World Autism Awareness Day

Tags

Acceptance, Autism, Autism Awareness, Non Judgement, Unconditional Love, Wishes

I am lucky enough to have my birthday the same day as World Autism Awareness Day on the 2nd April. I say lucky as to me, this day helps spread awareness of something that has been part of my life for the last 17 years. Jaidan, my awesome son with Autism has taught me to see the world in a different light and he has been one of my most inspirational teachers I have met. His self-awareness surpasses any expectations that a text book would say is possible. His empathy is core to all his actions and is not absent as experts would lead us to believe. Jaidan communicates in deeper ways that research tells us autistic people do. In Jaidan’s life, social interactions are based on a compassionate drive to accept others as they are. His imagination and flexibility of thought are processed in different ways and are just more concrete than fluid. He could not be more perfect if he tried. If I had a Birthday Wish, it would be for others to understand Autism in the way we have learnt to understand it. I wish others would know that

– Autism is only a part of the person and does not define who they truly are.
– Autism affects everyone differently. Once you have met someone on the spectrum you have not met everyone on the spectrum.
– There is no true stereotype of Autism, just as there is no true stereotype of the Neurotypicals among us.
– Autism doesn’t need to be cured, it needs to be accepted.
– Not everyone with Autism lacks empathy, in fact some research says that people with autism are more empathetic than neurotypicals.
– Processing of information is not faulty, it is just different.
– There are far more similarities between people with Autism and Neurotypicals than there are differences.
– Autism does not stunt dreams. it is the restricted thinking of others that does.

As Jaidan prepares for his next step in life in the summer University programme that he has been accepted for, I am eagerly awaiting what else he will teach me. Awareness of anything in life is best learnt from an original source. I hope that each birthday that I celebrate will be filled with increased awareness of Autism and how it makes a person the true perfection that they are.

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Mothers Day Thanks

Tags

Beauty, Mother Love, Motherls Day, Sharing, Thanks, Unconditional Love, Wishes

To all the mothers who have birthed perfection, thank you for gifting the world true beauty that radiates from the inside out. Your perfect creation is exactly what the world needs to help others see how one person can change the lives of many. Implanting your inner beauty into the soul of your child is a gift that will always keep on giving.

To all the mothers who have nurtured those who they have not birthed, thank you for stepping in as a leading light. Selflessly giving to a soul in need helps in ways that you may never get to know about but will always be present. Maternal love does not have to lie in matched DNA but will always lie in matched hearts.

To all the mothers who have babies with four paws and fur or two feet and feathers, thank you for being the connection between the human and animal world. The unconditional love that is shared between you should be bottled and distributed for love starved situations. Children come in all versions and hairiness, but unconditional love only comes in the one form that you are.

To all the mothers who feel like they are failing at motherhood, thank you for keeping going. Your child will not remember your messy hair, piles of ironing or tired body but they will remember the comfort in your arms. You are the anchor that your child needs in choppy times so knowing that you are their stability can help them keep afloat with the lifeline of love that you give them.

To all the mothers who have children with additional needs, thank you for being their voice. When some may see additional needs, you see additional opportunities to help them live their life to the maximum. Fighting for equality and compassion is the super power that you have discovered since you met the centre of your world so embrace this super power with pride.

To all the mothers to be, enjoy the wait for your beautiful child, your pregnancy is unique to you alone and never let another taint your version of bliss. As soon as your baby will be birthed out of the security of your womb and into the big wide world, smile in the knowledge that you are giving your child the best start in life. Beginnings are the scaffolding of life.

To all the mothers that have lost their child, please take care of your broken heart. When your angel left your life, they remain forever yours. Time may never heal the void in your heart but may act as a marker of everlasting love. The glow in your heart when your angels name is spoken will always stay ignited and will never be dimmed.

To all the mothers that never were, thank you for wanting to be. The physical form of your child may never have appeared but in your mind, they were always there. The love that you have showered upon children you have nurtured, sponsored and been present for will always be remembered. Your beautiful mothering nature always let the child know that mothers don’t have to be biological.

To all the mothers that come in different forms, thank you for being you.

Swan Lake

Tags

Animals, Beauty, Dog, Guide Dog, Labradoodle, Swan, Unconditional Love

“I demand you get back in here NOW”.

How dare he come into my lake (okay my pond but my home so I will call it what I want) and leave without permission. Does he not realize how magnificent Swans such as I are, and that we decide who we welcome or reject in our home? I knew straight away that he was one that could be easily manipulated. He was as threatening as a leaf as he gently tip toed into my territory. I could sense straight away that he wasn’t one of those small yappy dogs that wanted to fight everything including its shadow. He was a big softy.

