fingers on high alert, allows you to keep their favourite games together for the next time they want to play.

Knowing that they are going to fall before they do, allows you to be there to catch them. Tuning into the energy of their friends to know which will always make them happy, you are alert to those who will upset them and prepare youself to be there for them when they do. Knowing that you will not make the meeting as you need to be prepared, you are able to act calmly when the phone call from school comes when they have had an injury. Being assertive enough to tell doctors that they are wrong about it being a stomach bug and telling them it is actual a ruptured appendix, you don’t get shocked when they rush your child to theatre as you are just glad they caught it in time.

Memories of raising four beautiful children under the age of six, fills me with love and joy. These wildly different souls who are now adorable young adults, mesmerised me with their abilities as they grew. I may not have been able to see their expression filled faces or the true sweet mischief that they caused but I always saw their unique selves. Eyes only allow us to see what we want to see but other senses allow us to know on a deeper level. Maybe if I was gifted with sight from birth, I may not have known my children as I know them today. As my little cluster of beautiful being’s glide through life in whichever direction they want to take, I hope I can still learn from them each and everyday and see them exactly as they are.

I love you all in every way that you are.

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1 Year Blogiversary

Tags

Achievement, Anniversary, Blessed, Blogging Blogiversary Writing Thanks, Celebration, Gratitude, Labradoodle, Sight Loss, Writing

Here we are, 1 year on, 104 posts published and 1,148 followers on WordPress later. Befuddled is an understatement of how I feel when I think how this happened.

Like most starting out in the world of blogging I had no idea how it worked or how it would turn out but I have always loved a good challenge. I did wonder if writing about sight loss and life with a mischievous, attention seeking guide dog would provide enough prompts to keep the blog alive but I didn’t need to worry after all.

From the start, I have loved reading other bloggers posts and it still blows my mind how each blogger makes such an impact on my life and the lives of many others. Hearing everyday stories from bloggers around the world is far more informative than any news programme can ever tell me about the world. These talented bloggers speak about the true world that many know little about.

The name of this blog came about from living life in the sight loss world, that many in my life knew nothing or very little about. Over the year I have shared stories about little Minster Munch’s adventures and had beautiful comments left on the blog about his typical dog like behaviour that brings a smile to many a dog lovers face. Hearing the amusing stories of other dogs on writers blogs has left me feeling better about the perplexing and comical world of canine behaviour.

The support among bloggers by encouraging each other’s writing is an environment that has to be witnessed to be believed. Grammar police and trolls rarely exist but you can find enthuisiast of the written word and personal cheerleaders in abundance. These are the type of people you could spend all day chatting with and never run out of words.

Thank you so much to those who have continued to read my waffling words and been nothing but kind. Writing two blog posts a week keeps the spirit of writing alive. Never having suffered from writers block only writers diarrhoea, you are very patient people who deserve medals for your patience. Knowing that you want to read about a matching pair of odd socks in the world warms our hearts.

Thank you so much for the dedication you put into your own fascinating blogs. Google would be under threat if you all clubbed together to enlighten the world with your own areas of expertise. Each individual blog can read like a classic book that mesmirises the masses yet is a discovery waiting to be unearthed by that one important person who will make it famous.

With greatest of thanks for following our first year and we hope to share many more years with you. Much love from Munch and his maid.

The Magic Of The Moment

Tags

Alternative, Beauty, Gratitude, Life lessons, Loss, Peace, Thanks, Wishes

As his giggled words “you make a better door than a window” floated through the air to his friends in the park, they all knew what he meant. Just as dense sooty fog obscures the vision of the driver, doors instead of windows allow only imperfect long vision. As necks crane around the seated human in front of them to see into the distance, a feeling of missing out washes over many. When tired blurry eyes loose focus and cannot see with clarity, the haze of the observed objects can be frustrating to the eager eye. Debris from life that ends up in conjunctiva, will always be under the threat of eviction as the owner of the eye tries to remain focussed on resuming normality. Temporary loss of sight is seldom welcomed.

The wave of panic that hits as soon as we lose what we feel what is rightfully ours, immerses us in a feeling of helplessness. A loss of a sense that has worked for us for so long, becomes our enemy as soon as we think it is working against us. We can often forget to thank the abundance of opportunity that the sense has given us in life and go straight into the lack of the moment that we are living in. Patience is a strength that we believe that we often use unless it is in times where it is temporarily not there. When we are so busy focussing on the obstacles that may have sneakily been placed there to push our problem-solving skills, we are forgetting to look at the object with love.