Led by his mischief, he come close enough to say hello but far enough away not to get pecked. I am glad he knew the rules that he must abide by with me from the word go. Having a quick gander around I could see most of the other swans and ducks were elsewhere so I thought I may as well have some entertainment with my new hairy friend.

As the featherless and relatively hairless two legged being that was with this dog chatted away to others of the similar species, I heard him say that the dog was not his, but he was a friend of the owners. How ridiculous the two-legged species can be believing that they own a dog. Try owning a swan and see how far they get.

Apparently, my new play mate was called Munch. I instructed Munch that we would be playing chase around the pond and he seemed fine with it. Obviously, I was the leader and he trailed behind me like an after-thought. Okay well, he was quite a cute after thought but I didn’t want to tell him that and inflate his ego as I didn’t want him thinking he was equal to a swan. Gliding off gracefully in my regular haunt, I could hear him panting heavily behind me as he doggy paddled at speed to keep up. It was so much fun circling back around him and chasing him back.

The laughter I heard coming from the banks from the two-legged kind made us put on more of a show. Is it that bizarre for a swan and a dog to be play mates? I heard the man that Munch was with saying that he had taken pictures to show his owner (pfft, Munch told me he calls her his maid). My heart sank a little when I saw him heading for the bank for the last time. He woofed that he will be back soon for another play date. He seems to respect my pond (which I told him was really the best lake in the world and he believed me), so he is welcome to come back for a game of chase whenever he wants.

Until we meet again Munch, keep being the gentle soul that you are.

A Day In The Life Of A Healer

Tags

Animal, Autism, Children, Dog, Gratitude, Guide Dog, Healer, Healing, Kindness, Love, Mental Health, Peace, Thanks, Unconditional Love

Pulling towards each other, they met in the middle and fell into each other’s space. Like two familiar souls, these strangers created a unity that looked like it had existed for an eternity. The connection that anchored the pair rooted on the spot at the train station, gave an insight into the world of the unspoken realm of healing. Munch sensed the need for this girl to feel secure before she entered another day in the unknown world of school life. Meeting a highly anxious young girl with autism, triggered off the natural healing instinct in him to come alive. The kisses that he planted on her beautiful face reassured her that she would get through another day and be just fine.

When Munch chose what I thought was a random seat on the train, I had no idea that we would be sitting opposite a man who was losing his sight. As we chatted away and Munch gave his paw and heart to the man, he must have known that this was the place that we really needed to sit. We listened to how the man had been patiently waiting for a guide dog for the last year and a half, yet his vision seemed to be in a hurry to deteriorate. The questions that poured out from him were answered verbally by me and physically by Munch. Hearing the words “I know my wait will be worth it after meeting this furry fella” reaffirmed the positive impact that Munch has on the life of another.

Throughout the working day he continued to spread his healing magic to lonely children that he made feel loved, gave self esteem to those that had little and absorbed the stress that invaded the lives of many. His calming presence that filled the room allowed our clients to leave the chaos of life on the other side of the door and embrace the forgotten peace that lay within each of them. Sharing his toys with those that had forgotten the fun of play in childhood triggered sleepy parts of them that needed to reawaken. Demonstrating his pure love for life was the best infection that anyone could ever catch.

Later that night in training in work, he lightened the mood as the heaviness of the subject permeated the room. The sombre subject of suicide triggered deep emotions in the room that Munch tired to even out. He whimpered in a way that seemed to speak of the groups sadness and began using his Munch like qualities to magic it away. Lying on his back with paws to ceiling he began doing his happy dance with tongue flopping out of his mouth and tail wagging to try and turn frowns upside down. He even went around to kiss each person one by one and gave an extra hug to someone who had just lost her dog. His love was all that was needed.

This healer works in ways that has no structure, just freedom in all that he does. Once met never forgotten, he moves through life in his own unique way on a life path that he was meant to live. Leaving people feeling better in whatever way he can is his personal motto in life. We may never know the positive impact that we have on peoples lives but our impact should always be positive. If we cannot heal another then we should not harm. If we each took small steps to heal ourselves and others in whatever way we can, there would never be anything left to heal as how can we heal perfection?

Maybe We Could Start Doing It Right

Tags

Beauty, Gratitude, Kindness, Love, Manifest, Unconditional Love

Maybe we are doing it all wrong.
What if we chose to see others as mirrors of ourselves and only spoke words to them that we would want to hear ourselves. If we realized that we were not more or less important than anyone else and just equal to them, then maybe we would learn to see each other fairly. Would we not live in a more positive world if we chose to be more positive to others and received back what we gave out?
What if we chose to speak with kind words or not at all, to those that pass through our lives each day. If we realized that people’s mistakes were part of them being human and not what defines them, would we not encourage people to try again and not feel like failures? Would we not feel empowered by helping others find the power in their own lives instead of taking it away from them?
What if we chose to encourage children to help one another whenever they needed it and helped them build their own community where nothing but support existed. If we explained to children about the power of their words, they would have the knowledge to transform life for themselves and another in such beautiful ways. Would they not feel anything but love from then on?
What if we chose to not judge on appearance but on the authenticity of the person that will never fade with age. If we learnt that our opinions were not the only ones in the world and others are just as valid, we would learn to live alongside not against another. Would we not feel happier in a world that encouraged alternative voices instead of trying to silence them?
What if we chose to see the beauty in difference and not feel threatened enough to attack it. If we stopped our adoration of superficial beauty and learnt to love natural beauty, would we not find more smiles on real faces? Would we not feel more comfortable in a world that appreciated something out of the ordinary that could teach us about things that we may never have known?
What if we chose to be the kindest version of ourselves and nothing else. If we learnt to see the perfection in everyone that we met, we would learn that our perfection is no different just equal. Would we not feel that our lives were full of miracles if we chose to transform the emptiness by filling it with our own version of bliss?
Maybe we could start doing it right.

To The Bullied Child

Tags

Animal, Bullying, Children, Counseling, Dog, Guide Dog, Humour, Inspire, Kindness, Love, Pet Therapy, Unconditional Love

Come in. We have been looking forward to seeing you today. Munch has warmed up your seat ready for you, but he will soon be jumping to the floor when you come in. Sorry in advance for the doggy breath kisses that he wants to smother you with. Can you give our apologise please to whoever washes your clothes, as they will be covered with hair from him cuddling into you. He loves seeing you each week and has no concept of personal space so he just wants to sit next to you and connect.

When he sits by your feet and gives you his paw, he is speaking for both of us as we thank you for showing up and being here with us for the next hour. As he gazes up at you, he sees the most perfect human ever and will never tire of seeing you. He sees you as a friend and will always be loyal and will never leave your side. As he rubs his head into your lap, he is trying to leave a part of him behind, that will stay with you as you go through your day. As he lays down on your feet, he is telling you that you belong to the same pack of warriors that this world so desperately needs more of.

Life outside this room can be tough, but when you are here with us we really want you to know that life can also be full of love. The words that fall out of the bully’s mouths do not belong to you. You are a totally different person than they make you out to be. We know the real you that your loved ones know and adore. We also know the sheer joy that you bring into people’s lives without even knowing it. As the bully lures you away from the real you, we will always keep you anchored to your true self. Our counselling room door will always be the doorway to healing whenever you are ready.

As my Guide Dog becomes your Pet Therapy pal, he waits to see you transform into the person that you want to be. Loving yourself is easier to do when you surround yourself with people who love you. These are the cheerleaders that you need around to help you through the game of life. You may not have met your tribe of people yet, but they are so excited to meet you so search for them in the unlikeliest of places. By changing your surroundings, you are changing your opportunities.

It is impossible to brainwash a waterproof brain so whatever the bully tries to throw at you, it can never hurt if your self-love seal is intact. Don’t allow people to chip away at the perfect human that you are, as a broken you would not be you. Learn to love the life that you were born to lead and don’t let anyone get in your way. I hope that one day soon you can see yourself as the perfect being that Munch sees you as. You too would fall in love with yourself and know the beautiful difference that you make in the lives of others. Just ask Munch.

I Do Not Care About That But I Do Care About You

Tags

Blind, Diversity, Happiness, Individuality, Judgement, Kindness, Love, Positivity, Unconditional Love

I do not care if your eyebrows are not on fleek. I do not care if the spot that you think is huge, is there. I do not care if you have dribbled mayonnaise all over your top from your lunch. I do not care that you have some spinach between your teeth. I do not care that you wore the same top to go out for the fifth time in a row. I do not care that your body is a different body than what it was twenty years ago. I do not care that your roots are showing through. I do not care that your appearance to the outside world is not always perfect.

I do care that you are healthy. I do care that when you look in the mirror you like what you see. I do care that you wear clothes to impress yourself not others. I do care that when you smile it is real. I do care that your body is as well as you can make it. I do care that over the years you have grown into the person that you have always wanted to be. I do care that you know that your beauty comes from your soul. I do care that the outside world sees you for who you truly are.