When you cannot see what others can, you learn to imagine what it is they talk about. The frustration that they feel about looking at things that causes them disgust, you feel protective about these things that they disregard. Talking about sights that they see daily but don’t seem to be in awe of, you feel blessed about by being given a chance to enter a world that you have never been in. The wise teachings that the sighted give about the world around us, you take in and memorize the beauty of it all. If disagreements between the sighted occur about what looks the best, you take the best bits and leave the rest as you learn what it must be like to see with clarity.
Next time you see a door when you really want to see a window, thank the person who made such a useful thing. As fog falls all around you, feel the change in atmosphere that nature has blessed upon you. When the person in front of you that is blocking the view irritates you, take a moment to bless that person’s existence as you never know how they may help you of you ever meet again. Tired eyes can always be refreshed so listen to your body’s need to recharge and look later at things through fresh eyes. If debris is an unwanted guest, stop for a moment to think is there a reason that you have been forced to stop what you are doing? Chances are there is a good reason.

If we learn to change the perception of barriers in loss into the discovery of the true beauty in life, we can stop and appreciate what once we disliked. The place to be is always in the moment.

Christmas Wishes

Tags

Alternative, Celebration, Christmas, Gratitude, Kindness, Love, Thanks, Wishes

When bubbles of festive cheer are bursting all around you and you feel like you are in a lead balloon, know that life won’t always be like this.

When the whole world sparkles in festive glitter and you feel cocooned in darkness, know that people can still see the inner glow in you that you are forgetting to see.

When hordes are celebrating the birth of the season and you are mourning loss, know that magic of time can help the passage of change of mind.

When shoppers will throw a lot of what they buy, and you struggle to buy what you need, know that many will offer to share if they are aware of your needs.

When the cheer of happy families seems to be all around and you feel all alone, know that there will always be room for you at someone’s table.

When unwanted gifts get tossed aside by ungrateful hearts and you would love the sentiment of a gift, appreciate the gratitude that you possess.

What if Christmas was less about things and more about people, maybe we could celebrate equally.

What if Christmas was all about us and less about me, maybe we could be surrounded by nothing but support.

What if Christmas was about giving what we need and not what we want, maybe we could all be as happy as each other.

What if Christmas made us stop instead of rush, maybe we would be fully present.

What if Christmas was about change and not about tradition, maybe we would grow in new ways.

What if Christmas was about lack so others could gain, maybe we would each have a similar Christmas.

If you fancy making a difference, surprise a stranger with a gift.

If you fancy making a difference, buy less and spend more time with a loved one.

If you fancy making a difference, buy less food for yourself and more for those in need.

If you fancy making a difference, sponsor a child in need that you may never even meet.

If you fancy making a difference, recharge your battery enough to be available to yourself and others in the year to come.

If you fancy making a difference, lead by example and be the change that you want to see in the world.

Whatever the when, what’s and ifs of Christmas bring you, I wish that your presence will be far more magical than any present can hold. Wishing you a different Christmas full of happiness and life changing gains.

Birth, Death And Transformation

Tags

Celebration, Death, Dog, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Life lessons, Love, Numerology, Thanks, Transformation, Wishes

With birthday wishes flying at him from all directions, he wore his birthday badge with pride. A “Happy Birthday dog” here and a “Aw, he is 4 today” there, he pranced down the corridor in work loving attention that he was drawing to himself. I may have had a little bit of an input into his badge wearing today but he wore it with pride. When he came into this world 4 years ago today it seems he was destined for the limelight.

In Astrology, those born on December 18th are “friendly and charming with a deep sense of kindness, perceptiveness and compassion. Moralistic yet forgiving outlook on life is another feature of those born on this day. Assertiveness, alertness and intense curiosity is one way to describe these individuals the temper tantrums, moodiness, rebelliousness and frustrated behaviour are also mixed in with these charming souls”. Spot on universe, spot on.

This is his third birthday that he has spent with us and each year he gets more and more spoilt. This year he had lots of presents from family members and friends, a doggy cake and doggy beer which he chose not to consume. As our celebrations went on through the night, my appreciation for my little Minster Munch grew by the minute. He has certainly made his mark in this world over the last four years.