Seeing is not always believing. For me, sight loss has meant insight gains. The beauty of a person goes deeper than the body that they dwell in. I don’t know what society’s perfection looks like as I have never been able to properly see. I can tell you though what a beautiful person is like. A beautiful person is loving. A beautiful person is kind. A beautiful person is empathic. A beautiful person is wise. A beautiful person is compassionate. A beautiful person is altruistic. A beautiful person exists within every one of 7 billion people that are in this world.

I care that although life gets tough, you realize that life will not always be like this. I care that you realize how much of a positive impact you have on others in your life. I care that you inspire others to reach their happy zone. I care that you are you. I care that without functional vision I can still see you. I care that I am not the only one that can see past the spot on your face that has natural eyebrows and appreciate the spinach between your teeth. I care that we can see past your mayonnaise covered aging top that covers your unique lovable body and your wisdom strands that many see as hair roots. I care that others do not use their eyes alone to judge.

I care because we all should.

Sorry. Why would I have a Bucket?

Tags

Animal, Blind, Diversity, Dog, Guide Dog, Hidden Disability, Humour, Individuality, Judgemental attitude, Pets, Positivity, Sight Loss, Unconditional Love, Unique

There are times that I sit and wonder what planet I am from, as I really don’t understand some humans. One of these times of contemplation happened a few days ago whilst I was day dreaming, standing inside a shop doorway waiting for my friend to get served. An older sounding lady come up to me and said “Oh what a sweet dog, here you are love. Where is your bucket?”. “Sorry“ I replied. Had she mistaken me for a blind cleaner with a Guide Dog as part of a job share? “I thought you lot were always in blue?” the lovely lady continued. I racked my brains to what “us lot” she meant. I have always been rather partial to dressing up for nights out with the girls, but I could not recall dressing as a Smurf ever, so I was a little mystified to what lot she meant. “Guide dog staff usually wear blue, don’t they? I want to donate as they are such an amazing charity”. My meandering mind caught up with her words and I realized that she thought I was fundraising. “Oh no sorry, he is my Guide Dog” I politely explained. “Oh. Why do you need a Guide Dog if you are not blind though as you don’t look blind”? Boom there it was, another judgemental remark to add to my collection.

It wasn’t the first time that I had been mistaken for not looking blind. A few months previously, on duty Minster and I were working in a school when we passed a group of boys around 15-16 years old. One of them thought he was a police dog and asked why we were in school. Not one to miss out on an opportunity to wind someone up, I told him that we were there to ensure nothing dodgy was brought into the school. A sudden hesitant silence engulfed the group of boys. After a few seconds of silence, I helped them out of their panic pit and said he was my Guide Dog and was greeted with a dozen questions. These ranged from “what, do you mean you can’t see” to “how can you work here if you can’t read anything”. To be fair they were genuinely intrigued and not being insulting so I spent a while with them answering questions whilst they fed Minster some of their lunch whilst he was in his Please Do Not Feed Me harness. They soon became his favourite group of treat giving friends over the next few months.

I have been told I look too young to be blind as one person thought only older people turned blind. Instead of loosing faith in humanity at that point, I kindly explained to them that babies can be born blind. When out with another person, I sometimes get ignored when people ask my friend/family member about my Guide Dog as obviously blind people can’t answer for themselves can they! I often get asked why I don’t wear dark glasses as apparently that is the official sign of Blindness. I have been asked why I have a television if I cannot see it. I get asked a lot of questions yet only rarely do they come from the right place of compassionate intrigue.

I could have answered the woman’s question of where my bucket was with a multitude of alternative answers, some of which would not be printable. I choose however, to see it as a compliment as my “not looking blind” matches my “not feeling blind” attitude. Ever the rebel, a label does not define me, so I will not allow an uneducated judgement to offend me. I believe that we are a true reflection of the way we perceive the world so when I am mistaken for being a trainer, volunteer or a fundraiser for Guide Dogs I feel blessed that I am perceived as fully sighted. The world exists beyond our immediate visual field, so I feel I see more than a fully functioning set of eyes would ever allow me to see. Being form such an imaginary planet can be the most blissful place ever.