December 18th evokes a mixture of emotions for me, as although it is my furry soul mate’s birthday another two events happened on this day. Eight years ago today, my beautiful grandmother passed away. She was the sweetest person that I had ever known and only ever spoke kindly of people. As unconditional love oozed out of her, you could never feel anything but pure bliss in her presence. After a short illness, she passed away peacefully which was her constant state of being whilst alive. The candle that I light in memory for her every year, helps remind me of the warmth that she always showed to those around her.

Not only does this day symbolize the birth and death of loved ones but it also reminds me of transition. Four years ago to this day, I worked my last day in my current job after handing my notice in. As my eye sight deteriorated, I got to a point that I could no longer get around independently. What I was unaware of was when I was leaving my job with gritted teeth was that Munch was celebrating his first birthday. A mere eleven months later and our worlds met and became one. Divine right timing made our paths cross at exactly the right time of me needing a guide dog and him being ready to guide.

The variety that this day holds will always mean so much to me. The joy of birth, the loss of an earth angel and the transition between the dependant and independent world, all hold different meanings. The universal meaning of them all however, is about the meaning of life. Birth, death and anything in between will provide you with any meaning that you want to seek out. For me, the birth of Munch, my pause in my work life and the physical death of my much-loved grandmother meant that I learnt to value each moment in life. Each moment can be the moment that things can change. so live with no regrets, just with blessings of the guaranteed now that we always have.

Ask Away

Tags

Alternative, Education, Expansion, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Hearing impairement, Kindness, Motivation, Questionning, Reality

Why is it that we go through life seeing the same old things surrounding us until we cross paths with a burst of newness that is fascinating and inspiring? This law of universal attraction then seems to give you an open access pass to be drawn into an alternative reality that had always coexisted along side your own that you had never been aware of. Clusters of people from this alternative reality then magically enter your world and teach you things that you really need to learn. Things always happen for reasons that will serve us the best.

For me, it is the world of the hearing impaired that has been opened to me and taught me things that I may never have known. Over the last few months, more and more of my clients have had a hearing impairment so it has been key to understand what this means for them, As there is no “one size fits all” approach to any diagnosis, I always feel that it is important to ask not only what I can do to make practical things such as communication easier but also to ask questions that need to be asked. From this I have learnt about what daily life is like and have learnt about aids and adaptations that can be useful to those with a hearing impairment.

I am ashamed to say that I never knew that there were vibrating alarm mats, pillow speakers, adapted music systems, flashing smoke systems and many other things. Such practical aids seem like common sense needs for many, but I had never stopped to think about these aspects of life in someone with a sensory impairment I knew very little about. What I have learnt from working with my clients over time is that it is ok to ask questions that many are fearful of asking in case they cause offense. Swapping information about how the hearing impaired and the visual impaired worlds deal with daily life has been an education to both sides.

In the past I have been asked the most random questions of how as a blind person I do things. Many have asked how I pick up Munch’s poo if I cannot see it (no easy way to say this but my poo bagged hand feels for it), how can I see I have the right dog (trust me, Munch doesn’t stray far with a pocket full of treats) and how do I know what aisle I am in whilst shopping (I believe I may be part sniffer dog as I can smell the difference between the laundry aisle and the biscuit aisle). The questions that tumble out of innocent mouths need to be answered in truthful ways. There are some answers that are hard to put into words though.

I tried to explain to someone the other day that you can sense a person in a room even if you can’t see them. Explaining that everyone has their own individual energy about them that differs from the next may be believable in sci-fi films but hard for all to comprehend. I was out with a friend when I told her someone we knew was somewhere around as I could sense her, and she freaked when she appeared 5 minutes later from another part of the building behind us. If I could have seen colour in the way sighted people could, I think I would have seen it drain from her face.

Asking questions helps us to understand the lives of others and gives us insight into similar lives we live regardless of our differences. The answers that we get are sometimes not what we expect but that is okay as our minds always need to expand to help us understand the world outside of our own reality. Out of the 80,000 people that we will meet in our lifetime, we will all live life differently. When questions come from the right place, the answers can teach us to step outside our own reality and into a reality where possibilities have replaced barriers and nothing but opportunities exist. So, begin asking the questions that can also change your own life for the better.

A Day In The Life Of A Healer

Tags

Animal, Autism, Children, Dog, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Healer, Healing, Kindness, Love, Mental Health, Peace, Thanks, Unconditional Love

Pulling towards each other, they met in the middle and fell into each other’s space. Like two familiar souls, these strangers created a unity that looked like it had existed for an eternity. The connection that anchored the pair rooted on the spot at the train station, gave an insight into the world of the unspoken realm of healing. Munch sensed the need for this girl to feel secure before she entered another day in the unknown world of school life. Meeting a highly anxious young girl with autism, triggered off the natural healing instinct in him to come alive. The kisses that he planted on her beautiful face reassured her that she would get through another day and be just fine.

When Munch chose what I thought was a random seat on the train, I had no idea that we would be sitting opposite a man who was losing his sight. As we chatted away and Munch gave his paw and heart to the man, he must have known that this was the place that we really needed to sit. We listened to how the man had been patiently waiting for a guide dog for the last year and a half, yet his vision seemed to be in a hurry to deteriorate. The questions that poured out from him were answered verbally by me and physically by Munch. Hearing the words “I know my wait will be worth it after meeting this furry fella” reaffirmed the positive impact that Munch has on the life of another.

Throughout the working day he continued to spread his healing magic to lonely children that he made feel loved, gave self esteem to those that had little and absorbed the stress that invaded the lives of many. His calming presence that filled the room allowed our clients to leave the chaos of life on the other side of the door and embrace the forgotten peace that lay within each of them. Sharing his toys with those that had forgotten the fun of play in childhood triggered sleepy parts of them that needed to reawaken. Demonstrating his pure love for life was the best infection that anyone could ever catch.

Later that night in training in work, he lightened the mood as the heaviness of the subject permeated the room. The sombre subject of suicide triggered deep emotions in the room that Munch tired to even out. He whimpered in a way that seemed to speak of the groups sadness and began using his Munch like qualities to magic it away. Lying on his back with paws to ceiling he began doing his happy dance with tongue flopping out of his mouth and tail wagging to try and turn frowns upside down. He even went around to kiss each person one by one and gave an extra hug to someone who had just lost her dog. His love was all that was needed.

This healer works in ways that has no structure, just freedom in all that he does. Once met never forgotten, he moves through life in his own unique way on a life path that he was meant to live. Leaving people feeling better in whatever way he can is his personal motto in life. We may never know the positive impact that we have on peoples lives but our impact should always be positive. If we cannot heal another then we should not harm. If we each took small steps to heal ourselves and others in whatever way we can, there would never be anything left to heal as how can we heal perfection?

Written In The Stars

Tags

Animal, Beauty, Dog, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Love, Numerology, Thanks

Getting preferential treatment is one thing that Munch is good at. It seems that wherever he goes, he manifests a whole entourage of people who pander to his needs and treat him like royalty. Up until now I have thought that it is due to his Labradoodle personality or the fact that he has been pampered and spoilt from birth. It seems however, that there may be more to it than that. When we were told by a Numerologist last week that his way of being was written in the stars, I was intrigued.

Munch being like a magnet for any spare attention, drew in a Numerologist we had briefly met before. He felt the urge to start reading Munch due to his magnetic energy. I love anything alternative and got excited when he started talking about the meaning of his name and what his date of birth said about him. He worked on his name Munch as he is affectionately known and used his birth date of 18^th December as the focal point of his tuning in. The information that he came up with could only have been known by someone who knew Munch well or a stalker, neither of which he matched.

My head nodded, and my mouth gapped open as the reading went on. This is the summary of what I was told about our little Minster Munch. He is as loyal as they come which is so very true. Loyalty in Munch’s world however, does not only relate to me but to anyone with food and can give him masses of fuss which takes us on to the next point. He believes he is the owner of many people and expects them to pander to his every need as he feels he is far greater than ‘just a dog’. His snob like personality (that is so spot on), helps him choose what he does and does not want in life. Hmmmm, has the numerologist been watching his eye rolling and sighing when he is given something below his expected standard?

Stubbornness is all part of his birth date I was told, so it’s not really his fault. Knowing this, it felt much easier to accept that it was not just my imagination that he was stubborn, It was a birth chart involuntary response that made him sit in protest earlier that day on a walk and not the fact that he wanted a taxi or bus home as I originally thought. His dramatic way of life and larger than life personality was his destiny and not the fact that he was spoilt from birth. He was not born to be a shrinking violet and his sense of entitlement was always meant to be.

Apart from all these diva-like qualities that are hard to ignore in him, he also has some of the most loving qualities possible. He is a friend to everyone he meets and loves to spread his joy wherever he goes. His sensitivity taps into people who need it and he has a calming nature that the neediest feel. He knows no fear as his bravery is as strong as can be. Lastly, his intuition should always be trusted as he senses things that we may be oblivious too.