Sleeping Beauty

Tags

Blind, Dog, Guide Dog, Happiness, Individuality, Labradoodle, Love, Pets, Sleeping Beauty, Unconditional Love, Work And Play

Some dogs sleep outside, some sleep in cages indoors, some curled up in their doggy beds and then there are others that sleep wherever they fancy. Munch certainly belongs to the latter type. Before I applied for a Guide Dog I was a little concerned that maybe the dog would feel that he/she was being exploited and may work too hard. I obviously then did not know much about Munch and his type of dog. If I had, I would have reassured myself that all would be fine, and he would soon dictate the working conditions he would be desiring. His understanding of the working conditions goes a little like this…

• For every hour On Duty, I require 6 hours Off Duty.
• I will not get out of bed without a morning massage and a 20-minute Munch appreciation session where you must repeatedly confirm that I am the best boy in the whole world and I get more and more handsome every day.
• As I am part Poodle, it is a legal requirement for me to obey your commands only when I feel ready.
• I require at least an hour warning before I am to go On Duty and grace the public with my appearance.
• I will go to the toilet whenever I feel fit and not go on your “Busy, Busy” command that we Guide Dogs are trained to do. A Gentleman’s toileting needs shall not be scheduled in to suit you. An alluring looking lamp post that needs to be marked with one’s scent can crop up at any moment.
• Holidays are a must for such a hard-working dog as myself so when booking Hotel rooms, please ensure that they adequately equipped for me as well as yourself. It is also advantageous if you could ensure that the hotel and waiting staff must fuss over me at every available opportunity. Failure to do so may result in me using my sad puppy dog eyes to bestow a feeling of guilt upon them.
• You must play with me and my toys with undivided attention whilst Off Duty. If I choose on the rare occasion to run off with your slipper, you will be required to allow me and feel honoured that I have chosen to leave my doggy DNA from my slobbers on your said item.
• When I choose to go to sleep multiple times a day, please note I must be allowed access to the sofa, cuddle chair or any of the beds at the property. If on the rare occasion I choose to sleep in one of my designated dog’s beds around the property, then consider it as a thoughtful gift.
• Any changes to this contract will be changed whenever I see fit. Please note, when you signed the contract to have me as your Guide Dog, you signed to love me just as I am. Who could not love perfection?

Since having Munch, many dog owners have told me that they would never let their dogs on furniture and that they need to know their place. I understand their views, but each owner and animal have their own unique relationship. The bond you form with a Guide Dog is such a deep trusting relationship as they become your connection to the world that you cannot see so for me a happy dog means a happy life. Changing beds, a couple of times a week to sleep hair free is a tiny price to pay for living with such a majestic soul trapped in a dog’s body. This sleeping beauty can rest his head wherever he wishes for his reward for just being him.

My Face Recognition Device

Tags

Animal, Blind, Dog, Great teacher, Guide Dog, Happiness, Labradoodle, Pets, Sight Loss, Unconditional Love, Unique, Visual Impairement

Faces have always been a mystery to me as I have never been able to see them unless close up in pictures. This is only possible if I can inspect the detail in the picture at a nose length away. Recognising people has always come from other clues. From hearing their distinct voice to hearing their unique footsteps and every imaginable sensory subtlety in between, seeing people has always been possible through ingrained memory as apposed to ease. When my four children were babies, I could see their general appearance when I held them in my arms but as soon as they became to big to hold, they became too far away to see. This is the only time that it ever really mattered to me.

Having four children under the age of six meant that at various times they all became similar heights so recognising them became harder as time went on and I had to be vigilant in the clothes that they wore to help distinguish them from one another. As my eyesight deteriorated even more, I began wondering how I was going to use my methods of deductions to distinguish between masses of similar looking blurs. My solution came in the form of a nosey, fan seeking, intelligent face recognising device a.k.a. my Guide Dog, Minster Munch. He only needs to see a face once to be able to memorize, categorize and prioritize that face into his elephant like memory system.

The memorizing is probably the easiest part of the process for him. He has this ability to leave an impression on the people he meets and therefore he memorizes the reactions that he initially receives. He memorizes the exact location that these people can usually be found, whether it be in certain shops or houses. Next comes the categorization of these new found faces. Categories include the easily manipulated ones, the dog treat carriers, the eager doggy kiss receivers, the chin stokers, the non-fussed and his fun time walkers. The prioritizing of these faces then depends on the mood that he is in on that day. If he is after a free run with one of the fun time walkers then he may bypass an easily manipulated one to meet his need on that given day. This Face Recognition talent works wonders for both him and I.

As he begins to quicken his pace towards an oncoming blur, I know that it is someone we know. The pace of his quicken strides gives me an indication of how well known they are to us. If it is someone that is close family or a friend, he may also begin to get a little bit excited, whining to alert me that the loved one is near. I love this about him as although he may be more interested in what he can gain from his oncoming friend, he is linking me to the sighted world which has always been impossible for me to do alone. Without him, the faceless blurs I love living amongst, remain a mystery to me. He has now become my eyes that I have never properly seen through. This Face Recognizing Device will always be one of my favourite gifts that I have been given, and he only requires treats, fuss and love to run on. How amazing is that?