Out of all this spot-on information about him, the nicest thing to hear was that he is happy being a Guide dog. The sense of purpose that he carries through life pleases him. Being of loving service to myself and others he meets along the way, helps to keep his tail wagging on day after day. His perfection that was written in the stars makes me fall deeper in love with him as time goes by. My naughty but nice dog was born just at the right time in just the right way.

My Lucky Life

Tags

Animal, Blind, Dog, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Sight Loss

“I am so sorry to hear you have lost you vision” said the blurred figure in front of me. The sincerity in his voice was sweet but my ears tried to deflect the genuine regret onto someone who really needed it. Standing by the bus stop on the way back from work, we had spent the last ten minutes talking to someone who knew me but I had no idea who they were. I did not recognize his voice or his shadowy blurry outline, but he knew a lot about me which was a little bit strange to say the least.
I always seem to forget that people use their eyes to recognize others and not voices, unique sounding footsteps or method of deductions to recognize who is there. This person knew where I lived and knew my children and I had no idea of who he was as his new voice made its way into my memory bank to be filed alongside the masses of others I had met throughout my lifetime. It must have been the puzzled look on my face that told him that I had no idea of who he was which prompted him to explain that he used to live on my street. Phew, panic over.
The first time he said that he was sorry that I had lost my sight, I felt a little shocked at what he was saying as if I am honest I had never felt any regret from loosing my sight. This was however not a thing that you could share with everyone as it was not an easy concept to explain. The fact that I usually forgot that I could not see can be hard to comprehend so I usually kept that one to myself. Explaining to others however that I had gained so much insight from my sight loss may still have been alien to them but my reasonings may be a little easier to understand.
My sight loss although is not ideal, is not fatal. Unlike some of the other side effects of Marfan Syndrome, sight loss was inconvienent but not life threatening. If I had perfect sight from birth I don’t think that I would have the unique view on the world that I am blessed with. I would not have learnt to think outside of the box and learn alternative coping strategies to make me lead a fulfilling life. I would have not met others that I know in the sight loss community either that have enriched my life. Most importantly, if I had fully functioning vision then I would never had met Munch. So sorry I am not.
I loved the sentiment of this blurry figure that stood in front of me as he was coming from the most compassionate place and thanked him but even after explaining to him that I was thankful more than sorry he just didn’t get it. It is never easy to understand another person’s life when we only have our own lives to match it too. It is sometimes those who appear to be without that are the actual ones that have the most enriched lives. I love my life and all that it has brought and would never want to change anything about it. I am thankful every day for the lucky life that I lead and hope that we can all someday start to appreciate how lucky we truly are.

Maybe We Could Start Doing It Right

Tags

Beauty, Gratitude, Kindness, Love, Manifest, Unconditional Love

Maybe we are doing it all wrong.
What if we chose to see others as mirrors of ourselves and only spoke words to them that we would want to hear ourselves. If we realized that we were not more or less important than anyone else and just equal to them, then maybe we would learn to see each other fairly. Would we not live in a more positive world if we chose to be more positive to others and received back what we gave out?
What if we chose to speak with kind words or not at all, to those that pass through our lives each day. If we realized that people’s mistakes were part of them being human and not what defines them, would we not encourage people to try again and not feel like failures? Would we not feel empowered by helping others find the power in their own lives instead of taking it away from them?
What if we chose to encourage children to help one another whenever they needed it and helped them build their own community where nothing but support existed. If we explained to children about the power of their words, they would have the knowledge to transform life for themselves and another in such beautiful ways. Would they not feel anything but love from then on?
What if we chose to not judge on appearance but on the authenticity of the person that will never fade with age. If we learnt that our opinions were not the only ones in the world and others are just as valid, we would learn to live alongside not against another. Would we not feel happier in a world that encouraged alternative voices instead of trying to silence them?
What if we chose to see the beauty in difference and not feel threatened enough to attack it. If we stopped our adoration of superficial beauty and learnt to love natural beauty, would we not find more smiles on real faces? Would we not feel more comfortable in a world that appreciated something out of the ordinary that could teach us about things that we may never have known?
What if we chose to be the kindest version of ourselves and nothing else. If we learnt to see the perfection in everyone that we met, we would learn that our perfection is no different just equal. Would we not feel that our lives were full of miracles if we chose to transform the emptiness by filling it with our own version of bliss?
Maybe we could start doing it right.